My husband and I have a couple with whom we socialize with almost every other weekend. AS the years have gone by her cooking and dinners she serves us, especially those involving meat , poultry or fish products , have become almost completely inedible. I admit, I’m a picky eater- organic, from scratch, fresh- picked - you get the drift. She has recently stated that she sees no difference in organic or buying better cuts of meats, but it’s not just that - it’s raw roast chicken, meat so raw its quivering, weird tasting sauces that she’s thrown together from cans and jars . My husband, who grew up eating government cheese and who would scrape the mold of of bologna to make a sandwich , hates her cooking. It’s not money - they live in a 2 million dollar house, kids out of the house, college all paid for in cash and they bought their children each a half a million dollars house. I offer to bring dinner most weekends to escape her cooking , but she is lately insisting on cooking and of course we have to choke down a few mouthfuls to be polite. Last week we went to Five Guys right before we ate at her house because we were both hungry and couldn’t face an evening of eating only vegetables. Any thoughts on how we can approach this ? Special diets we could say we’ve taken up ?
Go out?
ETA: If she is as close a friend as she must be, if you’re seeing them every other weekend, I think you have to say something. Maybe not to the tune of, “You’re a terrible cook,” but maybe something just fact-based, like, “This chicken is underdone.” Factual, not an opinion.
And then follow up with, “Whenever I make chicken, I always use my digital thermometer to make sure it’s reached 165 degrees.” Show her the next time she’s at your house. And maybe bring a gift of a digital thermometer the next time you go to her house.
+1 on suggesting you go out. Or do some other activity together that isn’t centered around sharing a meal at her house.
Maybe suggest that you/husband are on a “special diet” and need to bring your own food or cook, your unstated “special diet” being you won’t eat crap and raw poultry. 
Maybe you and she can take a cooking class together for “fun”. Does she have a birthday coming up? You can make it a gift.
Do your friends eat the atrocious meals with gusto and take more, praising themselves as they do so?
I would consider two approaches, one to say “I need meat to be well done, mind if I go and fry it up a bit?”
Second option, cut to expose the pink mess, and push the plate away. Don’t eat at all, but sip your drink and chat amiably.
Ugh. I sympathize. I am a foodie and super squeamish about food hygiene and gross stuff. I think I might suggest going out. There really is no kind way to tell someone their cooking disgusts you.
Weird sauces–or just sauces you aren’t familiar with–are one thing, raw chicken is another. The sauce I would eat or appear to eat to be polite. The chicken is dangerous…if you are really close friends, ask if she would mind if you cook it a bit more, maybe in the microwave. Or ask if there is any that is a bit more well done. That should send a message. Lots of meat lovers go for meat that is virtually raw, which sickens some of the rest of us. A thoughtful host tries to determine this in advance. Some people just decide that anyone who prefers medium rare to purple is a barbarian…friends wouldn’t do that to you.
Organic or non-organic vegetables is a non-issue in this situation. (Canned peas…those I would push around the plate because they are revolting. ) Cheap cuts vs expensive ones is also not an issue. Many dishes from classic cuisine, especially braised dishes, involve turning cheap cuts into something delicious. (Short ribs, for example, used to be cheap. Chuck roasts…that sort of thing. More flavorful than filet.)
There’s preferences, and there’s being asked to each food that may literally poison you!
I’m just curious OP - does she and her husband clean their plate???
I agree with saying something to the effect - “oops, looks like a piece of meat that isn’t cooked well enough - would you mind if I stick it back in the oven/skillet/whatever for a couple minutes?”
It’s really odd that this has become a recent habit of hers.
If it’s a recent development, I’d actually be worried about early onset dementia. My MIL started doing all sorts of weird stuff before we figured out what the real problem was. I think it’s okay to say, “I’m sorry, I just can’t eat raw chicken, do you mind if I throw it in the microwave?” We worry too much about hurting people’s feelings. It’s okay to put your foot down. But I think the ideal solution might be to just go out.
I agree with @mathmom, on all counts.
Is there a lot of pre dinner drinking?
Any chance they don’t really want to be eating dinner with you every other weekend, and she’s purposefully ruining dinner?
Why don’t you test the waters and tell them you can’t make it next weekend. See how they react.
If I was served undercooked chicken or pork, I would actually call it out for everyone to stop eating immediately. No way would I sit idle and watch friends eat raw chicken. There’s polite and there’s keeping quiet while watching people get food poisoning.
Anyway, aside from that I’m also curious if the hosts clean their plates? Surely people who have millions of dollars have eaten out at a restaurant once or twice and know what “normal” food tastes like?
This is one of the best threads ever !
OP asked : “Any thoughts on how we can approach this ?” Ask to switch plates.
Yes, if this is a change in her behavior, I would worry. Does her husband eat it happily? It sounds like you are quite close. I think you need to talk to one of them (him?) about this honestly.
Agree that if it is a sudden recent change in behavior, I’d speak with the spouse privately about your concerns. It may be worrying him too and your comments could help your friend get evaluated by her MD to see if it’s a medical condition that can and should be promptly addressed.
As others have mentioned, it could be an early sign of dementia or some other cognitive problem. Some others have mentioned their loved ones having bizarre behavior with an infection. This could fit.
If the undercooked chicken is sitting in the sauce, you can’t eat the sauce.
Are there some liberties being taken here with the description, is the chicken truly underdone or juicer than you prefer? Or the steak “blue” versus your preferred medium well?
Cuz I vote with don’t eat truly unsafe meat. And speak up. Or don’t go.
My dearest local friend will say, “Oh, I don’t like this.” Yup. Don’t go that far, lol. But we dine together as often as we do because we enjoy the experience.
To tell you the truth, the behavioral change thing had crossed my mind, also.
If they’re good friends, could you suggest a cooking class as a fun activity? You could certainly phrase it as something you’ve always wanted to do, and want company for.
Or, flip side: claim that you want to eat healthier, and that you want to find activities to do together that aren’t centered around food.
How about…don’t have dinner. Sometimes when we have friends over, we have an appetizer buffet. If you did that, and each of you contributed say…two appetizers, it would be filling, and each time, you would KNOW that at least half of what is being served is going to be cooked properly for you…and be edible!
You could bill it as “let’s try something different, and share the cooking wealth”.