S1 is planning to propose to his GF in about eight weeks. He is seriously considering using my grandmother’s ring to propose with. It’s a three-stone ring with two “collet-set” diamonds on each side and, currently, a pearl in the middle. It’s very old-fashioned with a beautiful filligree setting. No one likes the pearl in the middle so we’ve been discussing with the jeweler the possibility of having a sapphire placed in there instead.
Today I got some serious prices from the jeweler:
A beautiful sapphire that they already have in the store -- 1.1 carats, for $1,998. This is slightly smaller than the "opening" that already exists, where the pearl was. The fellow who would be doing the work said that he would build up the setting around the stone so it is not apparent that the stone is slightly smaller than the hole was.
A larger sapphire to fill the opening more completely that would need to be ordered (and then we'd "approve" it before we buy it). This one would be 1 3/4 carats. I like the larger size because it would better fill the middle of the ring, but this one is -- hold on to your hats -- $3,675. The owner said he'd discount it 15%, so that brings it down to "only" $3,123.
A synthetic sapphire. At first, I was totally dismissive of the concept but then I asked the fellow to fill me in and now I'm much more intrigued. According to the jeweler, a synthetic sapphire wears as well as a "natural" sapphire and looks exactly like the real thing. The only ones who will know it's not natural are those you choose to tell. The cost? Something in the neighborhood of $350!!
None of these prices include the labor, which we have discussed separately. The cost of the labor will not vary depending on the choice of stone.
At the end of the day, my son will decide what to do. But he’ll be asking me what I think so I’d like to have more of an opinion about the synthetic option. I know my CC friends will have opinions of their own.
I wouldn’t put a synthetic stone in an engagement ring. Anniversary or another occasion, yes, engagement no.
Is he sure she will love the setting? An engagement ring is worn for a long long time. If there is any inkling that she might not like what your s is picking out, I would not buy anything right now and wait for what she wants to do after the proposal.
Personally I think that $3500 isn’t that bad for an engagement ring, so I would go with the bigger stone if that’s what would look best.
You can’t buy an engagement ring for $3500…well…one that sounds as nice as this one.
When we were considering doing work on the engagement ring DD has…we first had the jeweler give us a rough appraisal. The ring was worth more than 10 times what we were doing to fix it.
Has your jeweler given you a rough estimate of the ring vale with all the choices? I would want that.
I agree with those who said no synthetic, not for an engagement ring that has so much meaning. I would use synthetic in any other jewelry/rings because they are beautiful. But not for something so special and heart felt.
while synthetic diamonds and other gem stones have come a long way, I kind of agree with the others, that I wouldn’t put a synthetic in it. I realize it is totally irrational, that a synthetic stone will look as good or better than many real ones, but to me it isn’t the same. If the cost of putting a real stone in there is too much,and you S can’t afford it, then maybe he should forgo using grandma’s ring (for now), get a simpler ring for the engagement ring, with the promise that as funds allow it he eventually will have grandma’s ring reworked. When I proposed to my wife, I didn’t have a lot of money, so her engagement ring was relatively simple and wasn’t that expensive, later on when I could afford it (and had a wonderful place to buy her a ring whose owners are friends and i trust), I bought her something nicer, as a sign of love and appreciation. I am no expert, but based on my limited experience, I think the fiancee to be would appreciate a simpler ring with the promise of a better one later on, rather than cheapen up by using a synthetic stone, if only it being about honesty.
Is he planning to surprise her with grandmas ring, or does she know about it? (I didn’t surprise my wife with the ring, we picked it out together). If she knows about the ring, if the real one is too much, then ask her if she would be okay with the synthetic one for now, so she can have grandma’s ring, with the promise that eventually he will have the ring upgraded to something to make the ring even more special.
Another against synthetic. It’s great that the ring will have special meaning, and it sounds like it will be “something old, something new and something blue” all at the same time.
I bought W a synthetic emerald for a necklace once. Synthetic emeralds are actually indistinguishable from real emeralds. The only way you can tell them apart is that the synthetics have no flaws. I believe the same is true for sapphires. So oddly enough the only way to tell you have the real thing is if it’s not perfect. So it’s not really the same thing as say, cubic zirconium vs real diamond.
I think whether or not your S goes synthetic is really a philosophical thing depending on how he thinks his GF will feel about it.
Here’s what the GIA has to say about synthetic stones:
A synthetic gem material is one that is made in a laboratory, but which shares virtually all chemical, optical, and physical characteristics of its natural mineral counterpart, though in some cases, namely synthetic turquoise and synthetic opal, additional compounds can be present
I have all synthetic diamonds (blue for the main stone, clear for the others) in my engagement ring and I have zero regrets. I get compliments on it all the time and no one, to my knowledge, has EVER realized they weren’t “real” unless I tell them (which I normally do). And my ring was WAY under any of those prices.
I think the whole obsession with “real” stones is unnecessary.
My PhD geology friends tell me that in terms of crystal structure and composition, synthetic sapphires (as opposed to fake glass sapphires or star sapphires) are identical to natural or mined sapphires. I have a pair of synthetic sapphire earrings that are in a 14K gold setting with diamonds and nobody will ever be able to tell the difference. I understand the reluctance to go with “fake” but then again I buy synthetic vanilla for my baking since I know that the chemical formula is identical to the natural stuff.
I think the heirloom setting is what will make it special. You S has one very lucky GF.
Jewelry maven here (not a surprise)" $3500 will buy in Beverly Hills today…at a discount store…and yes, they do have them here…a REAL diamond about a carat (depending on quality) or more. Our son bought his now wife a one carat stone with baqettes and a simple diamond wedding band. (Her center stone was1.1 carats. Total weight was 2.8
Another thing he can do is a semi cocktail ring with smaller stones…I saw a very nice ring (ok…I bought it) with 3 carats total weight for $3200.
One can always upgrade later on, if this is important to the couple.
Ps: that is a LOT for a 1.75 sapphire. Shop around? There are many reputable online places too that can sell by measurements required for existing setting.
Get the big stone, an engagement ring is supposed to be expensive, and 3 months salary was once a good price. So like 5k would be a good price, at 3200 you have a steal as I am sure he is not making 12k a year.
To be honest…I am going to be “honest”. No, a ring is not supposed to be expensive. It is supposed to be a symbol of love and beginning of a life together. Three months salary? No…unless you are a jeweler. A $100,000 wedding because “everyone in our circle has a big wedding” No…
Actually, they’re earning less than nothing. They’re both still in graduate school and have taken out student loans. So yeah, their income is around negative $30,000 a year.