Tread carefully, I agree. Perhaps they can come to an agreement between themselves about it.
We have three grandma diamonds. First to get engaged got to choose. The other two will go to the other kiddo.
“S2 has been hanging on to, thinking he might use it for his GF”
Is there any chance that S2’s GF knows about the ring he has been holding on to?
Sorry if I misunderstand: S2 has been hanging on to the 2nd ring, thinking it might go to his (long time, they will get married) GF…and S1 might take it from him? Doesn’t that sound problematic, considering S2 has had it for a while?
Someone posted a question related to this on the Bogleheads forum but no one appears to have answered. Is it generally cheaper to have existing stones reset, or to just buy a new ring?
I am thinking that depends on the monetary value of the stones and the metal and the craftsperson.
Once I had some earrings changed from screw on to posts for pierced ears; there was gold left over and the jeweler bought the extra from me. That discounted his work quite a bit.
adding: everyone has different idea about heirloom/family rings. I told my son the ring belonged to him, but I wanted the art deco setting back if they took the stones out.
congrats VH!! My son and DIL married in grad school as well, with my grandmother’s engagement ring. I figure if she wants something different later, she can wear it on the other hand or just keep it for one of their children.
I’m another woman, besides Hunt’s wife, who didn’t want a diamond at all. Because no one would believe me, except my husband, I was gifted ALL the family diamond rings and they sit in a safety deposit box.
DH didn’t get me an engagement ring. Just as well – I am always doing stuff with my hands, and a plain band really is ore my style. He got me a sapphire/diamond ring for our 25th, but I don’t wear it that much because I don’t want to mess up the stones (they are not large at all, but they are the only ones I have…). I do need to get the ring resized since my size has dropped appreciably over the past few years. $3k+ for a 1.1 sapphire seems like a LOT to me.
DH and I were together almost 10 years before we married and I wasn’t interested in a diamond (no actual proposals were involved anyway). I’ve just worn a simple gold band for 30 years. But now I’ve inherited my mother’s diamond ring (which sat in her safe deposit box; she wore a copy for fear of losing the real diamond). I like the stone but not the setting, which kind of buries the diamond into the band. So one of these days I may have it redesigned into either a ring or pendant. I actually prefer sapphires and emeralds but not enough to pay for a high quality stone!
I’ve worn my plain gold wedding band, by itself, ever since we got married. I wear one of my grandmother’s wedding bands on the other hand to keep an antique ring on my finger. It’s a really old ring and a very special present from my husband after I admired something similar in a museum display case.
Why was one of YOUR grandmother’s wedding bands a present from your husband?
Congrats on the engagement. But ditto- no synthetic stone in an engagement ring.
If he doesn’t buy her a ring now, chances are she’ll never want to spend that much money after on a stone, they’ll want a house, kids, tuition, etc
Have it ready to go now. No synthetic, but even if it’s a speck of a diamond make it real. I loved my inexpensive ring. When you get engaged the bride will be showing her ring to everyone, I can’t imagine having to explain the real stone will come later.
My husband bought me synthetic emerald earrings. I just won’t wear them because it feels fake and costume jewelry to me.
" Why was one of YOUR grandmother’s wedding bands a present from your husband? "
My mother inherited a few diamond rings from my grandmother. She decided that she wanted to give on of the diamonds to me , so she did it via my husband . My grandmother had two one carat diamonds that she had reset into a rather hideous cocktail ring. My mother had one of them set into a ring that she wore for a time , and my husband had the other made into a ring for me what I wear on my right hand.
I am guessing that alh had a similar story
I agree with you eyemamom…i don’t like synthetic stones either . I don’t have much jewelry , but what I do wear isn’t costume jewelry. It’s just not my thing
Same here. When DD’s fiancé asked us if he could propose, we offered him the ring choices. The gift was from him…even though it was a family ring from our side.
Possible but not likely.
And, in case I didn’t mention it, I have three heirloom diamond rings. S2 has been holding on to two of them. Neither son likes one of the rings particularly, although I do. (Let’s call that Ring 1. It was my grandmother’s cocktail ring.)
Frankly, the ring with the two diamonds and the pearl – once it has the sapphire added – will be, IMO, the absolute best of the three. (Let’s call this Ring 2. This was my grandmother’s.)
Ring 3 is my mother’s engagement ring. It’s pretty, but IMO nothing special. It has a nice diamond that’s 0.85 of a carat and is in a simple setting with a couple of weenie baguettes.
I can appreciate that S1’s GF would prefer Ring 3. She is not at all a “fancy” girl; she prefers things relatively simple.
Another note: I suspect that there would be some women who would prefer not to have a “family” ring, but would rather pick out a new ring for themselves. Groom-to-be’s family should try not to be offended if this is the case.
Actual synthetic stones (as opposed to glass, etc) are identical to their natural counterparts. Chemically, physically, structurally, optically identical to the point of being indistinguishable. The only real difference is that the natural ones have flaws and the synthetic ones are perfect. There’s no real reason to feel like they’re fake - even a jeweler can’t tell the difference unless he makes a guess on the basis of the synthetic not having flaws.
Oh good grief. Synthetic stones are NOT costume jewelry. A sapphire is a sapphire whether mined or made in a lab. They are IDENTICAL.
Why is this difficult for some people to grasp?