Need Help Getting Spouse On Board

<p>Anyone Have Any Suggestions... Now That My Son Has Bee Accepted To Wa, Husband Not Really Onboard.... I Have Two Other Children That Went To A Private Day School. They Did Get Great Fa(we Only Needed To Come Up With Less Than 1/4 Of The Full Tuition)... My Son Did Not Get Into A Day School. He Did, However, Get Into Two Boarding Schools. One With No Fa And One With Half Fa... I Think We Can Swing It,(the Half Aid) It Will Be Difficult But We Will Manage....
He Only Sees That Financial Burden And Won't Think About This..
My Son Is Very Interested In The School, But Is Feeling My Husbands Vibes As A Bad Thing....
I Am Trying To Convince Him That He Will Receive A Superior Education Than The Local H.s. Where The Top Of The Class Can Not Seem To Be Admitted To Colleges Which Are Not That Great. My Fear Is That My Son Is Not At The Top Of The Class At His Local H.s. He Id Getting Lost In The Middle. Where Will He End Up???
Anyone Have Any Suggestions That Will Convince My Spouse</p>

<p>Please Help....</p>

<p>I suggest talking to your son and asking him what he wants in life. Is he serious about the boarding school? Does he think that going there will improve his life experience? Ask him these questions and report to your spouse these responses.</p>

<p>Talk to the college guidance director at the fa school. Find out what their track record is in getting fa for college. If they offer great advising and have good fa and merit results, then your husband may see light at the end of the financial burden tunnel. However, I'm guessing that your son will need to do more than stay in the middle to reap college rewards.</p>

<p>That's the thing my son knows boarding school will improve his life experiences. he sees his sisters going. they have travelled, met new people from different places, have had wonderful academic experiences that are not just sitting at a desk for 70 minutes x 6 (his local H.S.)
he is just a bit nervous about being away which my husband uses to say ..."he is not ready"
my son is 16 and will be a repeat soph..... i think he will adjust but it will take time....</p>

<p>burb parent
that is a good suggestion.... i have looked at their matriculation list... it is great.....

<p>Did your husband go on the interview visits with you? D'yer will probably chime in shortly, but get your hubby to go on the re-visit day. That should help a LOT.</p>

<p>My husband went with my son alone on 2 trips to see 5 schools. They had such a wonderful bonding experience that he is completely on board.</p>

<p>he did... but right now he only sees it at a financial burden...
we just put son 1 through BC, d 2 will be going to cCornell next year... she did get descent aid...
i am seriously concerned that he will have trouble getting into college out of his local H.S?</p>

<p>he did... but right now he only sees it as a financial burden...
we just put son 1 through BC, d 2 will be going to cCornell next year... she did get descent aid... (they both did)
i am seriously concerned that he will have trouble getting into college out of his local H.S?</p>

<p>I wasn't going to respond here because you have good advice, but I don't want to make a liar out of Linda S who predicted I'd chime in, so I'll post what I would have said if she didn't beat me to it:</p>



<p>Thank you D'yer...but I did think you'd tell her about your wife and re-vist days.... :)</p>

<p>please do dyer,</p>

<p>what will he see at the revisit that he did not see at the open house and the tour and interview?
I am not sure that will persuade him.</p>

<p>Take a look at Convincing Family thread. I sort of have the same thing with my mom. People gave me some good advice and i'm sure you can distort it to spouse to spouse vs. kid to mom.</p>

<p>Your son sounds like mine. He would be lost in the middle at our local HS. BUT...has the potential for more. Goint to boarding school for him will give him the opportunities and the challenges to rise...maybe not to the top, but certainly higher than he would have. Beyond that, I don't know your son's personality, so what's next pertains to my son, and maybe you'll see some of yours in it. </p>

<p>When we initally made the switch from public to private day for elementary school he went from one of 26 to one of 12...or less. This year his classes average 8. Most of the boarding school's (and I'm sure WA is no exception) have average class sizes of around 11-13. It's a huge difference.<br>
As a boarding student, he will learn study habbits - boy does my son need that. All of the boarding schools have some kind of study time (either a required structured study hall, or a suggested study quiet time) - especially for 10th graders. That *alone *will most likely help my son's grades increase.<br>
Being surrounded by kids who, for the most part, WANT to learn. Another big difference. Not that there aren't kids at boarding school who are just there taking space, but for the most part, they want to learn. At our public school, sometimes it's not so "cool" to be smart. It makes it hard sometimes and kids will "dumb themselves down."</p>

<p>I think I would tell hubby that at the public school, college acceptances are low, at WA, the potential is ther for much better. Basically that's what it comes down to. The potential is there for great things.</p>

<p>thanks Linda,
any other advice?</p>

<p>Well, it's not what he will see this time that he didn't see before. It's what he won't see that you and your son will see at the revisit. The answer is "everything" if he misses it. You won't be able to share the experience. You won't be able to compare notes. You'll have a rift. If he's resistant now and then you and your son go to the revisit but he doesn' you expect him to come around. What would be the catalyst for that change?</p>

<p>Take the advice and talking points that Linda S shared and then make sure that he has a chance to observe them during the revisit. And since you'll be by his side, you'll be able to ensure that important points don't escape his attention.</p>

<p>If he doesn't go to the revisit, you'll be in the position of returning and recounting things you heard...not discussing things he saw, heard and felt himself. </p>

<p>So, maybe he will see and hear the same things he picked up at the open house, tour and interview. That didn't exactly take, did it? If he doesn't do the revisit, the uphill battle will be that much steeper.</p>

<p>My husband was like yours. He could only find reasons NOT to send d off to bs. It was hard convincing him. Although we can't do the revisit days, I strongly suggest you take him for all the reasons D'yer Maker has mentioned. Fortunately for me, I got him on board after a dinner we attended. There were many parents there who had kids at bs and the dads talked passionately about their kid's schools..the quality of education,etc.etc. One senior member told my husband never sacrifice a child's education for anything less. He did for one of his children and to this day the guilt remains.</p>