I recently finished a clinical pastoral education unit: combination of honing chaplain skills and self-exploration and growth. The supervisor writes an evaluation that is shared with any supervisors of programs I apply to in the future - and I plan on doing another program.
In the evaluation he refers to an “aha” moment when I was able to make a connection between my being raped anout 35 years ago and some current emotional struggles. His point is valid, but I am really queasy about his referring to the rape. As some of you know I had not shared the fact of the rape until after I first disclosed it to the that group. Im not sure I want any future supervisor knowing about this before ever meeting me. Not that I should bear any shame for the rape but it is embarrassing and part of me feels violated by his discussion of it in my evaluation.
Would you let this go or ask him to be less specific in his evaluation? I have to decide pretty quickly.
There is absolutely nothing wrong in asking him to not divulge the private facts of your life to the public. In some states, “publication” of such information is a tort.
Woah! I have no idea what clinical pastoral education is, but I do know that writing about another person’s sexual assault (or any type of assault for that matter) without their express permission is way over the line, hugely inappropriate, and incredibly insensitive.
I would ask him not to disclose any private information before your consent (this is for the future too). He can easily say you were able to connect previous traumatic experience to your current emotional struggle. Not sure why it is necessary to disclose it was a rape.
Definitely ask him to be less specific. No doubt there is a way to do this diplomatically, i.e., suggesting that you made this revelation only when you were comfortable and will of course share when you are comfortable, but only on a selective basis.
I am appalled that anyone supervising such instruction would be so insensitive as to include that in your evaluation. I would absolutely request the change mentioned above - to a more generic “traumatic moment in your past” - and then it’s up to you when and if you want to go into greater detail.
No matter what the setting or level of confidentiality, something that personal is up to you alone to decide when to reveal.
I think the whole context of including it - both the rape and the current emotional struggles is wrong. I’d insist he exclude it. It strikes me as insensitive, inappropriate, an invasion of you privacy, and unnecessary. I’m sorry you’ve had to experience this.
Wow. It seems that there are many ways to address the constructive, insightful nature of your participation in the program without including the specifics of your personal history. Even broader terms (like past traumas), seem potentially “loaded” to me and it absolutely should be your decision if, how and when personal information is shared.
In reference to a CPE class, the instructor is likely to mention overcoming a traumatic event or emotional struggles. It’s part of the process. One has to work through such issues in order to be able to help others.
But I agree, the breakthrough can be described in more generic terms.
Contact him ASAP, thank him for his detailed evaluation, and then tell him that you prefer a less detailed report for distribution to others. Be specific about what you want changed.
I agree with with everyone else re asking him not to share this information. Also that he should never have put this in an evaluation. The other issue seems to me to be a role confusion between facilitation of personal growth (bordering on group therapy) and an evaluative role as a supervisor. In my profession this would be unethical. If, say, students are required to go through a group experience as part of learning to become a group therapist, the group leader can not be anyone in an evaluative role for the student. The leader would provide feedback to the department that the student had attended all sessions and participated appropriately. That’s it. Additionally, clear boundaries are presented at the beginning of the group - eg group members will maintain confidentiality. Perhaps I’ve misunderstood the situation but the blurring of boundaries between work/education and “personal growth” can leave you very vulnerable, and given what’s happened this time it might be helpful to clarify “up front” what the parameters are so you can make an informed decision about how much to share if you choose to do something similar again.
I think his intent was to acknowledge growth. Part was doing a half-butted job of evaluating an entire year referring only to incidents in the last month. And some passive aggressive response to my pointing out at our last session that some of his jokes and comments to the other woman in the group over the year was inappropriate (the two male students backed me up on this).
My first reaction when I read the evaluation was to feel violated. Rape is very personal. And since I did work through much shame there is a good chance it will not need to be dealt with in another CPE unit. If that is the case there is no need for it to be revealed. Or revealed at an appropriate time.
There is transparency and there is dignity. If he will not retract I have the right to attach a response. In it I will contradict his telling of the story. He stated that a patient encounter led me to bring up the rape. I want it stated that I USED that encounter to relate that I had recognized my issues from having kept the secret. I could have done a verbatim report of ANY patient I had seen that month but chose to use the encounter with the patient who had been raped. He reported it with a negative slant; I want it expressed positively if it must be reported.
“My first reaction when I read the evaluation was to feel violated. Rape is very personal. And since I did work through much shame there is a good chance it will not need to be dealt with in another CPE unit. If that is the case there is no need for it to be revealed. Or revealed at an appropriate time.”
This is a clear violation of your trust. And even more so if you suspect that it is retailation for your early comments.
I would take the copy of your evaluation directly to his supervisors and say just what you say in your second post. This is inappropriate any way you cut it and he needs to be removed from being in such a position for you and/or other women as soon as possible.