Agree with everything. Adding on:
I don’t know anybody…regardless of career or school attended…who did not study a lot for their boards and various certification exams because they believed their particular program provided them with everything they needed.
Maybe they exist, but I have not met them.
I think you’ve remained rather defensive because the advice you’ve been given would require you to let go of your pride and change the way you see your situation. I hope you decide to do that, because you have the opportunity to be a big fish in your pond. Use your smarts to become that big fish—build your medical resume, get close to your professors (who will appreciate a motivated, standout student like you), land exceptional grades, join clubs and lead them. Do the group project by yourself if you have to. Every day you spend knocking it out of the park at your school is one day closer to med school. You may not have had a choice about going to your school but you definitely have a choice about what you do while you’re there. Keep your eye on the prize.
PS—my kid is a third year at a top 15 school and has definitely had loser group projects. That’s a universal experience—in school, at work, in life.
At first glance asking a professor for extra work might seem crazy. However, thinking about this overnight, this is actually a very good idea. There are several things that might come from asking a professor for extra work. One is that you will learn more. Another is that you will get to know your professor. Another is that this might possibly lead to having the professor help you find internship or research or medical shadowing opportunities. Another thing that might come from this (depending upon the grading scale used at your school) is a “+” sign after your A in the class. All of these are good. All of these might help on the long road between now and when they call you “doctor”.
There is generally a shortage of jobs for recent exceptionally strong PhD recipients. This implies that a large number of universities and colleges can attract very strong professors who know their stuff very, very well. You professors will know more than they are going to teach in a freshman year introductory course. If you ask for extra work then they can teach you more.
I think that this suggestion by @WayOutWestMom is something to take very seriously.
By the way, someone I know is a retired university professor. He is also always willing to help out students who ask for extra (even in his current status as professor emeritus).
Professors go into academia because they love their field and they want to share it with others. Most students just sort of show up, do enough work to get an A and move on to the next class. Students who show a real interest in the subject matter beyond the scope of the class are rare, valued and are to be strongly encouraged.
SIL is currently tutoring (for free! on his own time! ) a high school student who contacted him to ask about a summer internship with his research group. Her parents apparently told her to “go learn about quantum computing”. She doesn’t know linear algebra yet so he’s teaching her LA just so she will able to do the computer science problems he assigns her next summer.
The previous HS student SIL tutored turned out to be absolutely brilliant. He later completed his PhD with SIL as his thesis advisor. Although the former student is still in his 20s, his mathematical approach to a certain class of quantum theory problems has become the standard. SIL says this guy has the real potential to be Nobel Prize winner in physics.
(And SIL actually knows what it takes to get one of these high powered awards. He’s co-authored with a least one Fields Medal winner. Plus his own thesis advisor will probably get a Nobel nomination in the next 10 years.)
I think you are missing the point.
This happens everywhere - school, work, and even at home. One has to learn how to manage it, survive in it, and optimize the situation.
Also, most every college has students under challenged. Students can fix that by getting to know profs. Profs are glad to supplement them.
This student feels as if they had to settle. Millions would love to be this student but can’t.
The opportunity is everywhere - but only if they grab it.
There is a maturation process here, an opportunity for the student to learn. And guess what they’ll be asked on a job interview.
Tell me about a time you were in a group, but others didn’t carry their weight. How did you handle it ?
Great job training right here.
Good luck to you.
The solution is not NYU online but I understand the frustration if there’s a vast difference in preparation and motivation. The pace and depth of the materials will differ, too. And it can be incredibly frustrating intellectually and socially.
Guessing you’re not attending a flagship - having the college’s name would help. It’s different if you’re complaining about SUNY Stony Brook or about Farmingdale.
Have you taken Organic Chemistry yet?
Isn’t there another college you can commute to - better academically even if it’s not Cornell - like a SUNY flagship? Or can you transfer to a maybe smaller, less famous university th n Cornell but that’s nevertheless a more rigorous college than your current one and that’s also close to home? Or can you move away now?
If you attended a selective HS in NYS and now attend a university with scores in the 1000s, yes, realistically the difference in academic preparation between your peers and yourself is vast. How did you end up at the college you’re at? Is transferring possible?
Note that you don’t want to attend a college that’s too difficult since it’d make Med School Admission more unlikely, however you want a decent amount of challenge.
The question about how you handled being in a group when others didn’t carry their weight is a good one to have an answer for.
What about the Honors college at your current university - it should offer classes with stronger peers and would likely allow you take take graduate level classes Jr/Sr year.
In the meantime, see if you can join a research lab and help a professor. (Be aware that till they know they can trust you, it’ll mostly be washing out beaker etc, but then if you don’t less up it gets more interesting), ask for extra work so you can go more in-depth, become fluent in a language spoken in NYS (Spanish is useful but Creole is in demand) and get involved with a shelter, a clinic, etc.
If whatever kept you home when you were in HS allows you to go elsewhere now, and if you provide your current GPA and budget, I’m sure we can help you find a better fit.
For anyone who is still interested, I wrote this post when I was going through one of my depressive episodes. They happen often and my mind can wonder to places that aren’t really the most logical, and I do things that I could have done without.
For those who were kind and understanding, thank you. Reading them during that time of extreme sadness and anxiety meant a lot and it’s nice to know that there are people who may see my situation with sympathy. There were not many, but I appreciated the ones that were there.
Also, for those who did take a more ‘truthful’ approach, don’t know why there was such a negative bias for my situation when in others’ similar (lack of motivated students and hard work not paying off) posts they were met with kindness. Maybe I sounded too pretentious, but I sincerely hope that in the future other posters can be given sympathy and kindness. Being called a brat and whiny definitely did not help. However, I will take responsibility for the responses in my post since I asked for honesty rather than sympathy.
Also, reading the comments, people asked if I was doing extracurriculars. I volunteer. I am in clubs. I held leadership positions in my college. I started programs to help students do better in school. Maybe it’s because I didn’t mention it before, but yes, to those still interested, I am a part of clubs and other activities. I didn’t just have the thought of disliking my peers out of nowhere, it happened after countless disfavorable interactions.
My honors college doesn’t offer classes for their students. The only one they offered was a research class. But that went in the dump once my group members quit close to the end date and the advisor dropped the whole project because the class only allowed group projects. I worked 3 semesters on it, only to have it get pulled under the rug.
And yes, the difference is frustrating.
As for why I’m here, after I finished high school, my parents moved cities due to COVID and we realized it would be better if I stayed home.
As for transferring, I’ve thought of many things to help my situation, but nothing seems tangible. I can’t move out because I have too many family responsibilities. The only thing I will do is try to finish my degree and get it over with.
Yes…and look to the future.
Can you speak to current medical students who graduated from your college? That may be helpful.
And I agree that it is best to look toward the future.
Are there no other colleges that you can commute to? Can your parents start finding other people to help them (or a younger sibling step up)? After all Med school will be anywhere in the country - they can’t depend on you to the point you’re tied to home. (Only 40% students get into even one med school and that’s the one they go to - it can be anywhere).
Would your college allow you to take 18 credits a semester?
Wrt project: go talk to the professor. Bring all the work you’d done. Ask what can be done with this, with him/her as your supervisor, indicating you want to see the project to completion even if you work on your own.
Classes that may involve more intellectual or more motivated students: non freshman level classes in math, philosophy, art history, physics, history, classics, and 300/400-level foreign language.
Is your university part of the National Student’s Exchange?
If so, could you go away for a semester? (It could be a dry run for your family, to prepare them for when you move away to med school).
https://nse.org/exchange/find-campus/
Cal Poly SLO, UGA, Iowa State, UMass Amherst, St Olaf, UMN-Twin Cities, University of New Mexico, URI, Western Washington University are all very good choices. And all classes taken there would count toward mee school since they’re all in the US.
We don’t know the school but have you spoken to the pre med advisor? They have one and they have kids who go to med school.
Also, I hope you are working on your mental health issues. I’d surmise they’d be anywhere. I get depressed too - and it doesn’t matter if the situation is good or not good - even on good days, so it is likely deeper than the school.
@MYOS1634 Gives excellent advice.
Med students need to be selfish. They can’t allow anything, not even family responsibilities interfere with their studies. Med school is intense. One simply cannot afford to have distractions. It actually might be best if you attend a med school that’s removed from your current location, just so you won’t be tempted to go home whenever there’s a call for help.
If you don’t have sibling who can step up, are there any other family members nearby who might be able to help your parents out? What about people from your house of worship/faith community?
If there’s still no one, there are some local and state agencies that might be able to help you find caregivers/assistance for your family members. If you can explain what kinds of support your family members need, maybe posters can suggest places that might be able to help.
Please, please, please, get your mental health under control before you apply to med school. Seek out counseling and/or treatment to help you learn to cope better with your depressive episodes. Med school is a pressure cooker where even healthy students get broken.
The #1 reason why people don’t finish med school is mental health issues. The #2 cause of death for med students and medical residents is suicide. An astounding 49% of med students reported symptoms that put them at very high risk of clinical depression. 27% report symptoms severe enough to be diagnosed as clinically depressed.
Does your college offer mental health services? Do you have a counselor/clergy member/support group you can talk to?
Please, take care of yourself first. Med school will be there when you’re ready.
Some pre-med resources:
If you’re from a UiM (Under-represented in Medicine) group, there are special summer programs for student who have fewer than 90 credits.
Special consideration given to first gen college students, applicants from socio-economic or educationally disadvantaged backgrounds, and those who have demonstrated an interest in issues affecting medical underserved populations.
UiM = Hispanic/Latinx/Puerto Rican; black or African American; Native American or Native Alaskan; Indigenous Pacific Islander
Summer Health Profession Summer Programs are a 12 weeks long summer programs that offering mentoring, career advising, and clinical experiences to aspiring future health care providers. Programs are free and provide housing and stipend to those who are accepted.
Hurry. The deadline for applying is Feb 5.
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If you want research exposure and haven’t had the chance at your college. There are several summer programs that will give you a chance to get involved in lab research.
Research Experience for Undergraduates is NSF-sponsored program from rising juniors and seniors. REU offers research opportunities in a variety of different scientific areas and disciplines.
REU sites are located all over the US, plus a few international locations. Each site manages its own application process. You’ll submit a resumé, transcript, LORs and a personal statement to the program director for each program you choose to apply to. Most programs host 10-15 students. Housing plus a stipend are awarded to successful applicants.
Applications are due now. Most sites will close to new application submission by the end of February.
You can search for REU programs by area of study here: Search REU Sites | NSF - National Science Foundation
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The Council on Undergraduate Research hosts a webpage that lists over 600 summer research programs that are open to undergraduates.
Application deadlines vary by programs, but most are due in February.
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The National Institute of Health hosts a Summer Internship Program for undergraduate students.
Students work at the NIH campus in Bethesda, MD or one of the other NIH campuses in MD, AZ, NC or MT. Each location has a different focus and is applied to separately. Students receive a stipend for their service, but must find their own housing.
Applications for SIP are currently open and will close on Feb 19 at noon EST.
LORs are due no later than Feb 26 at noon EST.
Here’s a few more - with just a few more days to apply on the first one - lots of opportunities for OP to try and gain experience and exposure.
@zraisa : please use your college’s resources for mental health, perhaps take an exercise class, and definitely use the resources provided above. 
We’re all rooting for you - please let us know. 
If you read my other posts, you would see that my feelings about my peers did not spawn in the middle of the night out of nowhere. It took multiple negative interactions for me to feel this way. I am not demonizing them. I am merely stating my experiences with my peers which you and everyone else in this post have zero background about.
As for the inferior school, I have multiple reasons for disliking it. The campus feel and look is not what I wanted for my college experience. I worked real hard to get a fighting chance for a top uni where I knew the fit would have been great for me. I knew people I liked in those colleges and I knew those campuses were a great fit for me. However, finances and family (two things I have no control over as you seem to state) got in the way of me being able to attend these colleges. Besides, there were schools that weren’t highly ranked that I wanted to go because I knew it would be a better fit for me but couldn’t. So no, not just an ‘inferior’ school, but many factors at play. And maybe like your daughter I would have been okay with playing group leader (have done so in middle and high school before without complain), but once there are many other reasons for why I am willing do this with less alacrity and more exasperation than others.
And as for the honesty part, honesty does not equate rudeness. All the other posts may have been honest and caused me to dislike what they said initially (once I was more levelheaded I received them better), but I found your one stuck with me the most in a negative way. Perhaps understand why I feel this way instead of raging and jumping to conclusions.
Thank you. You have definitely been very understanding of my situation which I can appreciate. I am on medications currently to help with my stress. I will see what I can do in the future, but I know right now moving out is not an option.
You are certainly entitled to your feelings. I wish you well.