<p>Having the normal teenager aingst around the house that comes with the age and high school years. The other day, my friend, who has finished colleging two kids ask me how things were going with anew rebellious phase and courses in high school. She then said, Oh, did xxx go through her lesbian phase yet? I asked what she meant and she said many teenage girls go through a lesbian identity phase in late high school and early college. I had not heard of this. I have nothing negative about lesbians so please don’t jump on me. I just want to know if this is a common passing phase.
I truly appreciate any help or insight</p>
<p>Umm, as a woman and mother of a female teenager, that “phase” is news to me.</p>
<p>^^Um, what IrishMary said :)</p>
<p>I will add that I learned the phrases LUG (Lesbian Until Graduation) and GUG (Gay Until Graduation) recently; I think experimentation is a little more accepted than it used to be, but I still don’t think it’s commonplace if it’s not your sexual orientation.</p>
<p>Well, there is the Katy Perry song…</p>
<p>I am definitely living under a rock…sounds like something cooked up by some in the teenage male population lol</p>
<p>As a mother of a D who had 6 close friends that called themselves “sisters” and were constantly together, this is news to me.</p>
<p>I haven’t heard of that “phase” either. But I do feel that teenage girls are much more expressive physically and emotionally with each other than in my day. Hugging, holding hands, kissing, and cuddling seem pretty common.</p>
<p>I had to laugh. It happens. Stay cool. It is because, in our day and our mothers’ days, there wasn’t as much pressure to identify or label your sexuality at an early age. There wasn’t as much formalized effort in the high schools to promote “acceptance” of this and that lifestyle. Today, there are nealy always LGBT clubs or gay/straight alliances- but no similar representation for Planned Parenthood, no hs sanctioned clubs to discuss hetero issues. First thing a girl finds herself attracted to another (and we all know that happens, sure) she feels obliged to think about her labels. I told my girls hs is too early to determine your sexual identity. I said, what you decide after some more living is up to you and I will respect it. Who knows how they will eventually decide? They got thru this- actually, forming broad bonds with others of all sorts.</p>
<p>Well actually, where I live it is a common phase, although it seems to happen more late middle school, early high school than anything else. I personally did not, but I had friends who did.</p>
<p>I have a friend whose dd “experimented” in eighth grade. Who knows what that really meant, but she did intercept msgs between her dd and her friends that indicated that sleepovers weren’t all about painting fingernails and pining over Justin Bieber.</p>
<p>“I told my girls hs is too early to determine your sexual identity.”</p>
<p>I don’t think that’s always true. A young girl decides she likes boys it’s labelled as “cute” and no one questions it. If a young girl decides she likes girls, it’s labelled as being “too early.” For some, they don’t develop a sexual identity until later, but many will tell you they knew at a young age. Did you only decide after “some more living” who you were attracted to? At what age do you think is old enough? My kids have close homosexual friends who are very secure with their sexual choice.</p>
<p>Mother of a daughter and I’ve never heard that phrase. Also oldest of four sisters, and none of us went through anything like this… Strange phrasing for sure.</p>
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<p>I don’t know many girls that were flat-out lesbians in college, but I do remember a ton of them that professed to be bisexual in some way or another. Mostly it seems its used as an excuse as to why they’re willing to fool around with both guys and girls when they’re drunk at a party more than anything else. I only knew one girl that had actual serious relationships with both men and women (though since college each time I’ve been in contact with her she’s been involved with guys).</p>
<p>If Kinsey was right, most people are not 10% straight or 100% gay. There is a scale, with those in the middle being bisexual.
Many kids are trying to understand their own sexuality during HS/college years, and often in college it is a first time they can freely do so, and have support groups in LGBT community.</p>
<p>Well, they may label it now, but I bet it isn’t new. I had a girlfriend make a “pass” at me during a sleepover in high school 30 years ago. I was SHOCKED – no idea that lesbian sex even existed, or that this friend might be inclined to it! Turned her down, and it really was the end of that friendship… no more sleepovers, anyway. But two years later she ran off with a boy on prom night and married him; it was hushed up and annulled. No wonder her dad’s hair was prematurely gray. But she married another man a few years later. So was it just a phase? No telling. Just saying there is nothing new under the sun.</p>
<p>Have heard of this from my D who is now in college. It wasn’t exactly commonplace, but it wasn’t unusual either. There was some eye-rolling about some girls who suddenly claimed that they were lesbians, mostly because it was temporary. Seems to be general consensus that it’s not hard to know when it’s for real, and when it’s play-acting to get attention. This was mostly in HS.</p>
<p>Funny that someone mentions Katy Perry. After hearing a glowing review of her new album on NPR last week (and because I find her tunes catchy myself), I decided to watch a couple of videos on YouTube. Gosh, I feel sorry for kids today who are so pummelled with sexualized images. And yeah, some of it promotes lesbianism so it it any wonder that girls, younger and younger, are trying on different sexual roles?</p>
<p>GT, the OP was about temporary identities, a “lesbian phase.” A ms/hs trend in which girls focus their affections on other girls, often excluding boys from their social lives- and dreams. It does not tell what their sexual identity will prove to be. After the fact, it’s just referred to as a “phase” because…that’s all it was. It’s like saying a sports phase or an Emo phase.<br>
The OP wasn’t about “coming out” or learning your child has made a final decision or determination. It’s true that many know their sexuality from an early age. For those who simply are in an intense period of wondering- or playing- yes, IMO, they should be encouraged to take time before final-labelling themselves one way or the other. I think this is an important parental responsibility, just as acceptance and support are.
We have to try to understand the context in which our kids are growing up, experimenting and testing.</p>
<p>“For those who simply are in an intense period of wondering- or playing- yes, IMO, they should be encouraged to take time before final-labelling themselves one way or the other.”</p>
<p>Agreed. I just don’t want those teens who are decidedly gay being told “it’s a phase” and “you can’t know yet.” We don’t say that to those teens who are decidedly heterosexual. It would be a message, despite our honest attempts to be open and accepting, that being gay is outside is “wrong” and takes more thought than being heterosexual. But, I believe people are born one way or another. If my kid comes to me at the age of 10 and tells me he/she is gay, I would take that at face value in the same way if they told me they were interested in the opposite sex. But, I never realized there was a phase. It would certainly explain one of DD’s relationships. I’m not the swiftest on the planet.</p>
<p>YDS - How do you “promote” lesbianism as opposed to “promote” heterosexuality?</p>
<p>Thanks for continued input. I appreciate it very much</p>