<p>My son, a college junior who will be 21 next week, has been taking a medication for the past five years that is incompatible with alcohol. Thus, he has never had an alcoholic drink in his life. And he has felt somewhat left out of some types of social activities at college where alcohol plays an important role.</p>
<p>At a doctor’s appointment yesterday, he was told that it would be OK now to taper off the medication, and he will be able to discontinue it completely within a few months.</p>
<p>The first thing he’s going to want to do when that happens is drink. And I’m concerned about it. He’s so much older than most young people are when they start to drink alcohol that it’s hard to know what to tell him – especially since by the time it’s medically possible for him to drink, it will also be perfectly legal.</p>
<p>What kind of advice would you give a 21-year-old who will be drinking alcohol for the first time?</p>
<p>That doing shots is dangerous and deadly. That after having 3 shots do not pound back 3 more because you don’t feel “drunk”. By the time he gets the buzz he will be so drunk that he will probably not know how many he has already had and be on his way to alcohol poisoning.</p>
<p>I don’t know why shots and hard liquor are so popular and why boys especially think this is what you have to do.</p>
<p>Give him cold hard facts. His friends will be out to get him drunk…they will be on a mission. </p>
<p>Hopefully he has been around enough really drunk people to realize it is not “fun” after a certain point. </p>
<p>If he will listen to you just keep talking and tell him everything you can…if he isn’t going to “hear” you… tell him the above. Drill it into his head.</p>
<p>Marian, I don’t know what medication your son was on, but if it had anything to do with brain chemistry, I think he’s at higher risk for problems with alcohol. In the case of depression, there appears to be damage to the hippocampus, which is also involved with learning and memory. Alcohol also damages the hippocampus, and the adolescent brain is still developing through the early to mid twenties.</p>
<p>Finally, you might PM mini, who works for his state regarding these issues. I think you are VERY smart to be concerned and to take proactive measures.</p>
<p>First, I’d tell him your concerns - just as you laid them out here - and ask HIM how he plans to deal with friends who want to make him drunk right away. Being that he has been dealing with drinking peers for years, he might have more strategies than you think. And this starts a conversation, rather than a lecture.</p>
<p>Make sure he is aware of the irrefutable fact that having more than one drink in an hour will result in him becoming drunk, and that multiple drinks such as shots can easily turn disasterous, as sax pointed out. That he should know how to “nurse” a drink. That drinking until your head spins and you throw up is no fun. That most accidents involving young people are alcohol related.</p>
<p>I know someone who is an epileptic and went off his medication to drink for his birthday. He had an unusual type of seizure and nobody knew what was wrong with him until it was over and he was able to tell us about it. We did not know that he has epilepsy, so it was quite frightening for those around him.</p>
<p>i take a lot of medication and all say ‘dont take with alcohol.’ yet i am a social drinker. i’ve discussed it with the doctor, and basically i am just very cautious. i know that my body wont always react in the same way, and you have to be very careful, and know/trust your body.</p>
<p>Marian, I can imagine you are quite worried. It does sound, however, as if he’s been around drinking. So maybe he has a more respectful view of what alcohol can do than you might think. The fact that he’s had the self control to NOT drink because of the med interaction speaks well of him. Plenty of young kids would have ignored the dangers and bellied up to the keg. A long, thoughtful conversation is called for. Good luck to you. It’s a very scarey scenario, but I really think he’s better prepared than the 17 year old experiencing his first nights of freedom in the dorm.</p>
<p>I know this isn’t the right answer, or the ethical one, but, I’d be tempted to find a way to convince the doctor to call him back in for an office visit, sit him down and explain there’s been a new discovery with the medication, because of lingering effects (insert whatever spin works) it’s been determined that it is not safe to drink alcohol until 20 years after taking the last dose of the medication. Therefore, no drinking until age 41 or thereabouts…</p>
<p>“I know this isn’t the right answer, or the ethical one, but, I’d be tempted to find a way to convince the doctor to call him back in for an office visit, sit him down and explain there’s been a new discovery with the medication, because of lingering effects (insert whatever spin works) it’s been determined that it is not safe to drink alcohol until 20 years after taking the last dose of the medication. Therefore, no drinking until age 41 or thereabouts…”</p>
<p>I hope you’re joking. If not, I thank God your enot my parent. Parents that lie and deceive their children are far more destructive than any beverage could ever dream of being.</p>
<p>“The first thing he’s going to want to do when that happens is drink.”</p>
<p>Did he tell you that? or are you inferring it from something else?</p>
<p>If you are close enough, why don’t you schedule a 21st birthday dinner with him, and have a nice glass of wine together? (In other words, does he have role models of adults drinking responsibly?)</p>
<p>just make sure he doesn’t go crazy on his first night out. its 1 thing for someone who started drinking when they were 16 to handle themselves on their 21st birthday (everyone gets ridiculously slappy on their 21st), its another for someone who’s never drank in his life to go out and get tanked.</p>
<p>One of my concerns is that he does not have such role models because my husband and I don’t drink at all. </p>
<p>I think he is going to want to drink as soon as he is off the medicine because he has expressed regret about not being able to drink many times in the two and a half years that he has been at college. He has felt left out. He may also feel that his father and I cannot advise him because we ourselves don’t drink – and he may be right.</p>
<p>Fortunately, he won’t be off the medicine by his 21st birthday, so the pressure for the big blowout won’t be there. But the time will come when he can drink.</p>
<p>A friend’s daughter who works on rescue squad at her college says kids who mix drinking and pot smoking are at greater risk for alcohol poisoning, because the pot inhibits vomiting.</p>
<p>The first person he should share a beverage with is you, so you can see how alcohol effects him. </p>
<p>Talk about pacing or spacing drinks out. </p>
<p>Does he like girls? ( or boys? no offense intended, different age these days) Ask him how many drunk passed out guys get girlfriends? The girls always go for the guy with the vomit on his shirt and in his hair. :)</p>
<p>His buds want him wasted because it’s one less shark in the pool. </p>
<p>Most kids are going to tune out to life threatening information, because they don’t think it will happen to them. However, they do tune into social advice especially with the opposite sex (or same…whatever) in play. You can tell a kid too many drinks can kill him and they’ll ya, ya, sure, sure while playing a video game. You tell them that there chances of making out or getting a girlfriend dramatically reduce when you’re passed out in the bathtub, they’ll pay attiention. </p>
<p>Small things matter. Big things fall into the what if spot. If he’s been to a function or two, he’s had his eyes open to what works and what doesn’t. </p>
<p>Sorry to confine this to a pursuit of the opposite sex, but let’s be honest, that’s what it is a majority of the time.</p>
<p>I don’t see why you’re concerned - chances are, he’ll be fine. He’s had three years in college to witness drinking/partying from a sober perspective, and I’m sure his friends will help him along. So what if he gets a bit drunk? I don’t understand why parents on this board assume that getting drunk means you’ll pass out in your own puke while getting sexually assaulted. </p>
<p>FWIW, you should advise him to stick to beer. Mixed drinks and shots would be a bad idea for a first night out.</p>
<p>Even though I rationally know that alcohol problems can happen at any time on any day–there is something about that 21st birthday that scares me to death. Maybe it is because those always make the news. When my oldest turned 21, he was going to be out with his gf of several years who was 20 and I knew would “look out” for him. When my second turned 21 (Christmas Eve) she went out with her older brother and I knew that he would keep things under control as he would never let anything happen to his sister. Maybe just talk with him about the “encouragement” he may face even from strangers in a bar on his 21st and ask him to please make sure he is with close friends (if he can’t be with family) and of course has one sober person in the group to watch out and drive if the need be.</p>