DS is a Jr. UW probably 3.5 (although better w/o freshman year), W after this semester should be about 3.6. Hasn’t taken SATs yet (PSATs back this weekend) but guessing 1250ish. Mix of honors/APs/regular courses. Takes both Spanish and Chinese and loves them and does well (almost all A/A+) in both. Fairly significant ADHD that is one cause of lower GPA (hard to get credit for work you don’t turn in!). Teachers do like him, it seems, because he likes to learn for the sake of the subject, not just for the grades. NOT a good test taker, unfortunately.
Decent XCs - 2 or 3 sports/yr - never the best on the team but among the top, but coaches like for positivity. Has run marathons/ultras. Very involved with jewish community and many of his XCs are in that area, but also some leadership, etc at school. Traveled to China alone last summer to go to an immersion experience there.
Really wants a school in New England (loves Boston bc of lots of family there and the Red Sox) - wants smaller (under 5K undergrads), private, good program in languages (would like to learn a few, including keeping up on Mandarin/Spanish), loves history and int’l relations, etc - maybe even a program on Middle East Studies? Must have Study Abroad options, but preferable that its something that is widely done. Will probably take a Gap Year (not sure we will include that info) to work on language (but also to mature a bit).
I’m at a loss for schools that he can get into. I can find ones that are out of his reach that he would LOVE. Any ideas would be appreciated!
A few suggestions but they don’t fit all the criteria but would meet his academic areas of interest and are possibilities for his stats:
UVM and UNH both offer minors or majors in Middle Eastern Studies (bigger than he wishes)
St. Lawrence has Arabic Studies (not New England)
American University doesn’t meet his preferences for New England or size but given his areas of interest, it is worth looking at. DC is a great city to spend one’s college years.
Consider Holy Cross if you’d be ok with a Catholic (Jesuit) school. It would be a reach, but not wildly out of reach for his stats. The size and location are about right. They seem to have a pretty good Chinese program. Brandeis might be another possibility but is even more selective. Less selective schools in New England with decent Chinese (/ Arabic) programs are likely to be larger. So you may need to relax your criteria for size/location.
If you’re willing to consider larger schools in DC, check out George Washington (as well as American U, as suggested above.)
@emilys29 UNH and UVM would both be good choices on many points. Chinese and Middle Eastern classes would probably have small classes because they would be more niche by nature. UVM is a public ivy and UNH is not far off IMO. UNH also has the National Student Exchange.
Also @emilys29, this is important is you visit UNH and UVM especially with his ADHD. Do not go on one of those special prospective student days. They are a chaotic zoo and do not reflect the school. Go on a regular school day but make arrangements ahead of time to meet with professors in the Middle Eastern, Chinese and IR departments. UNH is near Porstmouth which is a fun little city. Stay there if you can. And Burlington is nice too.
Edit PS. I don’t think that you are going to be able to get much smaller than UNH and UVM and still have good opportunities in those fields of interest. They are just big enough to support the majors and some related activities.
Thank you! This is really helpful. I’m not sure he has a focus in Middle Eastern over other areas like Chinese or IR - but still hard to tell. But I understand what you mean about the bigger schools and their resources/majors. He might have to do more of a gov’t/IR type major and just take language classes also (or take advantage of study abroad). I think he is pretty set on a smaller school - has always done better with smaller groups and knowing the people on campus, etc.
If he is mostly focused on government but also wants to take Chinese courses, any NE ideas that might fit also? Thanks so much. My husband and I both went to Connecticut College, but for a few reasons, not sure that will be the best fit for him (although still on the table). We live in California but he is pretty set on NE/East Coast.
@emilys29 Just an update on Conn College. It’s not easy to get into. Much harder than the 80s. Let me think about Chinese and small.
@MYOS1634 Let’s bring in expert help.
@emilys29 Dickinson College in PA if he does ED might be possible. Skidmore in NY maybe, maybe possible ED.
I agree Holy Cross would be a great choice, thought it’s probably a bit of a reach. It’s in Worcester, which is a commuter train ride to Boston. Maybe also Clark University, also in Worcester. Maybe also Saint Michael’s, which is just outside of Burlington, Vermont, a great college town. I don’t know about the language programs at these either.
You might check out Dickinson College as well. It’s in a small town in a fairly rural area in PA. Campus is beautiful. It’s very strong in political science; I know less about languages. It’s a quality LAC though.
You are considering a gap year. Is he/are you confident he can handle the demands of college? One of mine had similar struggles in high school. College was a challenge. Much more of the work is done outside the classroom. Students have to be motivated to do this work. There is less forgiveness for late work, and zeroes wreck a student’s GPA. I’ve known several students in recent years who’ve fallen behind early in the semester and then just given up, not going to class or doing any work for months. Is he resilient? Will he work hard to overcome a disappointing test result or a few missed classes/assignments.
Does he play a lot of video games or spend an extended time on social media? These can also be a significant obstacle to success. I’ve also seen several students just spend their time online and not do any significant college work.
I just raise these questions because I know from experience that hoping for a good outcome is not the best approach. Poor performance can result in an expensive failure. It can then be harder for a student to get back on track or to transfer to a comparable school.
I just suggest that you and your son consider very carefully his readiness and his willingness to work hard all semester, to do the reading, and turn in all assignments.
One idea for a Gap Year: The Grand Canyon or another national park open year round. Concessionaires like Xanterra staff hotels, shops, and restaurants in the parks. They often provide subsidized housing, so a student is not totally on their own in terms of getting an apartment, etc. Getting out in nature can be great for medical issues like ADHD. Just an idea.
Also, all schools will have counselors who work with students with learning issues. I suggest your son get in touch with them before arriving and get a program arranged ahead of time, instead of waiting until he runs into difficulties (if that is the case). I’d say the same thing about getting tutors. Often tutors are available, especially for science classes. It can be a great advantage to use them from Day 1. After all, you’re paying for them. Good luck!
Thank you! Excellent advice on all fronts - I truly appreciate you taking the time to answer in such depth! Love your Gap Year idea - will suggest it to him as an option, although I think he is hoping to figure out some sort of international program - but mixing a few would probably be wise. Lots of reasons for Gap Year for him, but partially because he could use the emotional maturity that an extra year brings (esp with ADHD). He is actually pretty motivated - especially when he loves a class - and is the type to stop in for office hours, develop strong relationships with professors, etc - he just needs a system for remembering to actually turn int the work once he has done it! 
But couldn’t agree more about finding someone to work with him from before he even steps foot on a campus - that will be KEY!
For those of you suggesting Davidson, THANK YOU! Had heard of it but hadn’t considered it, but now that I’m briefly glancing at the website, definitely a place to have him research. This was exactly what I was hoping to find - so huge thanks to anyone (and keep 'em coming)…
^*Dickinson??? <- Better fit for his stats. Davidson is a selective LAC in NC but there also could be good southern options.
Still probably more good possibilities @MYOS1634 @Lindagaf @NEPatsGirl
Ha! Meant to say Dickinson - was looking at their website. Davidson is where Steph Curry (of our hometown Warriors) went, so somehow that got stuck in my head.
Dickinson has a very international bent. Good suggestion.
Clark University, in Worcester. Ticks most boxes. A train now goes right to Boston in an hour. Perfect size, socially aware students, and his grades are fine for it. Has Chinese, Hebrew, Spanish FL offerings. Has an international studies major, not sure if that’s the same as IR.
Emerson, in Boston, more media focussed though, I believe. Franklin and Marshall, Lancaster PA, is a possibility, probably a reach, but not unreachable. Really nice vibe, a bit on the sporty side. Love Dickinson. Gettysburg might also be worth considering.
Your son definitely needs to consider NY. Plenty of good, realistic options. Union, Sienna, Ithaca College, Syracuse, and Hobart & William Smith could all be possibilities. If he gets a really good SAT or ACT, that will help him. His current GPA limits his choices, and when your choices are limited, it means sacrificing something on the wish list. He needs to decide what he can live without. As an example, my kid immediately sacrificed location on her wish list when she realized that her ideal schools were reaches. Many kids want to be near a city, but the truth is that most of the time, students spend their time in campus, where food, friends, and dorms are. Living in the city actually ends up being pricey. Students can easily get through a lot of cash if their school is in an urban location. Lots of temptations. In contrast, when the college puts on a lot of free or cheap activities, and there aren’t s many places to spend money, students can get by on suprisingly little cash. Worth considering.
^He would have to become a Yankees fan.
Yeah, that would be a total deal breaker. He told me when he was 7 that if they somehow put him on the Yankees for his Little League, he wasn’t playing. But he would be in heaven being amongst Yankees fan if he can talk smack!
He can always be a Mets fan.
But, I do think he’d find other Red Sox fans in Upstate NY.
Middlebury.
Depending on why you might be resistant to Connecticut College for him (in terms of whether your reservations extend to similar colleges), I’d recommend you research the programs at Wheaton.
Middlebury is a good match from an academic interest perspective but would be a real reach admissions-wise.