<p>I know there’s really nothing I can or should do about this but I’m concerned anyway. My son has barely been on campus for a couple of weeks and he already sounds serious about a girl he met the first few days he was there. Am I wrong to be concerned that this is exactly what he doesn’t need at a time when he should be exploring different friendships, activities and seeing what and who else he might want to meet? How common is this? Luckily he does talk to us, but what he is saying I am not so happy to hear. He does acknowledge that it is all probably too fast but also that the girl is great. She might be a wonderful person, but I can’t help but worry. Should I say anything or be quiet? He’s not defensive and is usually willing to discuss things. Thanks.</p>
<p>I don’t see what’s wrong with that.</p>
<p>Lol this thread should be retitled: “new parent of college student, new girlfriend. Too involved in son’s life?”
No offense meant, of course. I understand why you’re worried. But if your son is not having issues with his classes or other things, then you should be happy for him. What are you unhappy to hear? Do you wish he didn’t have a girlfriend? He’s out of the house for good now…you can’t stop him. If the rest of college is going well, good for him!</p>
<p>Could be worse–could have found a new boyfriend–not that there’s anything wrong with that. Relax. He might just marry her so you better be nice.</p>
<p>As long as the sex is good, what’s the problem? ;)</p>
<p>You got the worry license when he was born, so there’s no sense in telling you not to use it.</p>
<p>It seems to be a rule: they get a gf/bf at the most inconvenient time, and then they break up with them during finals or at some other time that messes with their grades. </p>
<p>I think that both of my kids discovered sex their freshman year along with “true love.” The true love didn’t last, of course. Our worry won’t do any good, of course!</p>
<p>my friend had a bf w/ in 2 hours of entering her pre-college program(she was going into the college the following fall but it was a special program…for accepted students)</p>
<p>I think parents know far too much about their kids’ life in college. Life was simpler when there was only one payphone per dormitory floor, and students were not any more eager to write home than they are today.</p>
<p>I have a theory to explain the sudden infatuation…
and it might be sex, but I could be wrong, but suddenly having a relationship without having to deal with mom and dad, well it happens ALOT at college</p>
<p>it that is what is going on…I am taking a wild stab at it…</p>
<p>it will last or it won’t, he will mess up or he won’t</p>
<p>at least he is talking to you, read some other posts, some sons don’t ever call home</p>
<p>so don’t fret, it is natural, and this is when they figure stuff out, friends will still be there to be made</p>
<p>Wait for when he starts telling you about the group sex…;)</p>
<p>…and the naked parties.</p>
<p>It’s amazing how many wedding announcements in the Sunday NY Times style section include lines like “they met on their first day as freshman at Yale”. The betrothed are usually in their late 20s, so I don’t know if they’ve been exclusive since day one, and how well that bodes for their future life together.</p>
<p>At any rate, if your son is doing well academically and happy, I wouldn’t worry too much.</p>
<p>And mini, don’t you have daughters? :eek:</p>
<p>Yup…and?</p>
<p>I don’t want to hear about any of it!</p>
<p>Of course I have nothing against him having a girlfriend, it’s the timing and intensity that gave me pause. It’s just whether or not I should even try to mention it as in, you know it might be smart to kinda take things slowly blah blah blah. There’s no law about giving advice to our kids just because they are over 18, right? </p>
<p>It just sounds as if the two of them are joined at the hip already, no pun intended and yes it sounds as if it might be to the exclusion of other things right now. I guess I’m just nervous because I don’t know how something like this might affect him as he is supposed to be gearing up for academics. Once things are “serious” it’s probably a useless exercise to say anything at all but I’d be happy to hear any other thoughts or experiences with something like this.</p>
<p>Worrying is wasting your time since you have no control over what he’s doing and have no idea how things will turn out with the girlfriend and his studies.</p>
<p>When I went to college, I know people who did meet freshman week and dated for a long time. Some even got married. Others moved on while still in college. It’s all part of the college experience that many of us went through ourselves. </p>
<p>My thoughts are that you’re fortunate that he’s comfortable enough with you to share that he has a new girlfriend. I also think that his behavior is less worrisome than the many males and females who think that going to college means a license to have serial sex partners.</p>
<p>There’s a lot of people who meet “The One” or someone whom they date for a long time during the first week of college. I know people who are engaged who met during that time period.</p>
<p>I met and started dating my fiance during the first month of college. We’ve been together 6 years now. I actually went into college wanting to be single for my freshman year to explore life as a single woman. However, things change when you meet someone that can challenge your world thoughts and make you a better person. </p>
<p>Also, we have mutual friends who started dating a few weeks before we started dating. They just got married in June. </p>
<p>Things will work out how they work out. As long as there are other friends in the picture, I wouldn’t worry too much! :)</p>
<p>
So true. I wrote my parents a postcard about twice per quarter. Calls cost too much back then.</p>
<p>I knew a couple in college who started dating really early on, and I think it was a coping mechanism for both of them. It was a way of dealing with all the stress of being a freshman. They leaned on each other a lot during that time. I don’t think there’s much wrong with that, necessarily, though I understand the concern that son might not be exploring other activities as widely as he might.</p>