<p>^^Yes. Please do this. Then come back and tell us you did it.</p>
<p>I sold my mother’s house AS IS. </p>
<p>I listed it about $18,000 less than the comparable homes on the market. In suggesting the listing price, the Realtor took into account the repairs and renovation the house truly needed: a new roof, new flooring and a fresh coat of interior paint throughout. </p>
<p>Our buyer was willing to do all the fixing up in exchange for a low price, and I was relieved of the task of doing the repairs myself.</p>
<p>Your buyer may also jump at the chance to buy your Mom’s house for less and do the repairs themselves, if the price is attractive enough. </p>
<p>CTmom, we were on the other end of a deal like that, as the buyer. We estimated how much the repairs would cost, and offered list price minus our estimate, “as is.” We beat out 3 other bidders, because of exactly what you said – the seller was tremendously happy not to have to hassle with doing the repairs herself. It considerably expedited closing too (Dharma: hint). </p>
<p>I have to admit I am getting very frustrated. I told you about the buried oil tank and potential issues a MONTH ago (Sept 1, post # 4435 in the other parents caring for parents thread). And don’t you live right there? Many houses still have underground tanks. Yours may not, but many do, and its pretty well known amongst people who live in the area. Surely the realtor also mentioned it. That was common for homes built in the 40’s.<br>
FOCUS.
It seems at some level that the constant digressions to minutae or lower priorities are going to set you up for a self fulfilling prophesy. Maybe at some deep level you want to take your mom into your home and try to heal old wounds… Just a thought.</p>
<p>^That is what it seems like to me, too.</p>
<p>If you want to take Mother into your home for end of life care, I respect that decision. But make that decision. Then someone can give you a list that helps you get there asap.</p>
<p>If you don’t want to take Mother into your home, get busy with Cardinal Fang’s list.</p>
<p>I will get busy with Cardinal Fang’s list. But as you know, oil tank repairs if needed must be done by the seller. jym626, I’m sorry I missed your post opt forgot/ about the buried oil tank - that would have saved time. Sorry, I feel really bad about that. </p>
<p>I worked with the instructions and it worked!</p>
<p>
[quote]
- Fire Barbara. Period, end of sentence. Done.
- Tell the social worker at the nursing home that mom needs a placement in assisted living (or a nursing home placement) and let the social worker help with that. This is no longer about what your mom would LIKE, it is about reality. The reality is that two months of fiddling around has left her with fewer options. Deal. As soon as a place is presented to you, write the check. Assume that the house WILL close on time. Don’t let the future worry of what might or might not happen three months down the line deter you.
- Tell the real estate agent that the house must be sold, quickly. Do not explain why, provide spreadsheets, or otherwise get involved in the details. That is why you are paying the RE agent a commission. Let her earn it.
[/quote ]
</p>
<p>What I want to say is, I MADE these decisions today and they will GO INTO EFFECT asap. I made that clear. I am going to talk it all over in detail with the SW when she is free tomorrow (length of NH stay, AL placement), after the oil tank inspection.</p>
<p>There is one thing I will accede to, I could have taken $15,000 less off the selling price because of the septic against my paying $4,250 to have my team do the job, but they will do it soon and I will not get ripped off. </p>
<p>What I can’t understand is why you all get so mad at me and continue to post to me. I DO want you to post to me. Please don’t all jump on me at once if a dozen people already have, please. I get the message. And please, don’t suggest I have an underlying desire to have my mother in my house. </p>
<p>arabrarb, your advice was essentially identical to Cardinal Fang’s and I am following it. </p>
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<p>Dharma the car accidents and the illness are because you are anxious and worn down. </p>
<p>Digression: I’m a lawyer. Sometimes you get a client who walks in the door with a case worth say $75,000. Then the other side calls and wants to settle for $60k. My advice? Do it. Truly it is not worth the years of time and agony to go thru litigation for that extra money. The same applies whether it is a car accident, a divorce, or the situation you are in. Yes, you can stretch it out and do stuff yourself and eek out a bit more but you are killing yourself doing it. </p>
<p>I think the buyers are offering $15k less and believing $5k for the tank, but leaving wiggle room for the septic field and other potential issues, the unknowns. For some sellers that would be a deal, others not, but I don’t see it as sneaky. If you ca get the fix done fast enough, then you save that $5k. It may be possible that the oil tank needs work and you sell as is with a credit back to the buyer and let them make the repairs? Save time, get closed, get the cash. Maybe. I don’t know the rules on that.</p>
<p>DW- it does appear that people are repeating themselves, but it is because we all have come to care about you and what happens and we sometimes see posts from you that seem to be oblivious to what others have posted. Like the oil tank post a month ago from Jym, I recall that, but you are so overloaded, so overwhelmed by dealing with your Mom that you simply are not processing all input (like the fender bender) We are all worried about what this stress is doing to you. </p>
<p>Please follow CFs instructions and please take good care of yourself and your family (DH & kids)</p>
<p>No one meant to suggest you should reduce the price by $15K. That was an example.</p>
<p>What was meant was this;: Gather estimates of all work that needs doing. Deduct the work that must, by law, be done by the seller. Add up the rest. Offer to take that amount off the price, if the seller will agree it doesn’t have to be done by you before the sale. You pocket the same amount, and save the time and hassle of doing the work. </p>
<p>Experts here: Does Dharma have any recourse against a buyer who is dawdling? Can she entertain other offers from buyers who are more motivated to move the thing along? I’m a little disturbed that the buyer’s agent doesn’t return calls.</p>
<p>She needs to ask her realtor. It may vary by state. If there is no accepted offer or counter pending I think she could keep looking for buyers. </p>
<p>I am confused. You’ve been talking about the buried oil tank, well not since I brought it up a month ago, but at least since Sept 22 in this thread when you and I discussed it and you posted several updates (and there was a large gap between when you stopped posting in the old thread on Sept 4 and resumed here on Sept 18). It cant be such a surprise… It just can’t. These are the major things that must be completed to sell the house. Focus on making it happen. I hope it passes the soil test tomorrow (and that is a MUCH invasive procedure than the tank test my (*&_)#$)%& realtor allowed to be done). Because if it fails, And PLEASE LISTEN, the state will assign a spill number to the property and will not remove it until the required remedy is complete and they retest. And they don’t always move at the pace you want them to. And it is extremely unlikely any mortgage co will close when there is an open spill # on the property. There is plenty of info on the web about Spill response and remediation in NY but DO NOT RESEARCH IT at this point. JUST WAIT.</p>
<p>I think Dharma does not actually have a contract with the buyer (who is just an interested potential buyer at this point, if he has not made any earnest money deposit).<br>
This is what she has posted recently about it (bolding is added by me):</p>
<p>post 143 (9/24)
</p>
<p>post 199 (9/30)
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<p>So-- it seems to me that Dharma can certainly entertain any offers that may come-- and better offers may indeed come if the price is dropped! But of course you should not do anything until after the oil tank is inspected and you know what you are dealing with. Hopefully the interested “buyer” will hurry up and make a proper offer with a deposit after the oil tank inspection-- assuming all goes well. If not, consider dropping the price and seeing what other offers come.</p>
<p>Good luck tomorrow! A lot seems to ride on that oil tank clearing inspection.</p>
<p>Whether it does or doesn’t, make sure Mom goes on to AL after the NH, not home! </p>
<p>I was surprised, when we sold my dads house in that same state, that the actual signed contract with earnest money didnt happen til later in the process.</p>
<p>Tell the realtor to drop the list price $15K. That should shake other buyers out of the woodwork.</p>
<p>Somermom, I am not a crier (until the three recent outburst [practically in public) but your post brought “normal tears” to my eyes. I needed someone to touch me with some sympathy and understanding…but writing that makes me feel absurd and egotistical. Please take it as it was intended, in the best way.</p>
<p>Somehow the response I wrote to the text or arabarb got lost, but it was lucky it was, because I went into too much detail. Simply, it explained how when my sister was born, taking care of a baby and a 5 year old was" too much" for my mother and they “shipped” me to an abusive aunt (beatings, punishments, forced to kneel and say the rosary) for 10 months, 3 hours away. It was, I think, 1962) I should have been in kindergarden but stayed home/ Every afternoon my cousin and her best friend could get together and torture me. Of course, I never told anyone.</p>
<p>My parents brought me back about 3 days before first grade started. That is the starting point of how my childhood of neglect rolled along until I had the willpower and the scholarship and the savings from my job to enroll in Bard College, which saved my life. They wanted me to go to a Catholic college.I am surprised that I put up enough of a fierce fight that they allowed me to go to Bard. Most of the time I am perfectly healthy and normal. with anxiety that fits into the normal parameters. Some of my girlfriends surprise me as describing me as “composed” which surprises me because my mind is so active/busy. But on the phone with payroll (I found and they corrected three mistakes), the bank, the various companies involved–with ANYONE-- I am focused and informed and professional. But indeed I have something close to “analysis paralysis.” It manifests at times, like now when my mother is in the foreground or the background. </p>
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<p>Somemom, your advice above may be VERY useful to know. I know it sounds like I have been swinging crazy thoughts about family loans, but ( I dread to say this) if the oil tank is found to be leaking, the estimated repair is between $20,000 - $30,000 and we may need to ask family members to step in. Remember, everyone will be paid back on the closing. The oil tank director told me PLEASE do not concentrate on a "worse case senariop. Very wise words I should adopt as a living motto.</p>
<p>I hope this helps explains how I am going to foliow through with the expedient demands of NH/AL placement; and deal efficiently and effectively, without distractions on the sale of the house and correct the issues necessary to the “health and safety” of the house as my realtor puts it . I want to keep my friends here and continue (I hope you do) to continue to have faith and hope for me - and scold me for going off the deep end. </p>
<p>jym626, I do feel particularly bad for missing your warning about the oil tank and not followed through because you have been a consistent follower whose remarks I should have immediately attended to. Some distraction or event must have occurred…thank you for sticking with me. </p>
<p>CTmom, you wrote while I was posting . We certainly do not have contracts, and the house is on the open market for $250,000/. (Despite the septic and oil tank problems which will be soon addressed, my realtor says someone may happen along and offer $250,00/ With the present bidder, we have agreed at 230 with septic/oil tank fixes, whatever discoveries are made/ </p>
<p>Thank you for the good wishes tomorrow , CT mom!</p>
<p>I asked the realtor a few days ago if it were time to lower the market price of the house ad she said no.</p>
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<p>Do you have a signed contract, or not? If you don’t have a signed contract, you don’t have an agreement.</p>
<p>If you are anticipation 20-30K in tank repairs you ARE thinking worst case scenario. Really. Stop. Our remedy was inexpensive. We had tank insurance (are you sure you dont?) so we only had to pay the deductible and then the cost of a new tank in the basement, IIRC.</p>
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<p>That’s absolutely right. Good that you are open to other offers. </p>
<p>We didn’t dilly-dally when we bought our house. The house went on the market on a Thursday morning; we saw it the same evening. Friday morning we made a written offer with earnest money deposit. A few back and forth counter offers by phone, and on Saturday the contract was signed by both parties. Of course we had inspection and mortgage contingencies.</p>
<p>I’m just saying…do you think this buyer is serious? I think perhaps you will know, if he doesn’t make a written offer after the tank passes inspection. </p>
<p>Yea #274, Dharma!!! You learned to quote properly!</p>