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<p>This is what I’m a little concerned about. At this stage, where there’s no contract yet, seems to me a truly interested buyer and his agent would return calls and emails immediately. </p>
<p>And that is why I think the listing price should be reduced. If this buyer doesn’t want the house, someone must be found to buy the house, pronto. </p>
<p>Dharma, so did you let Barbara go?</p>
<p>To answer at random, no, as I Said we do not have a signed contract.</p>
<p>No,I called my mothers home insurance and she does not have tank insurance.</p>
<p>I put Barbara on the train on Tues but havent spoken to her. I need the SW workers assurance that they can send my mother directly from the NH to AL confidentally before I talk to b
Barbara, but I know the SW will find a place (the SW doesnt know or has forgotten about Barbara.) I hope the place in Carmel can/will take her. When the SW was talking to her financial director on the phone when I was in the home, she referred to my mother as a "potential"long term placement.I know there is a studio opening in Nov at The place ten minutes away definitely in November. When I know for sure–today or tomorrow–I will call Barbara. She knoes my mother may be in the NH for at least a wk and after this job she is going back to Poland to setttle her fathers affairs (he died last year.)</p>
<p>Tank insurance is through a separate, private agency that handles this kind of insurance. it is not through homeowners.</p>
<p><a href=“Underground Storage Tanks (USTs) | US EPA”>Underground Storage Tanks (USTs) | US EPA;
<p>We had this insurance:
<a href=“http://proguard.■■■■■■■■■■■■■/”>http://proguard.■■■■■■■■■■■■■/</a></p>
<p>When you let barbara go, if heaven forbid you need some short term care, this can be hired out. I would advised against the companyy ou used unless they have daily placement that will NOT incur another finders fee.</p>
<p>Ps Barbara of course went home to Brooklyn - she is not at my mothers. it is unfortunate for her financially,but of course we cant pay her for the days she isnt here.</p>
<p>By the way, some oil companies sell the tank insurance as part of their annual contract. Check with your oil company to see if you have it on your home and/or your moms home. It is WELL worth the money. Above ground tanks can leak too. Get the insurance.</p>
<p>Some procure tank insurance via solicitations from their oil delivery/heating system maintenance company. They are not the tank insurers, but may know if their customers purchased it or be able to direct you to any companies they have advertised or suggested to their customers over the years so the insurance status can be confirmed. </p>
<p>Also, regarding the SW: the reality is that your mother needs appropriate placement immediately post-discharge. The fact that she once had home care is not relevant. That is no longer feasible, so no worries to be focusing solely on her present needs for a sustainable aftercare placement. </p>
<p>If rehab or any nursing assessments from AL suggest that she MAY wind up as or indeed IS a more appropriate nursing home candidate, then have rehab discharge planner propose options for both AL and NH, or just a NH if indicated, and lock down what emerges as the right care level so that there is no chance that she has no place to go. I would not emphasize what happens next with mother, let her “just” do the rehab and then, with help from the SW there, walk her directly to the best option. </p>
<p>Hope all goes well with the tank today. Glad the SW is there to help with placement. An extra set of hands is a good thing! </p>
<p>The oil tank insurance is an annual policy that must be renewed each year.</p>
<p>Sorry jym626, cross posted on the oil co. info. </p>
<p>No worries</p>
<p>Thank thou for the info jym626; too bad at this point it is too late for my mother’s house but I WILL show this to my husband. We have our tank in the basement. </p>
<p>I left two voice mails early this morning, one to the SW at the NH telling her the Director of the AL 10 minutes away said she had a room available in November. I told her we would like, if possible, to make arrangements to send Adele there. If she has to come home for two weeks or so, a friend in Brooklyn sent me the number of an agency that can send women immediately for a few days. She said they are all great ladies from Ghana. The agency takes care of all the kind of record keeping I was doing for Barbara. Of course now I have to undo all that but I have all the phone numbers and papers carefully saved. </p>
<p>And I left a voice mail with the Director of the AL telling her what I left in my message for the SW and that if the SW agreed–if a plan could be settled (possibly involving temporarily a woman from Ghana) I wanted to put down a deposit on the studio. I told them I wanted to talk today and move asap on plans. From what I reported above, in her phone call to the financial adviser, the SW referred to “long term care” for Adele, which might be 30 days, which would be ideal. These two woman know each other well and have worked with many placements in the past.</p>
<p>The septic is a problem, and in an effort to move things more quickly, I wrote early this morning an email to my husband and the realtor about how to move faster but that my thoughts were still in the thinking stage. It depends on my husband agreeing with me. Will reveal later.</p>
<p>Dharma, have the SW find a place near you. You will seriously regret it if you let her live an hour away. Please please trust me on this. Tell Mom she could have had the place of her choosing of she hadn’t insisted on the caregiver door, but she did. Now her options are more limited.</p>
<p>Agree proximity is going to be quite important now and over time. Others have posted the same, based on experience.</p>
<p>I meant “caregiver detour.” That was Mom’s choice, as her shrink, attorney, etc pointed out. Here, we unanimously and emphatically advised against it. We foresaw that no good would come of it, and that it would rapidly drain her funds. That is exactly what has happened. I hope you now clearly understand that Mom does not make good choices. I hope you also now clearly see that when we’re all “yelling” at you, you really really really need to listen. </p>
<p>She had her shot at running the show. Now you are running the show. That means her whims are no longer relevant. You choose based on what’s smart, and what works for you. An hour away is not smart, and it does not work for you. </p>
<p>I’m begging you to listen. As she declines – and she WILL decline – you will need to be at her AL much more than you think you will. Everyone here will confirm that. You are going to create another big unnecessary problem for yourself if you again bend to her wishes. </p>
<p>The comment about “caregiver detour” is very relevant to my friend’s parents. Her father needs 24/7 care as it is right now. Her mom is not willing to give it, and has abandoned him on occasion for more than six hours. They have a HHA stop by occasionally, maybe once per week.</p>
<p>Yet her mom twice put her dad in a home, and within a day took him out of it. In one case, it was $20,000 deposited that they had to fight to get back (they did get it back, because her mom told the nursing home that <em>they</em> would get in trouble if they found out he was admitted to a locked ward without a dementia or Alzheimer’s diagnosis). The lack of decisiveness of her mother, and the complete refusal to let either my friend or her sister intervene is heartbreaking.</p>
<p>Has anyone had positive experience with getting a POA to help handle such a situation? Could anything but a POA or intervention from outsiders help?</p>
<p>Ten minutes away is good! Securing that spot is also a very good idea. Just as the AL told** you** that the the studio will be available in November, they may very well have told other families the same thing. Their priority will be filling the spot, and I would think it’s “first come, first served.”</p>
<p>My mother lives very close by and I cannot believe how often I have to go over to deal with things, apart from the need she has to see me. If she lived even half an hour away I would find it burdensome. So do all you can to keep her close by!</p>
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<p>Dharma, this is an example of a digression that is not moving things forward. I don’t understand what the realtor is to make of this email, and she won’t either. What is the action item for her?</p>
<p>Here’s an example of an email that has action items for the realtor:</p>
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<p>Forget the backstory. Focus on the few real steps needed. </p>
<p>CTmom, we found it a hassle to go 25 minutes to MIL’s place. It wasn’t just the social visits or errands, DH also had to take her to docs, sit in ER on occasion, couldn’t easily get home to pick up a kid or go to a game or return a library book. When they had events we wanted to attend with MIL, it all had to follow their schedule and was a major chunk of time. An hour total for the driving alone. Willingly choosing a place an hour away means two hours drive, plus any traffic or weather, plus the “there” time. </p>
<p>People think the closer homes mean you’ll always be there. But it can be easier to consolidate various tasks. You can get them to a morning doc appt, have lunch at the facility, then be home. In contrast, DH would have to drive, then back to the doc, then back to her place, then lunch, then drive home. You go the distance and the staffer isn’t free to speak with you. You have to come back. Etc.</p>
<p>Oh good, 10 minutes away. I missed that (this is what happens when I try to catch up before work!) Excellent, Dharma! You’ll thank yourself, believe me.</p>