<p>I don’t know what “timetable” you say I mentioned, dharma. No recall of that. Only thing I may have mentioned is whaty happens if there is a spill and the state shs to assign a spill number. takes time for that to happen and get cleared after the final soil sample comes back clean from the lab.</p>
<p>Just googled “writing addiction” and was very disappointed that there is no one term for this. It is listed under “behavioral addictions.”</p>
<p>My husband, in this tiny town, compulsively locks the cars when I never do. Imagine using your hand to grope and find the place to insert the key. Then imagine groping at your mother’s front door to find the place to insert the key. Many, many minutes. </p>
<p>Nothing on my mother’s lenghty list was in the location she told me. Sadly, another example of her decline because she used to be flawless at this. Luckily, my guardian angel was with me, because in unlikely places (imagine opening every drawer, cupboard, closet, medicine chest, ) I found everything on her list. </p>
<p>Took the dog out for her lengthy routine. Pondered over how I had no impatience in waiting for the dog, in contrast with my mother’ needs, felt vey guilty and wrong . Years ago, when I contributed to urbanbaby.co (how to prepare your newborn for Harvard), I posted, after a particulary difficult Thanksgving dinner, when my mother delivered to , my husband, a s I was prepairng to dive her home, a vicious “dressng down” and the incident behind it wa s innocent and absolutely trivial, by most peoples’ observations, not even an incident at all.</p>
<p>A mother of a one year old and troubled, I asked Urban Baby, “Why do I love my dog more than my mother”?</p>
<p>The answers poured forth, simutamiously obvious and inisightful. It ignitedd a big discussion. Women wrote how your dog loves you unconitionally, make no demands or ha s amy expectionsssss,etc. Much said in contrast with a parent, no need to elaborate. </p>
<p>Believe me. I am not undeestimatmg my obligations due tp a parent whp raisssed me from an infant.</p>
<p>Sorry fpr tje typing. Tomorrow I am gpomg tp thet A[pple store fo r a new keybordd/</p>
<p>Hearing aids: my grandfather used to remove his when my siblings and I went to visit because we made too much racket. Maybe your mom is just reacting to more noise than she is used to and that doesn’t seem worrisome to me. She can put them back on when she wants. As soon as they are replaced. Some days I’d like to turn off my ears for a short break.</p>
<p>Didnt you say you were raised for some time by another relative- an aunt? Or was that another poster?</p>
<p>alh, that is what my mother describes, but over our phone conference on Wednesday–the SW sounded a touch angry–she said she will keep the new ones when we get them under “lock and key” as she put it and make my mother keep them in all day until bedtime when a staff member will put them back in their safe place. It is hard to know what to to think/do about that. The warranty ($500) is only good once, the audiologist explained, and if she loses the new pair, the next pair would be $4,000. Yes, the noise does bother her sometimes. Hearing aids it seems are far from perfect.</p>
<p>jym626, what you are remembering is when I wrote about how at age 5, when my sister was born in October, I was sent to live with my mother’s sister in NJ because having a newborn and a 5 yr old was “too much” for my mother. They made a mistake in never "making up a relieving story " to explain it to me - nothing was explained, not even whether I was ever going home, and I don’t think they ever came to visit me. They bought my Catholic school uniform, book bag, and picked me up a few days before first grade began. BUT when I told my good friend, another mother (single and a DA Prosecutor in the Bronx with two adopted daughters from China!) , she said, give it up, stop complaining, your parents had more than they could deal with and did the best they could. I realized she was right, everyone has something, and that I should grow up and stop whining. </p>
<p>Dharmawheel, “grow up and stop whining” is not the answer. (And I know the person you talked to, she’s just another person on the street, just like I am another person on the Internet.) The answer is good therapy. You can’t just wish this stuff away.</p>
<p>Quoting from my realtors email of yesterday:</p>
<p>Sorry - I know working with contractors can be frustrating. Just know that from my perspective, as long as it’s done before closing we will be fine. Let’s hope they keep the Tuesday appointment. </p>
<p>Cardinal Fang, the contracts will be signed as soon as the two lawyers coordinate the exchange and we two parties sign them. </p>
<p>My realtor DID tell the lawyer to put in the tank repair as a contingency! </p>
<p>So I had wrongly assumed (misunderstood) that the tank work had to be done first.</p>
<p>Yesterday I replied to her, Dont you mean that contracts will be signed after the tank work? I kknew it was very unusual not to get a reply from her this morning so I called her at Noon. No, she explained, it was a contingency, just as Cardinal Fang was concerned about. The realtor told me three people told her this am that her email seemed not to be working -she has to get her tech guyto fix it.</p>
<p>I couldnt WAIT to tell Cardinal Fang!</p>
<p>Glad to hear the contract will be signed soon. I don’t fully understand how real estate contracts work in New York. In California, normally real estate contracts do not involve lawyers: the buyer, with the buyer’s agent, writes up a contract (normally a standard one; contingencies are standard), and then the seller, with the help of the seller’s age, signs the contract. The buyer’s deposit is put into escrow with an escrow company. And then when the actual closing takes place, the whole thing is done by the escrow company.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, real estate closings in NY usually involve 2 lawyers.</p>
<p>When I bought my first condo in California, my parents back in NJ were shocked that I didn’t have a lawyer. But as I said, it’s not usual to have a lawyer. </p>
<p>My FIL advised my husband and me to always get a lawyer to review real estate transactions, so we do. Our last two purchases were complex, though - our house and our cabin are both on private roads. We also had a bunch of easements to figure out. In each case, our lawyer revised the contract before we signed it.</p>
<p>I don’t know anyone who has bought or sold a house in California without a lawyer, and then later wished they’d had a lawyer. The other real estate professionals (the real estate agents, the mortgage people, the title company) seem to be able to handle the situations that come up. (ETA: not meaning to imply that people in other states should go without lawyers. If you’re in a state where people get lawyers, you should get a lawyer.)</p>
<p>The attorney can over the details, especially when state laws don’t include some protections for both sides. It’s a layer of CYA. But no, we didn’t have one either, when we bought the CA condo. If everything is in order, it’s a quick review.</p>
<p>I was glad we had a lawyer help us when we bought our land, because he discovered an easement that we would have missed. It allowed our neighbor, who developed the subdivision, to let farm animals wander on our lot!! I am not kidding. We asked the guy to release us from that easement, and he did. Nobody else pointed this out to us!</p>
<p>free milk?? :)</p>
<p>Gotta love Maine. Where I am now they thought I was nuts for asking about a survey. </p>
<p>We’ve never used a lawyer in any of our sales/purchases either, but then we’re in California too, where consumer protections do tend to be strong. I wouldn’t dream of not using a realtor though, as is being discussed on another thread. </p>
<p>I am thankful I’ve never had to deal with this oil tank business! I had no idea.</p>
<p>In CT both sides have a lawyer. When in Rome…</p>
<p>Oh yes, in NY the lawyers get heavily involved. Luckily we have a wonderful and trusted one.</p>
<p>This is not really off topic, because part of taking care of elders means taking care of yourself, too, as many have pointed out! Last night I went to hear the humorist/essayist–and I would add moralist–David Sedaris read from new work in Poughkeepsie NY. His work definitely is borderline/has an edge, but deep down I have always tried to pinpoint/identify for myelf how his work reveals a great empathy for people, and a wish to communicate on a meaningful level, not just be outrageous or funny. If you don’t know him, try him out.</p>
<p>To my amazement, after he read he held up a copy of Ann Patchett’s new book This is a Story of a Happy Marriage. I had just read it. He tells us the bk is out front for sale along with his books. He reads a passage from her essay about how to be a writer, and says its the best advice he’d ever heard. I raised my hand and mine was the last question he took. I told him I had just read the book and wanted to recommend a book to HIM written by Ann’s intimate friend Lucy Grealey called-- he interrupted me and said “Anatomy of a Face!” (Google for details, intriguing story). He talked about meeting Lucy several times and asked What is the name of the bk Patchett wrote about their friendship? I said Truth and Beauty and he said he recalled there was a controversial incident about the book. I spoke and said incoming parents at a college in NC objected that their children were to read a “salacious book” which was completely absurd if you read the book. The college won, the students read the bk, and Patchett came to the college to talk about censorship, making your own choices, and growing up. David thanked me for my contribution! I was in heaven. Look him up in Wikipedia; his story (and books of course) is/are quite interesting. If you listen to bks on CD in the car as I do (lots of driving) DEFINITLY order from your library his own readings of his bks.</p>
<p>Must say, my husband and I pre-children had idyllic visits to Round Pond on the coast of Maine. </p>
<p>I gather that in NY, compared to other states, real estate transactions are quite complex, involving a lot of people who have to be present at the closing.</p>
<p>Oldmom, I AM listening…just give me time to get there…and thank you.</p>
<p>Got that confused, Round Pond was where we would visit a retired Episcopal Priest, near Damariscotta (sp) where the poet Robert Lowell and his then-wife spent much time.</p>
<p>We stayed on a little island called Southport, off Boothbay Harbor.</p>
<p>Happily, my mother has good sleep every night since they started her on the sinequan.</p>