I went home over winter break and I know it is a mistake to compare myself to others, but the majority of my high school friends are having a good or great time in college and I have been depressed that I am not.
I have thought about it over break, about how despite leaving school for a month, I will likely return without having had any contact with anyone from my college and without anyone caring about my existence. However, I am going to push myself second semester to put myself out there even more, and if that doesn’t work, I will start the transfer apps.
I am going to get involved in the production of the Vagina Monologues, plan weekly meals off-campus with two of my club members, join the Philosophy Club that visits Atlanta every Friday, audition for the Chamber Orchestra, and speak to an art professor about independent projects. I will also try to get the phone number of at least one person in each class in order to ask questions and possibly eventually create a study group. I am also getting a new roommate, and can at least be assured that I can meet a couple of people through her. I currently work at the IT Hotspot, where we do literally nothing, so I am going to try to get a different job on campus that involves working with others. I will also apply to new club eboard openings and maybe even try “rushing” for a social club, even if I eventually don’t join. And while unrealistic, I aim to go to the gym at least twice a week and maybe I’ll meet someone there. I even want to get a Snapchat. If problems progress, I plan to speak to my RA, but since she is an extremely cold person, I will contact the counseling office if it doesn’t work out. And if after all that I am still desperately unhappy, I’ll do the transfer apps.
I also figure since no one likes me how I am now (trying to be nice but just ending up boring), I will start being more straightforward and upfront about my opinions. It will be extremely, extremely hard for me to strike up conversation with new people, but I hope that I can get better at it because it is an important life skill.