<p>We live accross country from family and friends. Aunt, Uncle and grandparents all cancelled due to economics and friends we do know were inivted by another friend to her daughters graduation dinner at 4pm when my daughter actually has her ceremony at 4pm. The other parent says we are welcome at their dinner?(she knows we can’t) How can I make it special for just the three of us and how should I take this invite, I don’t understand the point behind it. I guess I feel should could alter the time, but it is also not my place to schedule her dinner.</p>
<p>We also live far away from family and have not had a party for either of the two kids who have already graduated. We follow the kids to the traditional jump in the town fountain after the ceremony, come home and dry off the graduate, and have a relaxed family evening with gifts and fun foods we don’t ordinarily serve (last year’s grad wanted dinner to be a dessert buffet!). For us, having everyone together in the evening is so usual after the craziness of senior year that the evening becomes special just because of that.</p>
<p>Yankeemom, I am sorry your plans are not working out. We never had parties for graduation. Just too many of them with 5 kids spaced the way ours was, especially when you throw in religious rites of passage and other celebratory events. We just would go out to dinner after the ceremony as a family. In fact, we have had to combine celebrations many a time. This last time, my son graduated on Mother’s Day, and within the week of my MIL and H’s birthdays, so the dinner was a Quintuple Header-Two of us for Mothers Day, two birthdays, and graduation. In two years we’ll be having two more graduations (hopefully), a confirmation, Mother’s Day again, and the birthdays again all in a short time period. Extended family was not invited nor did they expect to be invited to the graduation. </p>
<p>Have a nice private dinner at a special place, just the three of you, and discuss a party for her friends over the summer, something that she can plan and gather up those she most wants to come when things aren’t so squeezed in a short time interval. </p>
<p>Of course you cannot make that dinner, nor should you give it another thought other than to graciously thank them for the invite. It just does not work out for you. Just enjoy this as a family. I would love to go for a quiet dinner with H and just one of the kids. What a treat that would be.</p>
<p>We’ve never done anything fancier than taking our graduating kid out to his favorite restaurant. They seem fine with it.</p>
<p>I’m not sure what my S will be wanting. However, I DO know he was rather impressed with the French restuarant I was taken to for my 50th birthday and has hinted loudly he’d like to go back sometime. That, or lobster dinner (for that, we may surprise him for his hard work junior year and treat him closer to the source, since we’ll be going east to visit a few schools.)</p>
<p>I don’t see anything wrong with just the 3 of you, or perhaps the 3 of you and a friend of hers, just celebrating on your own by preparing her favorite dinner, or going to a restaurant she’d like, and maybe making a graduation cake. It seems fine to me.</p>
<p>I was a bit ticked that my inlaws weren’t coming. Only my parents are coming and now I wish they weren’t - wouldn’t have to clean the house or cook. </p>
<p>If I were you I’d make sure there was a fabulous dessert and/or snacks at home, then eat at your favorite restaurant, then come home and collapse with the snacks.</p>
<p>I guess what was sort of bothering me was that this “friend” invited our mutal friends and she knows now that we will be all alone. If it was me I would try to work with the time. You are right though, I need to find out what would make my daughter most happy.</p>
<p>Oh, don’t dwell on that, Yankeemom. Just enjoy the day and your daughter. She might want to do something later in the summer, and you can bring that up.</p>
<p>We didn’t go the party route - just went out to a fancy restaurant for lunch in DC after the grad ceremony. Sometimes there seems to be a party overload at grad time.</p>
<p>If all your daughter’s friends are dispersing to various colleges, why not have a sendoff party in mid August?</p>
<p>I have mixed feelings about graduation parties. They take place at a time when most families are spending heavily as it is: between college trips/applications, a graduation gift, deposit money, dorm expenditures and the looming spectre of hefty tuition it felt like we were bleeding money. I wasn’t into spending more on a big party, especially since there were so many of them scheduled about the same time. I favored a nice dinner with the family where D got her graduation gift, and that’s what we did. </p>
<p>But D still wanted a party and took matters in her own hands: she arranged to have a ‘communal’ party with two other friends. The family of one of the girls hosted in their back yard, we all pooled our money for food/drinks/cake. The result was a fun, but low-stess and inexpensive evening. I’m glad we did it. But I would have been equally glad had we simply done the family thing.</p>
<p>Around here graduation parties have already started- even though the kids haven’t graduated yet! Our grad is in the morning so we’ll come back to the house, have lunch with the grandmothers and our grad and her older brother will then disappear- to attend other parties! </p>
<p>Don’t worry about the other “friends” and their dinner invite. It would make me feel sad too but don’t think of yourselves as being alone- think of yourselves as being exclusive! </p>
<p>We are following need2learn’s suggestion and having a “send-off” party in August. It will be a last chance for the kids to connect before heading in all different directions. Give them a chance to catch up on their summer activities and a last hoorah. Kind of cuts back on the “have to be here, have to be there” frenzy around grad time.</p>
<p>We have no family nearby. My 2 oldest were not interested in having a party. Grandparents did come up for #2’s graduation. With both #1 and #2 we did dinner out at a very nice place. #3 is very social and wanted a party. We did a communal party with 9 other families at a local park so no one had to clean their house. It was great. The kids had a wonderful time and would have all attended each other’s parties. I think the cost per family was about $100. It was also very low stress. I would highly recommend this for those thinking about a party.</p>
<p>When my S graduated from HS I gave him a budget and let him pick the place (restaurant) and the people for HIS party. No parents, no family.</p>
<p>He thanked me before and afterwards. I got a call from one of his friends thanking me. Both my S and his friend mentioned that it was the only party they had been to that was the graduate’s party rather than the parents’ deal.</p>
<p>You might just let your daughter have such a party. After all, to the graduate it is the end of a time in their life and they seem to want to celebrate it with their friends.</p>
<p>That’s a great idea, 07DAD; I may steal it when it comes to my son’s graduation.</p>
<p>Please do.</p>
<p>I can’t take full credit. That is what my parents did for me back in 1968 when I graduated from HS. I still remember how much I enjoyed getting those best HS friends all together one last time.</p>
<p>07Dad - that is a great idea. I think that’ll be perfect for my son who has refused to let me throw a party. BUT - he might just go for that. Thanks!!!</p>
<p>I didn’t have a graduation party for younger D ( for her sister- we had a combo 10th/18th birthday party, moving up from 5th grade/ high school graduation party)
She doesn’t like fanfare- but I admit I was p<em>iss</em>ed, when noone besides my daughter & husband came to her graduation last year.
My mother and inlaws all just didn’t show up)</p>
<p>However- I did just volunteer to chaperone at this years high school graduation party. ( one of the all night mystery tours). Since D has been out of the country since Feb, it will be fun to be around 18 year olds for a while.</p>
<p>I’ve been so busy getting ready for DS’s graduation that I just found the time to read this thread! Just DS, DD, and me for DS’s grad party. All of his grandparents have passed away and everyone else lives too far away to attend graduation. So . . . I decorated the house this morning when DS was at grad rehearsal. Made a cake, wrapped the gift, and brought out of hiding all the grad card (with money!?) envelopes he’s received in the mail over the past few weeks. (Yes, I got to the mailbox first so I could hide the grad cards until today - thought DS would like to be surrounded by all the loved ones who live too far away to make it to his graduation tonight.) Since DS has an evening graduation, I held off fancy dinner until tomorrow night - going to an expensive restaurant that I think he will like. With all the hubbub of the past few weeks - grad breakfast, grad picnic, grad awards ceremony, AP exams, finals, etc. - DS is actually looking forward to some quiet time (perhaps to count his money?!) Just enjoy spending the time with your DD. So soon she will be off on her own.</p>
<p>I can understand your feeling kind of alone, and it is a sensitive time for us parents… but as others have said, find what will make your d happy. we did a special dinner at a fondue restaurant that my d loves. brought along gifts — homemade quilt and photo book so it felt graduationy…was a nice intimate dinner</p>
<p>as 07dad did, let my d have a party with just her friends as well. (pretty low key–20 kids, snacks,music, they loved that it was their time to celebrate)</p>
<p>congrats to your d and enjoy it…</p>