<p>WashDadJr called last night because he’s having girlfriend problems. He wanted advice from his Mom, and then asked for me because he wanted to ask me, too. I don’t care about his grades – I love this kid.</p>
<p>^I admire your priorities. I suspect that Jr. has some very good parents to guide him through troubled times. He’ll be fine.</p>
<p>There was a wonderful cartoon in the paper this morning on this subject. The son tells his dad that he wants to ask a girl out, but if she says no he’ll be crushed. If she says yes, he’ll be terrified. So he’s paralyzed with fear. Dad responds that crushed and terrified go away, but paralyzed lasts a long time.</p>
<p>ohhhhhh. I love WashDadJr, too. You raised a good one, it seems!</p>
<p>I’m still waiting for S to have girlfriend trouble. Well, to be truthful, I’m still waiting for S to have a girlfriend. Count your blessings.</p>
<p>Awww, WashDad, asking parents for advice is a sign that your son is a real grown-up!</p>
<p>3bm, did you mean this one (if it does not work, look for the one published on Feb2 2008)? </p>
<p><a href=“http://members.comics.com/members/common/affiliateArchive.do?site=seattle&comic=luann[/url]”>http://members.comics.com/members/common/affiliateArchive.do?site=seattle&comic=luann</a></p>
<p>I’d advise WashDad Jr. to be a little careful.</p>
<p>Of all the mistakes I have made in my life, the one that has had the longest consequences began just this way. I knew that my parents (well, really just my mother) yearned for real-time information about my life and concerns, and for the chance to give me personal advice when it mattered. Something I had never let them do. When I was a senior in college, I made a decision that I was old enough and secure enough to be honest with them, let them in, and give them that pleasure. As the first step in that experiment I told them about my frustrations in trying to move from friendship to something more with a girl I liked. They were thrilled to have that kind of conversation with me, and happy to provide advice, support, etc. Very successful set of phone calls over a few weeks.</p>
<p>The downside? Five months later, when I DID start going out with the woman I eventually married, they knew waaaay too much, and had waaaay too negative an impression. The oh-so-critical parents-daughter-in-law relationship got off on the wrong foot, and never quite found the right one (although everyone has learned to co-exist, more or less, over the past 30 years).</p>
<p>JHS:
I can relate. My brother swore not to introduce any girlfriend to the family until he was serious. Unfortunately, the day he decided to introduce the girlfriend, our older brother had organized a family get-together to welcome me back from the US where I had just spent my first year in college. The poor girlfriend suffered the scrutiny of not only assorted siblings, in-laws, but also cousins, nieces and nephews. I always admired her for marrying my brother after that baptism of fire!</p>
<p>BB: Yes. I loved it. My husband liked it even better.</p>
<p>
Finally, a soul mate! LOL. My DS is a friend to many of the opposite sex but a boyfriend to none. His shyness is endearing but infuriating.</p>
<p>^^Well, S has brought home some very pretty and pretty nice girls. Alas, they’ve come in groups to make smoothies then flop down in front of the TV.
By his age, I’d met the love of my life. What a slow top!</p>
<p>From my vantage point as a parent, I have learned that it’s mainly up to the girls. If one of them wants something to happen, she can probably (not always) make it happen. It is the rare boy who ever actually takes the initiative, at least at this age. I saw this both with my daughter and her friends and with my son and his friends. If I had understood it as a teenager, my life would have been simpler, although I might have just jumped off a bridge.</p>
<p>Whenever my son has had a girlfriend, it’s been because the girl did the spadework. The ones who were waiting for him to make a move ultimately got tired of waiting. Even when he was clearly interested, he couldn’t “move” his way out of a paper bag.</p>
<p>Haha, JHS</p>
<p>I think you’ve got it right. I had to sntch my husband from the jaws of indecision-- or worse–wrongful decision–33 years ago. Somebody has got to do the heavy lifting.</p>
<h1>5. Marite. We have the same concerns with S. What is the matter with girls, don’t they radar scanning for eligible bachelors ?</h1>
<p>
Me, three. Well, seeing thisoldman’s post, I guess it’s Me, four.</p>
<p>DS had girlfriends in middle school and a couple of short-timers in high school. Since then, nada/zilch/zip. I guess it beats getting attached too young.</p>
<p>Crisis averted. He decided to “give her a couple of days” and less than 24 hours later she called him and said, in essence, that she was wrong. All is well in the high desert. (WashMom won the advice contest – she said that WDJr should leave GF alone for a week and give her a chance to think things over.)</p>
<p>but what did you advise?</p>
<p>Heh. Good thing he listened to his mom…</p>
<p>Marite,
Me five. DS1 has many, many female friends – they all seem to love him to death, ask for advice and tell him about everything, but they just don’t feel “that way.” I remind myself that when he does get a GF, he will have a great store of knowledge to work from.</p>
<p>DS2 (soon to be 16) has a GF. <em>That</em> I worry about. On the other hand, I am continually impressed with the way he respects her and is so considerate. (Tomorrow he is having her over for The Big Game, teaching her about American football, and cooking her a gourmet dinner. She even gets to wear a Patriots sweatshirt in our house.) His friends, however, are getting into having co-ed sleepovers and it gives me the heebeejeebees. </p>
<p>WashDad,
So did you agree with WashMom?</p>
<p>WashDad - You really are fortunate that your S is willing to share some of that part of his life with you. I imagine as long as the advice he’s getting seems sound, he’ll continue to share.</p>
<p>My own S (a h.s. senior) has had girlfriends off and on since about 4th grade and until he got his driver’s license, shared only so much information as was necessary to get rides places to see them or to purchase a gift. Now he shares even less. I think he’s mainly afraid of too many questions on my part.</p>
<p>My D (college soph.), on the other hand, has always shared a lot, sometimes more than I’ve wanted to know. She recently commented that it seems every time she mentions someone that the relationship goes bad, so it appears I’m being cut off from information from her as well. I suppose that if that will keep any more relationships from blowing up right before midterms or finals, that’s a good thing.</p>