Our DD, with excellent stats, secured admission and even scholarship at some top engineering programs in the country and now while trying to narrow down colleges, suddenly she says she doesn’t want to be an engineer anymore. Doesn’t know what else to do. Now what? Any other parents gone through such misery? Any advice about how to deal? Any recommendations? Thanks.
Does your D have any acceptances at schools that offer a wide range of majors? If I recall, UDel, was on her list of acceptances? If so, they have every major under the sun.
In general it’s much easier to switch out of engineering than in, so she should be fine with changing majors. Plus, in most schools the first year engineering curriculum can be applicable to many many other majors or used to fill gen eds- math, physics, chem, and English.
Lots and lots of kids change their minds. It will be ok! She will find her way! But hugs to you! I know it’s a hard pivot for parents (I did it to my own parents back in they day ; )).
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Agree with above. She will have plenty of options. Lots of kids change their majors.
As an aside… interesting choice of screen names…
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Haha I’m engineering too and I’ve been seeing all the (maybe?) satire videos like “yay I got a 20 in my engineering class” “why are you happy?” “It was the highest grade in the class!” It makes me a little scared but I’m confident my school is preparing me well.
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May be a fleeting case of nerves.
Keep calm and carry on.
Attending events for admitted students may allay concerns.
Investigate process for switching majors; some colleges have robust advising, others may not.
In any case, the student will need to dig into four year plans for other majors.
No harm in starting in engineering.
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If it’s any consolation, D19 transferred schools after his first semester in college, and changed his major four times. He applied for the transfer halfway through the semester, and already knew he wanted to change majors.
He has now graduated, will have his master’s this year. He is student teaching and also working as a grad assistant, and is preparing to work as an associate professor next year. Things always seem to work out.
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It’s not unusual for kids to change their minds about their prospective major so your daughter isn’t alone! Take a look at the possible majors at the schools she has been accepted to in order to see if there is enough variety for her. If engineering is truly off the table, she may have to eliminate any schools that don’t offer majors outside of that. I believe Delaware is on your list and I know that has pretty much everything so she has that in her hand already. Are you waiting for any additional schools?
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S23 did the same, but it was end of junior year and we had time to course correct. Luckily, I had him pick schools on his initial list that had not only the type of engineering he thought he wanted to study but 2 other types of engineering that he would be interested in, as well as 2 non-engineering majors he would be interested in. Have your daughter go through her acceptances and see if any schools meet that criteria. She can start in engineering and still have lots of options.
Like everyone else, I see this as so common it is not a big cause for concern. Former engineering kids might still be interested in majoring in a math or a science, but they might also do something completely different. Indeed, “curiosity about how things work,” “problem solving,” and so on are aspects of so many different majors and careers that I think the options are really practically endless.
Also as others are suggesting, usually a good choice for any kid in that sort of exploratory mode is a good all-around public. Delaware certainly qualifies, and generally has a real nice campus in a nice college town with easy access to both Philly and Baltimore, making it very convenient for a variety of possible internships and such. Maybe that is not her only viable option, but if that is one of her options, she is already in great shape for a more exploratory college experience.
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Are the scholarships tied to the engineering program/school?
Is college affordable without these scholarships?
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Your D has her entire life ahead of her so try not to make too big a deal of this-- there are millions of happy professionals in the world who didn’t study engineering!
What are her affordable options and where can she go as “undecided”?
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She doesn’t want to be an engineer as a profession, or she doesn’t want to study engineering in college?
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You’re miserable because your kid has been honest that she doesn’t want to be an engineer? You should be grateful your child is honest with you and herself about something that clearly made her unhappy.
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Whether or not it is easy to switch majors or colleges/schools within a university depends upon the particular school, therefore, a list of her options would be helpful (previous posts indicate Rose-Hulman, Georgia Tech, & U Delaware).
Based on her current state of mind, Rose-Hulman might not be a wise choice given her other school options.
As noted by another poster, first year courses as an intended engineering major will not harm her if she switches majors.
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Oh boy this brings back the feels…
My daughter’s situation sounds so similar to your daughters. But we are on the other side now by 18 months, and I can now say that it was just a hiccup. Your daughter still has time to choose a school with many degree offerings where she can simply change majors. Soooo many kids do that.
My daughter enrolled and accepted a full-tuition scholarship at a small, top undergraduate engineering school–pretty much ONLY an engineering school–when she realized engineering wasn’t for her and that she wanted a big campus experience with all the things. It was also her dad’s alma mater and her granddad’s and her great-uncle’s. So the pressure was real and she got caught up in all the family excitement.
She ended up attending for one quarter and then transferring to a Big 10 campus for business for second semester–yes the quarter/semester thing made for some transfer headaches. Since declaring a business major she has switched from marketing to business analytics to economics over the past year. She realized that she still loved math, so she kept switching to majors that required more advanced math classes.
She is now SOOO happy. The struggle to buck family tradition and give up a great scholarship was so hard–there were many tears, but it forced her think about what SHE really wanted out of her educational experience and go after it.
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We all live vicariously through our kids.
Luckily my kids are much smarter than me and focused so I don’t need to do a lot of “encouraging.”
I think the question OP needs to ask is, what is really the deep underlying problem to cause this change of heart and why OP is so disappointed.
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Thanks for the 
and some good suggestions and critiques, the colleges she is accepted into are Rose, Purdue, OSU, University of Cincinnati, University of Dayton, RPI (all offered scholarships, don’t believe it’s tied to the major) GTech & UDel (no scholarships so far), still waiting on Case Western, RIT, CMU and Princeton. I’m trying to still figure out the why in change of heart and more than disappointment I’m trying to figure out how to choose a school (since we will be paying) knowing this new development. While I’m geeatful she is opening up, it’s also shocking to see she’s withdrawing from something she had aspired to do.
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It’s not shocking. It is very common!
OSU, Cincinnati, Delaware, Case, Dayton, CMU and Princeton are all terrific options for her if they are within budget. I think it’s a great set of schools for econ, history, applied math, anthropology, or whatever else she lands on!
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Well seeing this list, let me add that the schools I was referring to in my daughter’s experience are on your daughter’s list. She transferred from Rose to Purdue. If you want to direct message me feel free. Not sure how I can help, but willing to give it a try…
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What you are telling us is very, very common. She may continue to change her mind for the next 5+ years, she may have it figured out in 6 months. Either way…it’s common. I understand your feelings, but I would dig a little bit and try to understand what it is you are disappointed about (not judging). She has schools on her list with a variety of majors, which is great!
My daughter changed her career path several times …for various reasons …until she finally realized what she wanted and had the confidence to actually go after it. I won’t lie…it was stressful for me, but she needed to work through it.
Your D is still in HS and there could be lots of twists and turns while she’s figuring it out. She may even switch back to engineering. Try and enjoy the ride…despite the bumps.
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