NYT gift link: Kids? A Growing Number of Americans Say, ‘No, Thanks.’

A new study breaks down the reasons more U.S. adults say they are unlikely to have children.
gift link
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/07/25/well/mind/child-free-adults-pew-study.html?unlocked_article_code=1.900.Iepi.SsKF3rWikvys&smid=url-share

It references this survey:

My S does not have any interest in having kids. I’m glad that he doesn’t feel pressure to have kids. It’s awesome if you want them, but it’s okay if you don’t.

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My 40 year old niece stated she would not be having children before she was married 15 years ago. Her reasoning was she could not fathom bringing up children in the world we lived in. She was an elementary school teacher and adored children, so this came as a surprise to many of us. Her MIL hoped she would change her mind, but that never happened.

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I don’t blame anyone who wouldn’t want to bring children into this world right now. I wouldn’t.

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I thought of this thread when I happened to catch this segment on The Today Show.

Watching it made me think we’re witnessing a period of self-reflection…where people are questioning societal expectations and reclaiming autonomy.

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I think this is a really sad reason to not have children. By that, I mean that I think it would terrible to desire to have kids and choose not to because you feel the world is a mess.

The world has always been a mess.

I’m all for individual choice in deciding to have children or not but the world today isn’t worse than it has been at several points in the past, and in many ways it is much much better.

This thread may belong in the politics forum, my apologies if this post crosses that line.

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The environment of the planet alone is worse than it’s been in my lifetime. Not even discussing other things.

We will have to agree to disagree on this. :v:t3:

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Well. Not my kids… I have two grandbabies on the horizon!

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It’s individual choice. People have been having babies during wars. Nobody I know from loving families subscribe to this idea. I also do think it’s belong to political forum.

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Or perhaps a religious thread? I kind of think that is where controversy about this subject arises.

Here is a thread if you want to talk about this topic regarding things that may be political: https://talk.collegeconfidential.com/t/choosing-not-to-have-children-reasons-that-may-be-political/3670742

There are so many reasons why young people today are hesitant to bring children into the world. These range from economic (decreased viability of single income households, unaffordable housing, student debt, lack of job security, ability to save for education, health care costs, etc. etc.) to environmental (projected impacts of climate change over the lifetime of children born today keep worsening) to societal-political (concern about the trajectory of society/government on a national level and globally) and regarding health care (esp. the way changing policies re: reproductive rights affect not just those who wish not to be pregnant, but also those who may require life-saving care while pregnant).

Not all of these topics need to be quarantined under “political,” but it’s difficult to completely avoid crossing that line if a nuanced discussion is desired.

Regardless, I have to object to the insinuation that anyone who would decide against becoming a parent, for any combination of the above reasons, would have been a bad parent anyway. There are definitely young people who would like to be parents, and who would be great parents, but whose consciences are telling them that bringing children into the world would be a selfish decision, because it would be about their own desire to be parents and not about whether it would be a loving decision to bring children into what they believe will be adverse circumstances when the choice is available not to.

It’s 100% fine and legitimate to disagree with this conclusion, but not fine, IMHO, to vilify those who come to it, in terms of their motives and/or their potential to be loving parents.

I’ve also had young people tell me that they want to have kids, but they would prefer to adopt, so that they can commit fully to parenting without being the ones to bring those children into the world. I’m sympathetic to this point of view as well.

It’s also odd to me that the idea of reducing or reversing population growth trends is met with such horror in many circles. Is there no limit to how many people we believe the planet should support? And on a national level, why is it so great to grow our population via reproduction, and so terrible to grow it via immigration? Whoops, political again. So much of life is political, when you really consider the beliefs that drive our choices. :woman_shrugging:t2:

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It’s weird that I grew up hearing people talk about ZPG (Zero Population Growth), and now people are saying we need more kids.

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But daycare didn’t always cost what many people pay for their mortgage.

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My D pays a very hefty percentage of her very good salary for daycare, and she only has to pay for three days a week (the grandmas cover the other two). It’s mind blowing.

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Agreed. I did not interpret the reasoning as an economic one though, perhaps I was wrong.

I’ll just say that I think anyone who wants to be a parent and has the economic and relationship and mental stability to have children should. It’s just my opinion. I also think that if you don’t want to have children, you absolutely shouldn’t! No religious reasoning from me here at all.

That said, I’m going to opt out of this thread because I choose not to be on the politics forum for a reason :slight_smile:

I have a number of friends that don’t have kids. I’ve never asked why. I assumed they didn’t want them. Some of them waited until their 50s to marry. I look at their lives and they don’t seem to be lacking anything. They are very happy and fulfilled.

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I have a coworker, mid 30s, happily married, 3 children. H is an atty. She a CPA. She’s considering leaving her job because daycare is literally the cost of what she’s earning right now $120k annually. That’s criminal. IMO. :disappointed:

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I also do not ask.

However, I know of two cases where the couple did want children, but were medically unable to have any.

People seem to be finding the right person and marrying later now than they did when my parents were young. Perhaps just starting late is at least a small part of the issue. This does make it less likely that a couple will be able to have kids.

When my wife and I were married, we were told that due to age (mostly) we were unlikely to be able to have kids. We got lucky, twice (two kids) and twice (smart and responsible kids).