Instead of focusing on always putting things away and keeping my home neat, I make sure that every room in the house has a trash can, a laundry basket and a “this belongs in another room” bin. When a space becomes too messy to enjoy, instead of ignoring it because it feels overwhelming, I take a few minutes to toss things into their bin and move on.
I used to be messy but I got tired of living that way. Have so much less anxiety since changing my ways. It was not easy but I’m grateful that I didn’t. The sense of peace I have walking into my home is worth the mental work I have to do to stop being messy.
Absolutely agree. I can’t stand clutter. You don’t have to be obsessive to keep a really clean house. You just clean as you go, so there aren’t any major projects to be done later, it’s all just done in little bits of effort as it occurs. It took me a long time to get that. Instead of letting things get out of hand and having a major project to do to get things back in control, it’s just the little daily actions that keep it all in check.
May I gently say, maybe not every thread is for everyone. The OP posted a response to the much more prevailing Marie Kondo ethos, a response which she identified with (as do I). Everyone’s heads don’t work the same way. This wasn’t an article about being dirty, but about being cluttered. If I had to come up with constant systems to make everything tidy al the time, it would be less peaceful for me.
I understand what you are saying. It’s absolutely true that one persons “messy” is their comfort level and one persons “neat” is theirs. 100% true some of the time.
But while it’s (in my experience) rare to find a neat person who wishes they could be messy, it seems there are many messy people who wish they could be neater or live with less. There are threads on CC pages long to support this.
“You do you” as the saying goes. If it makes you happy. But also - I’ll double check this - the OP simply posted the article link with no other comments or support for or against the article so I assumed it was up for discussion!
Editing to say actually OP does have content - perhaps that was edited in after originally just posting the link (which was originally somehow incorrect)
There is a golden middle between Kondo-esque neatness and utter chaos. We are here free to discuss.
While I agree with the writer’s main points, the photos accompanying the piece tell something different. Uhhmm… food waste on the floor and an open rolling trash can? That’s not cozy. That is not just clutter. It is anti sanitary.
Of course you are free to discuss. I just mean that when somehow posts a thread which is counter to the prevailing trend, it probably isn’t necessary for the prevailing trend to swoop in and disagree. I’m sure she (we) know what the prevailing viewpoint is already. (Also I tend to assume that illustrations aren’t necessarily the writer’s choice, similar to headlines.)
But in any case, discuss away. We could probably use the tips I guess.
As a person whose apartment was awful at one time (although not food-dirty), and after many years of really good therapy, I am pretty neat now and my current apartment, while not usually eat-off-the-floor clean, is in orderly shape and pretty clean.
I have known really creative people who thrive in an environment on the verge of chaos. They magically put disparate objects to use in amazing ways. That is not me, not at all, but I learned a long time ago that I feel calmer in an orderly environment. But each of us is an example of one, y’know?
I feel anxious just looking at those photos. I wouldn’t last 5 minutes as a visitor in that environment.
I don’t know who Molly Weasley is, but the author’s home is beyond cozy-chaos IMO, bordering on what the homes in the show “Hoarders” look like (which I had to stop watching). Maybe it is a difference in brain chemistry that allows some to be happy living in a messy environment. I agree with Bunsen that there is a “golden middle” between a completely sterile living space and the author’s photos - and many who land on the neater side still have unopened mail stacked on the kitchen counter on any given day.
I was talking with my college kids yesterday about this subject and it’s shocking how many go off to college and live as slobs, with a complete disregard for their fellow roommates. My daughter is very lucky with her roommates, but her boyfriend lives with roommates who are happy living in a pig pen (bf is not like that and struggles to keep common areas clean). My niece lived with a girl who refused to flush the toilet, ever, and who left half empty food containers in the room over long school breaks. She was unapologetic about it (my niece eventually moved out). Makes me wonder what their home environment looks like.
“The parts of my brain that allow me to produce handmade Renaissance costumes are the same parts responsible for a dining room bursting with fabric scraps and sewing supplies. It’s time we admit that what makes us shine can’t be divorced from what makes us scattered.
Science agrees. For example, people who have A.D.H.D. are often messy because their brains’ executive functioning center — the area that controls time management, focus shifting, memory and prioritization — operates differently from a typical brain’s. This atypical functioning can also create a higher level of divergent thinking and creativity, according to some research”
I wonder where is tipping point of too many items —>collecting and retaining things just in case—> hoarding.
The author says she’s busy with young children. How will the space change with their growth and when they eventually leave home?
Looking at the pics in the article while it makes me want to get the kids and play the “5 minute pick up” game a hundred times, well, I think these pics are typical for many overwhelmed homes with young children. Too many belongings? Maybe. Science of the brain? Maybe. And maybe neat people also have brains geared for order.
But you also might wonder while this messiness works for the author …does it work for other members of her family? Do the kids function well in this environment?
Her tips about the garbage can and laundry basket in every room… seems like overkill and another space filler! But the general concept - a couple laundry baskets or cans, could be helpful.
I wonder how much she could have picked up the mess in the time it took her to write this article?
For me, it seems like she is trying to talk herself into the messiness being acceptable - and if she’s fine with it, God bless, but like abasket suggested, how do other members of the family feel about it (as well as people she invites into the house).
Many, many families with young children manage clutter and mess so using that as kind of a universal excuse for perpetual messiness never clicked for me. Teach those kids from an early age to clean up their toys and then she could set an example by cleaning the counter clutter.
My mom worked a demanding full-time job - I grew up in a home with 5 kids. You can bet money that she would leave us daily “to do” lists on the kitchen table, especially over the summer when we were essentially just sitting around the house, loitering (pre-driver’s licenses, pre-internet, obviously). Our house was by no means white-glove clean, but it was not messy.
I also reject the notion that taking time to clean somehow takes away from valuable time hanging out with your kids (or being able to make handmade Renaissance costumes). There are plenty of hours in a day. Taking 30 minutes to do an all-hands clean up sesh is not unattainable. I don’t doubt that there’s an ADHD connection, but I also know people who have that diagnosis but also keep a reasonably neat home environment.
The tips re the garbage can and laundry basket in every room just sound like excuses for not having to deal with the mess.
Okay, just a couple things. Obviously, I wouldn’t live in a house that looks like the pictures. My assumption was and is that those are art department illustrations, not the author’s actual house.
Also, I was sticking up for @oldmom4896 's description of tidiness challenges aligned with creativity in her case. I feel that too.
Just needed to come back and clarify that we are not coating the floors with food at chez Garland.
Molly didn’t have a chaos of clutter. She had a chaos of family and friends living with her at any moment. This person wouldn’t be able to accomodate anyone else in the environment portrayed. Looks like she has kids. I don’t think the chaos of her mess is doing them any favors. While she may be just “accepting her ADHD” (or whatever that nonsense is) she may be contributing to problems her children have in finding a calm environment of their own. She certainly doesn’t appear to be a “therapist” that I would suggest to anyone.
I can be plenty messy and use the “bag method” at times for a quick clean. But as my sister says, “It still has to get OUT of the bag and back to where it belongs! Don’t forget that part.”
As someone who ends up with clutter (and doesn’t want it) at times, a couple things stood out. The “out of sight, out of mind” is common. A lot of times things aren’t put away because once it goes in a drawer it’s forgotten. So open shelves are a better solution for storage in many cases vs closed cabinets. Or having a dedicated drawer or shelf specifically dedicated to a task. Like a drawer for office work in your kitchen if you work at the kitchen counter for example. Another is the hassle of putting things away. In this case the “putting away” has to be convenient and close to where the task is. Say you use scissors for gift wrapping which is in one room and scissors for crafts in another room and kitchen scissors. You need three pairs of scissors–don’t carry them all over the house–put them away in the room they are used.
I see her bed is a complete wreck which sorry–not sorry–is plain depressing. She can “embrace” not making the bed by finding ways to simplify bed making. And honestly–she needs use of a trash can–the old water bottles and assorted debris are garbage. That’s not “creative mess”–that’s laziness. And the huge out of place trash can in the kitchen? Get the garbage out. That’s unsanitary. She needs to face the fact that she is lazy and not just messy. If not for her then for her kids.
