<p>I know this isn’t college-related per se (thus the Cafe post), but I really need some advice and you parents seem to be good at that…</p>
<p>I’m pretty sure I have OCD by a clincian’s defination… real OCD, not the perfectionism everyone always calls OCD. When I wash my hands, I have to do it three times at least in order to make sure I get every spot and if my hand touches anything I deem contraband after I wash it I have to do it all over again. I also use hand sanitizer a ton, like 2+ bottles of it a week. If I’m sitting in room with a coughing person, all I can think about is getting away. I also have thought obession; if I think something that I fear might be “bad,” it literally torments me until I can do something to make it go away.</p>
<p>This has been going on for about a year, and my parent’s hate it. When I come home for breaks, they yell at me when I tell them I/they need to wash their hands and use handsantizer after doing something I deem contraband. But I don’t hate it. It’s time-consuming, yes (I’d estimate 2-3 hours/day), but I honestly cam
imagine how I survived before this. When I see the things people do I cringe. How’d I’d ever survive like that?</p>
<p>The thing is, if I admit to parents that it probably would be diagnosed as OCD, they’ll drag me into “treatment,” which apparently consists in large part of denying the client the ability to do what they need to. The last thing I want is my parents making me do hings I deem unsanitary and having a therapist to back them up. The “label” hanging over my head doesn’t sound great, either.</p>
<p>I am functioning normally, have friends, good grades, and feel, for the most part, happy. It’s just my parents who hate this… What should I do?</p>
<p>Taking up several hours a day with these tasks is not functioning normally, and your parents are reasonable to dislike your excessive cleaning and your condemnation of their level of cleanliness; however, if you do not want to consider the possibility of changing your behavior, then any therapy is likely to be drawn out, frustrating, and ultimately unsatisfying.</p>
<p>You seriously need to get some help. Having OCD is like going through life with a ball and chain around your leg. It might seem managable now, but it will likely get worse (and it really doesn’t seem all that managable now either the way you are describing it.) There are many ways to treat OCD. . . you need to find a good psychiatrist who can diagnose you and go over treatment options with you. (BTW, I am a psychiatrist, but I’m not going to go over treatment options on the internet. You need to go to a real live doc and get some treatment before you let this problem mess up your life.) </p>
<p>Your parents likely just want to help you. They are not trying to make your life worse, they are trying to make your life better. Trust them. Tell them.</p>
<p>Washing your hands, using sanitizer, and avoiding people with viral infections is smart and will help you avoid getting sick but spending 2-3 hours a day at this is over the top. Forget the labels like OCD (maybe watching too much daytime TV??) just take a realistic view at what you’re doing. Washing hands is normal (my family always washes hands more regularly than most but we don’t get sick as often as most either - it works) but scientifically speaking, washing for 3 minutes straight versus 15 seconds probably adds little to no value. Try to rationalize. Indulge your good hygiene but be realistic. Next time you feel the need, go ahead and wash your hands but try limiting it to no more than 15 seconds. This way you indulge yourself but keep it within reason. If you can’t manage to keep it short even though you know your hands are perfectly clean, you may have a problem since you’re not being rational.</p>
<p>If you try to force your habits on others, you’ll probably run into some contention so you may want to avoid trying to tell your parents when to wash their hands. Besides, it looks like that’s not working anyway. OTOH - they’ve been around much longer than you with ther habits and are still surviving.</p>
Maybe rather than diagnosing yourself and predicting the treatment you think you’ll receive, you should just discuss it and any related issues with your parents in a mature, honest fashion. If they want you to consult with a doctor just go along with it and see what they say. They might be able to tell you whether you have a real problem or not and if you do have one, help you address it before symptoms get worse.</p>
<p>Languagegirl - I’m a physician, but not a psychiatrist. Get yourself to your college counseling center (you sound as if you are in college). If you truly have OCD you very well may need medication. Now I’m speaking as a layperson, I know 2 cases of OCD that went untreated for several months because both the patient and the parents thought this was a “stage” or a “personality quirk” that the teen would grow out of. Both young men ended up acutely ill and incapacitated. Good news, both young men are now functional adults - one is a successful engineer.</p>
<p>Do not assume what your diagnosis or your treatment will be like before you see a doctor - I hear the illness talking.</p>
<p>I once had an RA working for me with OCD. She didn’t realize it until she jokingly mentioned it (“yeah, like when you get to the steps and you realize you’re on an odd number!”) and the rest of the staff reacted. </p>
<p>Plenty of people live healthy lives with the rituals that come along with OCD. Howie Mandel has actually spoken about a similar compulsion to yours, though a little more severe. He has said that he’s on medication, but thinks his way of coping is benign and doesn’t need to change. The problem is that the compulsions can sometimes bleed into other areas of life without you completely realizing it. </p>
<p>That RA I mentioned above was an English major and her OCD drifted into her writing. She told me that she started having severe anxiety over the need for even numbers of words in sentences, sentences in paragraphs, paragraphs on pages, pages in papers. She started demanding perfection from the girls in her a capella group and my sense was that it was causing a lot of tension. Do you see where I’m going?</p>
<p>It can’t hurt to talk to someone in the counseling center at your school. They might help you keep your coping strategies in check and make you more aware if your OCD becomes more pronounced.</p>
<p>You don’t need to do it. That’s the point. Your disease is telling you you need to do it, but you don’t need to, any more than an alcoholic needs a drink. When you stop drinking, you realize you don’t need it.</p>
<p>There are many kinds of treatment, and behavior therapy is just one. Medication by itself can sometimes bring a great deal of relief. You need to speak to a psychiatrist.</p>
<p>You need to follow the great advice you’ve been given by the previous posters. I’m married to a former sufferer of OCD, and his brother as well as their mother were also afflicted. You’ve reached a stage where you are admitting to spending 2-3 hours/day consumed by it, and I’d be willing to bet that’s an under estimate. Recognizing that you have a problem is a very big step towards recovery, and I wish you the best!</p>
<p>I support the advice you have been given here. My D was diagnosed with OCD 3 years ago at age 14. She doesn’t have a severe case, but she has been on medication since then and it has helped her tremendously.</p>
<p>You need to go to the college counseling center yourself, and maybe you should give your parents some articles to read–try the internet. It’s your disease that makes you do the rituals, you can’t help yourself, and once your parents understand that (as we had to learn) they will know that the way to help you is NOT to try to make you stop, but to get you help in stopping.</p>
<p>PLEASE TAKE ACTION–this can gradually begin to ruin your life before you even realize it. Treated now, it will be very manageable.</p>
<p>Good luck to you, and please let us know how you are doing.</p>
<p>I think it’s important for you to know that you can talk to the counseling center at school BEFORE you talk to your parents. The counseling center is probably free, and they definitely can’t tell your parents that you have OCD for you. If you aren’t sure, ask about their privacy policy at your first session, before you even tell them anything. It might help just to be able to tell /talk to someone who won’t judge you or tell other people…I mean, this consumes a large portion of your life, and I’m sure you spend time thinking about it in addition to the 2-3 hours. </p>
<p>Try the counseling center. You don’t HAVE to do what they tell you to do–but you should listen and think about it with an open mind. Who knows, right? </p>
<p>The idea about articles for your parents is a good one. Also, ask whoever you see at the counseling center for advice–I’m sure they see this kind of thing all the time, or at least situations that can be applied to yours. </p>
<p>So much great input! And all of it is saying to go talk to someone. You always have the option of not taking the medication or not going to the therapy. But it can’t hurt to see what they say. I know lots of people with OCD. There are some very effective medications out there. Imagine trading taking one or two pills a day for 2–3 hours extra time in your day? You owe it to yourself to at least find out. Good luck with this.</p>
<p>On a related topic, I just found out that I’m going to be testifying before the FDA at its hearings on the safety of antidepressants in adults on Wednesday(antidepressants are often used to treat OCD). I’m working with Mental Health America on this project; there’s a lot of very good information on the topic available at <a href=“http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net%5B/url%5D”>www.mentalhealthamerica.net</a>.</p>
<p>ucdad:
Good to see someone with some sense re: hygenie… No, I don’t watch daytime tv, LOL. I am actually taking a psychology course current, so that’s where my info comes from. It’s not that I wash my hands for a long time; it’s that I get done watching them and then have to do it all over again because of the some deficent the first time around.</p>
<p>I can’t go to my school’s counseling center for two reasons: a) it’s in the student health center–coughing people galore! It’d drive me crazy… b) it costs money and my parents would be billed, so I’d have to explain it to them.'</p>
<p>My parents havbeen particularly begging for me to look into treatments for months, but just no… I don’t need a label for them to hang over my heads. Not too big on being the “crazy daughter.”</p>
<p>I do have a wonderful psych professor (also a practicing clincian) this semester who I’ve considered asking for some basic advice (not real assesment/treatment, just a starting point), but it seems too embarassing. She really seems to think that I’m a great student and person and so on, and to kill that perception would not seem wise.</p>
<p>“it’s that I get done watching them and then have to do it all over again because of the some deficent the first time around.”</p>
<p>Languagegirl – That’s what makes it clear that we are talking about OCD. Please don’t be embarrassed to talk to your psych prof about this. It’s not shameful at all and will NOT affect her perception of you as a student and a person. (In fact, if she’s experienced, you will be far from the first student with OCD she’s encountered.) With treatment, you can distinguish between simply washing your hands thoroughly and the need to repeat it over and over until you “get it right.” I have a close family member with OCD and there really is a difference. It really can get out of hand and you can work with a therapist who can help you get rid of the obsessive behavior while keeping the healthy behavior.</p>
<p>ucdad -</p>
<p>With all due respect, everything you say is right – and completely beside the point. OCD has nothing to do with what is “rational” and most sufferers can’t be talked out of it in this way. Believe me, I’ve tried!</p>
<p>First of all, {{{{{major hugs}}}}} to you for your struggles with what appears to be OCD. I know how very difficult this must be for you to come here and ask for advice. That you have done this speaks to your awareness and your own concern for yourself. Good for you! It takes a great deal to come forward and admit that there may be an issue.</p>
<p>You are obviously an intelligent gal with much on the ball. Please do not make the mistake, however, of using your adequate functioning in other areas of your life (grades, social life, etc.) to brush aside what might be a considerable issue that could evolve into something that could ultimately affect those other areas. </p>
<p>If you <em>DO</em> have OCD, that does not make you “crazy.” Not even close. What it makes you is a very human person who has a challenge in her life that needs to be dealt with. Your parents and others in your life who love and care for you would NEVER cease to view you as the smart, capable person that you are because you have one aspect of your life with which you are struggling.</p>
<p>Please understand that the “label” OCD is not used to “tag” you but only to get you the help that you might need. As a former special ed. teacher, I totally understand your reticence to be “labeled,” but the labeling is NOT for purposes of punishment, but rather for purposes of help.</p>
<p>I do not think that you would have posted here if you were not aware of your need for help with this problem. I urge you to put your discomfort aside and go to the counseling center. If YOU are not comfortable approaching your parents with this issue, there are people there who can help and guide you with this difficult task.</p>
<p>I <em>really</em> hope that you make the decision to reach out to someone for help. If you were my daughter, I’d really, <em>really</em> want you to.</p>
Your possible OCD isn’t contradictory with the professor’s assessment of you and the two aren’t even related. You’re no less of a student or person if you have OCD, or are tall, or have a bad kidney, or are in a wheelchair, etc., etc.</p>
<p>languagegirl: I read your post stating your reservations about the counseling center.</p>
<p>I would not be surprised, however, if the counseling center were able to address your concerns. </p>
<p>Perhaps you could call first, explain why you are calling, and share your concerns with an appropriate person. You would not even have to give your name during the call if you didn’t want to.</p>
<p>Possibly the center can help you address these concerns. Please give them a chance to try to help you.</p>