Johnshade:
As I stated in my message, if the op can’t get this under reasonable control then it’s irrational and help should be sought. The op has some symptoms before a professional has applied a label though so we anonymous posters on the internet shouldn’t simply conclude the OCD label fits. The op hasn’t actually consulted with a professional yet. As I disclaimed, I’m not a psychiatrist and if I were one, I think I’d refrain from applying a label without a thorough examination.</p>
<p>I agree that OCD is nothing to be ashamed about and the best thing to do at this point is to consult a professional or two.</p>
<p>“I don’t need a label for them to hang over my heads. Not too big on being the “crazy daughter.””</p>
<p>Honestly, it seems to me that you are more worried about people thinking that you are mentally ill than you are about the possibility of BEING mentally ill. While I understand that it’s frightening, I hope that you’ll consider the suggestion that this is a backwards way of looking at the situation. Labels (or, more properly, diagnoses) are a much smaller burden than being consumed by cleanliness rituals and fears that are very likely to get worse as time goes by. You can be free of all these concerns and “needs.” CALL the health center and explain why you need to make an appointment to speak to a psychiatrist on the phone. A psychiatrist will understand your reluctance to come to the health center; they will be able to help you. Good luck!</p>
<p>She will still think you are a great student and a wonderful person, too. Talk to her immediately. Thinking that any course of action will lead to something bad is just your self-talk stopping you from seeking help. You won’t be stigmatized. No one you care about will think less of you. Take charge of this now, you can do it.</p>
<p>My mother has OCD and is untreated due to extreme medical phobias and control issues. (Phobias about doctors, hoarding, pack rat behaviors, hyper vigilance about pilot lights & ovens, checking and re-checking locked doors are all possible OCD behaviors too.)</p>
<p>She has gradually receeded into her own world and is kept constantly busy by the 1,000,000 things she needs to do each day. She barely sees her grandchildren. Her frienships are also crowded out of her life.</p>
<p>Her medical phobia is so severe that she even self-treated a burst appendix with tylenol, telling no one. Nearly died of sepsis.</p>
<p>OCD is progressive. It requires bigger and bigger energy be put towards rituals to provide sufficient anxiety relief. My mom has drifted from eccentric and functional twenty years ago to very odd and non-functional now.</p>
<p>PLEASE GET HELP. My understanding is that drug therapy can be extremely effective. People who love you may see the intrusion it is making into your personal relationships much more than you see it.</p>
<p>What can it hurt to talk to an expert and hear their advice?</p>
<p>You mentioned that you were worried a therapist would try and keep you from doing what you need to do and force you to do things you think are unsanitary. I wouldn’t worry about this and I hope you don’t let it prevent you from seeking a diagnosis / treatment–there are plenty of other treatment options outside of behavioral therapy / exposure (e.g. purely verbal therapy, medicine) and they can’t force you to do something you don’t want to do.</p>
<p>That’s true. I should have said “something other than garden-variety fastidiousness.” Please substitute that phrase for each occurrence of the term “OCD” in my post. The point remains that languagegirl should talk to a sympathetic professional and her psych prof sounds like the perfect place to start. I will say that I described her post to my family member who had a complete sympathy and “shock of recognition.” As she put it, it is the “something other” that is telling languagegirl that she “needs” to do something that, as ucdad has pointed out, isn’t quite rational. She too thought she needed to do certain things, languagegirl. Then she needed to do them more and more until they were beginning to interfere with her studies and with daily life. After treatment, she found that she could deal with these needs in a much more manageable way. She hasn’t found it stigmatizing at all and has found it to be a great relief.</p>
<p>languagegirl – As a professor (psychologist but not clinical) who has had numerous students confide in me about their various mental health issues (bipolar disorder, suicidal thoughts, clinical depression, anxiety, etc), I can tell you that seeking help when needed is a hallmark of a smart, mature student – very consistent with your perceptions of your professor’s current view of you. </p>
<p>You wrote because you know you need help – and help is out there – either behavioral therapy, medication, or both. Your compulsions are clearly beginning to disrupt your daily functioning and are impacting your relationships. It’s time for help and there is no shame in seeking it. We all need help at various times in our lives. Once you are in treatment, my guess is that you will be much happier, overall. </p>
<p>Please listen to these wise posters. You would not have started this thread if you didn’t know deep down that you need help. THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT, AND YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON if you can’t handle it on your own. </p>
<p>I have seen this with my D and I sympathize–but there is no shame in having this condition. The fact that it is often inherited should allow you to blame one or both of your parents (a little injection of humor here)–that’s what my D has done.</p>
<p>As others have said, the longer you wait to take action, the more difficult it will be. </p>
<p>Please let us know how you are doing–and please DO SOMETHING.</p>
<p>I’m posting here to make sure you’re aware I sent you a Private Message earlier today. It’s the first I’ve sent anyone, so I want to make sure you got it.</p>
<p>I have mild OCD similar to yours, and yes it has been diagnosed. Be careful of the health professionals you use as many simply write prescriptions. The first psychiatrist I went to talked to me for twenty minutes and wrote a prescrption for Prozac. The next visit he increased the dosage. I was unhappy taking the meds and my mother really did not want me to be dependent on meds for life. We found another psychiatrist, same reponse. Making a long stoty short I am no longer on meds and the OCS is under control. The truth of OCD is that it changes with the stress in your life. I realize that there may be periods that I have to take medication but so far, so good. The other thing I learned is that obsessions and compulsions can change. My handwashing seems consistent but other rituals such as checking homework and locks on doors have come and gone. My current obsession is with working out. Also, be careful of the diagnosis. It is important to know if it is OCD or OCPD (Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder). They are different animals and need to be treated as such. There are some good resources at OCF.ORG - the obsessive compulsive foundatio but beware of the counselors they receommend. Even though they are listed as experts in OCD it does not mean that they are right for you. Do a search on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for OCD, it works too. Your parents should not get angry with you about your compulsions, you can’t help it. Woud they get angry with you if you had diabetes? It is a disease.</p>
<p>Cognitive Behavioral Therapy worked in my family member’s case as well, and I would agree with daviban’s advice to look further if the first professional you talk to prescribes medication and nothing further. I forgot about ocf.org, which is indeed a good resource.</p>
It sounds like things would be MUCH easier if you would just quit fighting your problem and admit it - to yourself, to your parents, and to a health professional. It seems like the trauma is mostly about your denial. Help you and your parents have a happy holiday - admit your problem and agree to seek treatment. Please. :)</p>
<p>But I HAVE admitted it, and they don’t care… I’ve had various o/c’s over the past couple of years that have faded, though not disappeared, and been replaced by new ones, and they think this one’ll just fade (by choice, which they never actually do), too…</p>
<p>Well, you are resisting every other way out of them. I’m certain that they would ease up on the nagging if you could tell them, “I’m in treatment with Dr. Smith at school; we’re trying an SSRI and weekly sessions.”</p>
<p>I agree that your parents are being unhelpful by yelling at you.</p>
<p>I agree that it shows a misunderstanding of your situation to ask or expect you to “reason your way out of them.”</p>
<p>Here is a question: do you actually want to end or decrease your compulsions? Or do you just want your parents to accept them and/or leave you alone?</p>
<p>I used to get angry at my mom, too, until I realized it was beyond her control. </p>
<p>If you don’t try treatment, how will you know how it will make you feel? What if you feel much better? What if you free up hours and hours per week for enjoying life?</p>
<p>Your parents are yelling at you because they are frightened by your change in behaviour. They know it is out of the ordinary and it frightens them to realize something is wrong and they have no idea how to help you. So they yell because they have no control over “fixing” this for you. It is a very natural reaction because they love you and care about you probably more than any other person on this earth.</p>