Ocd

Parent Cafe
41

<p>I saw the thread about what ever happened to…? (yeah, I lurk here frequently) and decided I might as well post (though I doubt anyone really cares). </p>

<p>I did write a letter to abovementioned psych prof., telling her basically that I thought I had this discovered but didn’t want to persue diagnosis/treatment and yet learning about it helped me control it in some small ways, so thanks ( my regrets for the run-on sentence :wink: ).</p>

<p>It still makes my parents furious, though I did try a bit over break to appease them and my hands healed (they were cracked). I’d rather be safe then sorry, though, and the complusions feel a lot “safer” and on the whole, I’m fairly happy with my life at this point.</p>

<p>Thanks again for all you advice!</p>

42

<p>languagegirl, we do care. I am saddened by your comment that “the compulsions feel a lot “safer”.” It saddens me because you are “settling” for living with your compulsions instead of sucking it up, taking a deep breath, and jumping in to the unknown (for you) of treatment and eventual freedom from your compulsions.</p>

<p>PLEASE try to pursue treatment–you have no idea how much better your life can be, and please take advantage of the collective wisdom of this board, all of whom have had experience with ocd either in themselves or in people they love.</p>

<p>I’m sure I speak for everyone here when I say that we are frustrated that we can’t do more for you–but when you realize that everyone understands your problem and issues, maybe you can take the next scary step and at least try treatment and medication.</p>

<p>Best of luck to you.</p>

43

<p>We do really care about you.</p>

<p>Did you get a response to your letter?</p>

44

<p>You know, I didn’t, which is odd because I’ve emailed the professor since then in regards to another matter and asked if she received the letter (told her before I dropped if it off). She responded to email but didn’t say if she received the letter or not. <em>shrug</em></p>

45

<p>At the moment, then, you don’t want to seek treatment, you just want your parents to stop bothering you. Is that right?</p>

<p>Many of the posts so far express concern that things could/will get worse. I am therefore wondering: can you articulate (for yourself) what events or circumstances would make you want to seek treatment? I am wondering if it would be helpful to you to write those events/circumstances down for yourself, and to review them weekly. The idea would be that you promise yourself: if you observe things getting to the point where they are a problem according to your own written standard, then you will at least contact the counseling center and explore the idea of seeking help. </p>

<p>Of course, nothing is foolproof and you might rationalize not following your own instructions. Still, I am just wondering whether some sort of self-protective “warning” system might be worth putting in place.</p>

46

<p>I don’t have much helpful advice to offer, I guess, but I completely understand your reluctance to seek treatment.</p>

<p>I have trichotillomania, which is an OCD spectrum disease that causes me to compulsively pull out my hair. When I’m nervous or distracted or just plain bored, my hand will fly up to my head and I’ll start tearing my hair out. It was to the point where I had bald patches. But if I were to go to a psychologist, fess up, and start treatment… it would feel almost like I was admitting defeat, admitting that trich beat me. It would feel like I’d have a neon sign over my head that would define me as a trichster first and foremost, instead of a person. And I don’t want to be the face tacked on to a disease. Maybe this is what you are feeling?</p>

<p>At any rate, if you’re content with the compulsions as they are now, you probably want to keep track of their frequency and severity. Trich may be a different beast, but I know that if I allow myself any leeway and say, “Well, this level is okay,” it spirals out of control and takes over my life. I’ll literally be paralyzed, unable to think of anything else. So maybe you should find a way to monitor your compulsion, to make sure it does not worsen. Because OCD type things can really dominate you in a way you don’t fully appreciate until it’s too late. I never realized how much time I wasted thinking about my hair, pulling it and fondling it and obsessing over it, until I became pull-free. </p>

<p>Anyways, best of luck. If you ever want to chat, drop me a pm.</p>

47

<p>Leshachikha, just curious: How did you become “pull-free”?</p>

48

<p>I’m thirteen years old and I think I have mild OCD. I told my mom and she ordered a book for me and it helped me a lot.</p>

<p>I used to have everything in a certain order, I would touch things three times, and I would wash my hands constantly. Now I am pretty OK. The only thing I do now i wash my hands more than most people, but I just like to be clean. :)</p>

<p>I recommend seeing a psychologist. I’ve heard they can really help.</p>

49

<p>What was the title (and author) of the book?</p>

50

<p>The OCD Workbook: Your Guide to Breaking Free from Obsessive-compulsive Disorder</p>

<p>It came be purchased on amazon.com for $14.16.</p>

<p><a href=“http://www.amazon.com/Ocd-Workbook-Breaking-Obsessive-compulsive-Disorder/dp/1572244224/sr=8-1/qid=1169404124/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/002-3916620-5699200?ie=UTF8&s=books[/url]”>http://www.amazon.com/Ocd-Workbook-Breaking-Obsessive-compulsive-Disorder/dp/1572244224/sr=8-1/qid=1169404124/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/002-3916620-5699200?ie=UTF8&s=books&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>There’s great reviews as well.</p>

51

<p>VeryHappy: A variety of methods.</p>

<p>I had heard tell on some forums that some behavioral therapy methods worked very well. The gist was, you train yourself to make a motion or action incompatible with the motion of pulling every time you feel the urge. So basically, if I wanted to pull, I would clench my fists hard. This programs the body to replace the harmful tic (the plucking motion) with a harmless tic (fist clenching).</p>

<p>I also keep track of my urges, symptoms, and triggers in a journal every day. That way I can find out if certain life circumstances make me more likely to pull. If exams are coming up, for instance, I can mentally prepare myself for increased urges.</p>

<p>Third, I MUST keep my hands busy. I’m a fidgety person, and part of the attraction behind pulling is that it’s so tactile and pleasing. On my desk, there’s an assortment of little bouncy balls, pieces of fabric, magnets and textured paper for me to play with. I’ve also taken up knitting and the piano to try and keep my fingers occupied.</p>

<p>On especially bad days, or in front of trigger areas, I’ll wear gloves or hats that make it harder to pull. The computer is a trigger, so I have a pair of gloves next to me at all times.</p>

<p>The thing about trich that’s disappointing, though, is that although I can become pullfree for long periods of time (my record is just over a year), the urge never fully disappears. It’s a constant effort and a constant battle. But even though I’ll always have this disease and these urges, I can temper them to the point where I’m not obsessed with them. There’s still hope that a medicine will be developed that will help combat the urge or that more research will be done that will uncover the reasons why some people develop this compulsion, but in the mean time I just give thanks that my compulsion is for hair pulling and not something with the potential to be dangerous for my health.</p>

52

<p>Leshachikha and Jonathan1:</p>

<p>Thank you very much! :)</p>

53

<p>I have a cousin with OCD (handwashing plus some other stuff). He is 53 and has had it since his college years. He has always refused treatment. It cost him his marriage and a normal relationship with his two children and his ability to maintain any other relationships since his divorce. The cost of refusing treatment can be tremendous.</p>

54

<p>Arrgh… This is so frustrating! I stand there washing my hands, and I want to stop, but I can’t because what if I don’t do it well enough and thus doom myself? It takes so long and its so frustrating, but I just can’t admit it-- it’s like Lesh. said if I admit it, it will win, and it will “become” me and I don’t want that–I’m so smart and talented and just not so screwed up (also not as conceited as I sound)! Thanks for listening.</p>

55

<p>If you broke your leg, got a disease, had an infection, would it be “admitting defeat” to seek medical help? </p>

<p>Or, on the contrary, would seeing a medical professional under those circumstances be precisely the most promising way to overcome the problem?</p>

<p>P.S. Thank you for posting again.</p>

56

<p>OCD is probably caused by a chemical imbalance in your brain. So as ADad said, why not get medical help? You aren’t screwed up, your body chemistry just needs a little adjustment.</p>

57

<p>ADad:
<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=293270[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=293270&lt;/a&gt;
Proof enough why psychological disorder labels are to be avoided?</p>

<p>mathmom:
I personally think people have a tendency to overstate the biology of psychology in an attempt to make people with disorders feel less guilt.</p>

58

<p>Languagegirl: I almost sent you a PM over this, but thinking over things that Hanna and other posters have said here and elsewhere, I decided that that would be counterproductive.</p>

<p>This summer, I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Like you, I was afraid of being labeled by others, but even worse, I was afraid of what confronting it would do to my perception of myself. I have always prided myself on being a strong person, someone who could be brave when I had to be. Once I suspected I had a problem, I thought if I was tough enough, I should be able to just deal with it myself. I was particularly frightened of telling anyone else because the form my anxiety took was one that is easily misunderstood. I have health anxiety disorder, or hypochondriasis. When people hear hypochondriac, they think of someone who fakes illnesses to gain attention. Really, it is a disorder in which people genuinely think that they have serious illnesses. In fact, since anxiety can manifest itself physically, we start experiencing the symptoms we fear, further feeding the anxiety. When we are reassured about one disease, we move on to something else. It isn’t a joke, and it isn’t fun.</p>

<p>Eventually, though, I realized that my problems weren’t going to go away just because I tried to shrug them off. I told my parents, and some of my friends, and I started seeing a counselor at school. And you know, although my problems haven’t ended, I can cope now. There were times this summer that, even though I was working, and spending time with friends, and acting like I always did, I was thinking about my health for almost the entire day. Now, it is still something I struggle with, but just by talking about it with someone non-judgmental and objective, I’ve been able to understand what my mind is doing to me better, giving me the tools to deal with it.</p>

<p>I don’t know exactly how much of what is going on is biology and how much is personality. That is a philisophical question as well as a medical one, and I don’t think there is an easy answer to it. Maybe I do have health anxiety because I’m weaker than others. I don’t know. But I suspect it also has a lot to do with a freak medical tragedy in my extended family, with having parents who also tend to be worriers, with being a sensitive person, and one who loves life. Some of the same things that make me who I am in other ways also make me a hypochondriac, and I wouldn’t trade the other parts of my personality just to be free of anxiety. </p>

<p>Again, maybe I am weak. But I don’t think so. A lot of my classmates don’t have to struggle against the fears I have (although you’d be surprised: 1 in 3 students use the Princeton counseling services in their time at school). Being able to be carefree and just enjoy life isn’t something they have to fight for in the same way that I do. But I had a great semester, and I’m doing well in school, and having fun in spite of my fears, and I think that does take strength. Maybe it doesn’t sound like much of a victory to resist the urge to google a symptom, or to take my pulse, or even to have a headache and not let it ruin your day, but it is for me. I suspect conquering your OCD, even a little, would also involve small acts of personal courage that would seem like nothing to others, but which would have great significance for you.</p>

<p>There are people on this site who know who I am in real life who don’t know about this. I don’t really want them to see this post, and I certainly don’t want other posters to start seeing me as the crazy Princetonian who always thinks she’s sick. But I think it is important to acknowledge these things, and not to let our own pride and shame stop us from talking about them. So I’m being at least a little bit brave, and posting this, for your sake. Please don’t be afraid to get the help you need in order to take back control of your life. I am fortunate that my family encouraged me to get help before I wasted more than just a couple of months dealing with an obsession I didn’t even understand. Don’t confuse stubborness with strength. However you got OCD, you seem to have it now. You can’t change that, but you can choose to deal with it in the matures and most productive way possible.</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

59

<p>

Sweetie, this thread is really not applicable in your situation. In the above referenced thread, the OP was wondering whether it was a good idea to VOLUNTEER very personal and private information via a college essay. </p>

<p>There are some undeniable downsides to “labeling,” and it would be foolish to claim otherwise. BUT, the major purpose of labeling is not to stigmatize, but rather to enable someone to get help that is oftentimes very much needed. For example, a child within the school system cannot receive special services for a learning disability unless that disablilty has been diagnosed and labeled (this happened with my youngest daughter, and yes, she was not very excited about being labeled, even in third grade, but now, she is getting the help/accomodations she needs, so even she has seen the benefits). </p>

<p>In your situation, your seeking help for what you clearly recognize as a problem which is disruptive to your daily life would NOT have to be disclosed to anyone else. There is no more shame in a having/treating a problem such as OCD than there is in having/treating a more “socially acceptable” medical problem. Please understand that the biology of psychology is NOT overstated in order to make people feel better, but rather is simply reflective of advancements in the understanding of “old” disorders–in other words, the incorporation of the new developments in research.</p>

<p>No one can make you seek help. This is something that you are going to have to decide to do on your own. I truly hope that you decide to do this soon, for your own sake. It is one of those things that after you do the hard part and take that initial step, you’ll wonder why you ever waited so long to do something SO right!</p>

<p>I so hope that you decide to do this soon…many of us are pulling for you!</p>

<p>~berurah</p>

60

<p>ICarGirl: I feel really guilty now! I really appreciate your post (will be sending you a PM shortly, if it’s okay), but I definitely don’t want my problem to cause youany real-life problems at Princeton (Heck, I’m not even posting under my “real” CC screen name; this is an alias). Please delete your post ASAP if you want, I really, really don’t want my… whatever it is… to cause you any distress!</p>

<p>Just to clarify:
I didn’t mean to imply that I think people with disorders are “weak” or that there isn’t a biological component, I just think the idea that there’s no psychological/emotional/environmental component as well misses some major aspects of treatment, and I think most research would agree with me.</p>

<p>I think about getting treatment a lot, but then back down at the thought of actually SAYING it. I’m trying, but it’s so not easy.</p>

<p>Thanks once again for all your responses; they mean a lot!</p>