Thank you. I know you’re right. It’s what I need to hear.
We will just pile it all in there like they want. I just think it has the potential to look so much nicer than it’s going to. She basically wants all but those two chairs shoved against the wall in a big ring around a rug that is too small for the space. With no furniture legs on the rug other than those of the coffee table. I am no design expert by any means, but it’s going to look like it’s permanently set up for a book club with a random desk thrown in for no good reason.
And, if they hate it when they get in there, I guess they can call someone in to rearrange it for them. I guess I just want to be able to offer a, “solution,” if she does hate it.
The “solution” is to get the staff at the facility to help remove/dispose of/store the stuff they can’t fit. Which isn’t something you can help with- the triage piece of a new marriage (why do we have so much stuff?) is part of the process….
re: the 2 white upholstered swivel chairs - I can see why the CCRC decorator person said they’re a hazard. Because for an elderly person who’s going to, at some point, have mobility problems, chairs like that which turn around on a dime will be a fall/tripping hazard.
there’s too many chairs in the room
too many tiny tables and little pieces of furniture. Add in your MIL’s additional tiny tables and it’ll be a tiny table convention. If your MIL had a sense of humor, though, you could stage the tiny tables in a circle and put some decorative piece on a tiny table in the middle…like a fairy ring or something and all of the tiny tables are worshipping/paying homage to the statue/decorative figurine in the middle. But I have a messed up sense of humor sometimes.
the coffee table is too small for the space. Looks out of place.
1 of the plethora of bookcases could go to right of the TV stand
that bedside table that’s next to the TV stand looks dumb with the tablet/laptop on top of it. Like…what is that for?
should instead have side table between couch and leather recliner. But should be a more substantial side table, not a tiny one meant for a small bedroom. Put laptop/tablet on that instead.
that circular tiny table that’s just to left of TV stand? My MIL had FIVE OF THOSE! 3 in her family room and 2 in her primary bedroom. For the love of all that is holy…
And here’s this lovely number. There’s a matching one of this in the garage. I really really don’t like the Ethan Allen style of fancy wingback chairs. I’ve sat in this chair a lot in MIL’s house. She had those chairs for years, but they are NOT antiques and are not valuable. AND they are some of the most UNCOMFORTABLE things to sit in! Yet here it sits at our house. Heaven help us all.
I really don’t think the CCRC staff does this. Mil and Bob have taken some small stuff to a donation place themselves. I know when they had that sofa delivered they paid the delivery people extra to haul - get this - another desk away for them. Paid them extra to do it.
This is correct in my experience. Nor can the PT or OT take anything out. We generally bring in a family member (some lucky son or daughter) and make recommendations and let the family duke it out.
Can’t tell you how many times family members are sneaking crap out during my visits. Trying to avoid a conflict.
I gotta say though, Bob and MILs place looks like the Taj Mahal compared to the places I see. You can actually see the floor!
Personally, I recommend you not try to fit things in for them. Just cram it into an unused room and let them figure it out.
It is not the “stuff” that is the problem. It is their emotional attachment to the stuff. And only they can prioritize which spindly leg table gets to stay.
We found that members of the custodial staff are happy to hang out for an hour after their shift ends. Cash works wonders. They have access to the hauling/lifting/moving equipment, and usually “know a guy with a truck”.
That’s who we called when the GINORMOUS china cabinet blocked access to the fridge. Sometimes the resident has to actually see the dimensions in real life– not just measurements on a page!
I like a good spindly table for plants - but not a dozen! I mean the one pic you have above has 3 or 4 alone in it - and they aren’t even cohesive in the least! Just random.
Looking at the floor plan for their place again, geez it’s a generous size place! One room should be designated as overflow for the extra furniture that doesn’t have a current spot in the floor plan. The den? The breakfast nook? I know none of that is convenient but there is something wrong with that much sq footage, 2 people living there and no room to put anything.
The room marked as the den/third bedroom serves as Bob’s office. You know, an office with a DESK in it. Because, one can never have too many desks. It’s crammed full of bookcases and books and papers. A mess.
Remember, he moved out there with wife #3, so he has been in that house something like 13-14 years. I’m sure wife #3’s children claimed her nicest furnishings when she died, but I know there are pieces still there that came from her because mil has said so.
Bob & mil bought a new table and chairs for the breakfast nook and two new counter stools for that peninsula in the kitchen. There’s a secretary in the kitchen, too. There are no unused rooms. I think our best bet is to either stick anything that just won’t fit in the garage or line it up along that one long wall that runs behind the living and dining rooms. Though, that is where the buffet and the two extra dining chairs are going. If we put stuff in the garage, she won’t be able to get her car in, I don’t think. Despite their cleaning it out, I think her car just barely fits even now.
When they moved into CCRC, dad ordered new furniture but fortunately my older brother was able to cancel and older sister was able to just have them move a FEW select pieces that would fit into their new space. I believe she told them they could get more later if they wished. As mom ended up needing walker and later a wheelchair, we were very glad it was not overly full of stuff.
Probably, but idk if we can get all the extra pieces to fit in there. It’s pretty small, and, IMO, they want too much stuff actually placed in that room as well. There should be one sort of open corner, though.
Let’s just say, it’s not going to be looking showroom ready when they get there. Mil also texted us that they had to stash many random pieces all over because they cleaned some of their floors while they were gone. No idea what we will encounter when we get over there tonight to get a grasp on the lay of the land. I cleared that with her because I don’t want to walk in there 15 minutes before the movers arrive tomorrow morning.
The floor plan of Bob’s house looks like it’s a pretty large home. If 2 retirees can’t figure out a way to fit their stuff in a 3 BR house, then they have too much stuff. But that’s not something that anybody else can fix for them.
I second the suggestion to just line up the extra furniture pieces along a way and call it a day.
100%.
Heaven help us all.