The owner of the boat is responsible for maintenance. He needs to have all hoses, seals, etc checked if he doesn’t want a sinking (which many of us think might be preferable than him tooling around with his extensive limitations). Since he’s the owner, yes, he is responsible for the boat taking in water if he’s not doing the maintenance or hiring someone to do it.
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There is paperwork. It outlines who is responsible for what. No marina is taking on the liability for dozens of boats on a handshake.
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I leave on Thurs, Pizza party at the Elks Club on Friday night with special guest star Elvis. Then on saturday a boat tour on a party boat (Bob isn’t driving) and the dinner party on Saturday.
My Bob would be a Roger or a Jerry, but if I didn’t marry one in hs I doubt I would find them more desirable now. Maybe the Elvis?
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It’s a boat. Stuff happens. This is regular stuff for boat people.
The tires on your car blow out. Gonna sell the car? Fire the driver ?(heck no! it’s maybe me!)
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I LOL’d at the thought of Bob driving your party boat. Hoping the toilet works for you.
Maybe start a reunion thread when you get back! My HS/college bf was a Rick. He proposed, and I count my lucky stars that I was smart enough to say no when I was 19. From what I gather from FB, we most certainly took our lives in different directions.
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My HS BF was having challenges when we broke up after HS and he married one of his McDonald’s coworkers. He’s had more than a marriage since but we’ve lost touch once I convinced him I was VERY happily married (H told me that was all it would take & he was right).
I don’t think you are going to burn in hell. I think that is definitely part of it.
But, in defense of Bob (really in defense of all declining people), it must be awfully frustrating losing the ability to do something that is at the core of your identity. He’s already lost the ability to sail.
I play classical guitar, and I belong to this huge FB group called, “Old Guitar Pickers.” It’s really heart-wrenching to see comments where members are lamenting losing their ability to play. Playing the guitar is a big part of my identity. It would be (will be) terrible when that goes. Just like I imagine it’s hard for Bob to come to grips with the fact that something he loves doing is just all too much for him now.
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Yes, my mom was an avid reader, swimmer, walker and piano player (played show tunes). Gradually, she lost the ability to do each of those things and I’m sure it saddened her (as it saddened each of us, her kids. She became less and less able to follow simple plots, but fortunately remembered basic plots & arias of operas she loved, so we played those for her and she seemed happy. Both mom and dad were longtime golfers too but they ended up stopping that at some point as well. 
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It’s definitely hard!
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That’s very compassionate, @Hoggirl. It’s so exasperating to watch elders keep trying to do things that are now nearly impossible for them (esp involving safety!).
But feeling empathy for those elders (and their loss of self/skills) seems hard to come by for a lot of people - good for you.
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I agree…but didn’t @Hoggirl say that this boat hadn’t been used in five years or so?
I do think Bob is experiencing aging things that are affecting his life. I’m sure at one point, boating was at the core of his life…but not in the recent past.
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Yes. The boat had been inoperable for five years per mil. Engines, generator, were all replaced. Perhaps whatever caused the toilet situation had not been updated. Mil says the, “tank,” needed to be emptied more frequently. But, there may be more to it than that that she either doesn’t know/understand or didn’t communicate. 
How much did they use the toilet on this boat? They didn’t go out in it very much, and for very long. And they didn’t have 20 people with them. The tank needs to be emptied before it’s totally full, right? Was this something that wasn’t done when the boat was readied for use? Or what?
How would they have filled that tank with their small amount of usage.
I will say…every boat owner I know empties this at the end of each sailing.
My personal opinion. Bob knew how to use the boat 5 years ago. He thought things would go like they did before. Except that he’s not the same person he was 5 years ago and that’s sad.
Not remembering how the generator works, how it probably has to be primed. And how the toilet has to be emptied or the lines deteriorate. Who knows?
The best scenario is that he will bluff that he remembers but will wait until his son can go out on the boat.
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I have no idea. The last time I remember their going out on it was around Father’s Day. That was when his daughter and grandson were in town. There were five of them out then.
I agree that it seems like it should be dumped after every usage. But I know nothing about boats or their toilets.
Per mil, Bob has the folks at the marina on a, “schedule.” I can only ask so many questions. My assumption is that Bob doesn’t want to handle that task. So, he pays someone to do it. Or he thinks he has that set up. Maybe he does, and they are failing. I just don’t know.
I’d really like to know what the son and his wife think about all of this.
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This is the first thing I agree with Bob about!
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Bob’s kids should care about this more than you do. I just hope your MIL is not using her money to help fix this problem.
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This.
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And here we are, talking about Bob’s toilet 
. 
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What a coincidence that you posted this when you did! DH is a classical/flamenco guitarist. He played at restaurants when he was in college. One time he saw Andres Segovia walking through the student union at UW Madison and called out “Maestro!” because he knew that was the appropriate greeting. Segovia did a doubletake and talked to him and signed some sheet music. Later, the leader of Segovia’s orchestra heard DH play and offered him a scholarship to Segovia’s school in Spain. DH turned it down (fortunately, or I would never have met him!), but needless to say, he was quite an accomplished guitarist.
With DH’s memory issues, he gets frustrated, but our daughter encouraged him, and the last few months he’s been practicing daily after years away from guitar. I found a teacher for him, and his first lesson is today. I have rarely seen him this excited or happy. I’m just praying it goes well for him.
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