That’s really great! I do think practice is a big component to preserving capabilities for music… and more.
It really is! @MaineLonghorn - I hope he and the teacher are a good match!
I’m just a hobbyist, but I have played since I was six. I studied until 17. I considered majoring in performance, but decided that would not let me achieve my financial goals.
Yes, I thought about majoring in piano performance but didn’t for the same reason! Especially since I am NOT a teacher.
One of my HS friends is still teaching piano in her late 60s. She’s very popular and hard to get a space so my sister’s kids have passed their one slot between the grandkids. She’s very talented & I’m sure great with kids.
The mind is a crazy thing and often a skill learned in childhood comes right back with muscle memory (both brain and fingers).
I was playing bridge with a woman who has some dementia. She is still and excellent bridge player. She might forget the conversation we just had, but can still keep track of all the cards.
How your husband does well and you are all entertained shortly with his playing.
My dad used to be able to keep track of everyone’s strokes for several rounds of golf, even when he had dementia for other parts of his life. It was important to him, because he had to keep track of who was winning & losing the best (they bet on every hole). It was way more figuring than we could handle!
Even some people with rather severe dementia sometimes find music to be a nice bridge and they can remember it and it brings them comfort and peace.
How did the guitar lesson for your H go, @MaineLonghorn?
Oh, thanks for asking! It went really well. I think DH and the teacher are a good fit. DH seems happier and more energetic!
I’m going to encourage him to take the new recorder/transcriber I bought. He can get a full transcription or a summary if he wants, and that way he can remember what the teacher says each week.
I should start playing piano again!!
We need a CC parent musicians thread!
That’s awesome- glad it went so well!
Well, mil went to the pain management doctor. Discussion about implanting a device. She has NO idea what it’s called. When asked about it, the process, the procedure, etc, texted, “I didn’t write down the name of it.” Gee, if you’d let me go with you, we’d know! So hard not to snark, “Oh? Bob didn’t write it down?” Of course not. He can’t see! Or hear! I’m not trying to take his place at her appointments. My going doesn’t preclude his presence, but they are not equipped to navigate this.
They have to get insurance approval before they can proceed (even for the trial), and the doctor said it might be Thanksgiving before anything could happen. And, her recent pain is hip pain!! Also news to us.
We think it’s an intrathecal pain pump. Our reading indicates that full recovery from the procedure is six weeks with much assistance needed the first week. No bending, lifting, or twisting. My concern is that Bob will not be willing and/or able to assist her. The rumor on the street was that he told Wife #4 he couldn’t take care of her (after she had knee replacement, I think), and that was what caused her to dump him. Notwithstanding the fact that she had nursed him through two hip replacements during their marriage.
I don’t know how the CCRC handles acceptance into rehab when it shouldn’t be necessary if there is a spouse who won’t assist.
Yikes.
Does the Community allow you to hire one of the CNA’s while still in independent living? I know a lot of families do that either for a short stint recovery or while waiting for a bed/unit to open up.
I don’t know the answer to that.
I do know that they are adding onto their AL section. Apparently, it is and has been at capacity. Supposedly, there are some in independent living who should be in AL, and they are having to provide assistance in the IL sections. Which is what prompted them to increase the AL living space.
Not to play a doctor but do we know what the pain is caused by? This device sounds like a big “first “ step to take! Are there other options??
She has tried injections three different times, and she is currently on Gabapentin. She keeps asking to up her dose on that, so I think that is what precipitated this appointment?? She has been seen by an ortho who referred her to the pain management doc. Then, she saw a neurosurgeon. Not sure if he’s the one who wanted her to look into this device? She is, apparently, not a candidate for surgery.
Sil and I both thought it was back pain she was having. Only yesterday did she write, “hip pain.”
She said they x-rayed her hips yesterday and, “they showed nothing abnormal.”
No idea if she’s gotten results from her bone density scan and/or if those results have been discussed with her. No idea if she has shared the abrupt stoppage of the Prolia with this pain management doctor.
She needs a better advocate than Bob. I know she has NO idea what the recovery looks like. If I’d been there, I would have asked what recovery looks like. And then I would have looked at Bob in front of the doctor and directly asked, “Are you prepared to take care of her if she has this done?”
I think if Bob weren’t in the picture she would let me go with her. Of course, if Bob weren’t in the picture, she wouldn’t have left her town and sil could go with her.
Editing to add: No. I have no idea if it’s nerve pain (Gabapentin would indicate that) or bone on bone or what. That would impact the type of device. She has arthritis, stenosis, age-related scoliosis, I think some disk issues, and a Dowager’s hump.
Sorry I didn’t recall the details of what she has already done.
Knowing what you do, you could still present to Bob “are you going to be able to care for MIL for the weeks recovery will take?”
Maybe I’ll do that the next time I see them. Though, I think it would be much more effective coming from my dh, and I don’t think he would say that
I agree with you! But I guess at some point you also have to think about the end result - actually getting someone with her to secure information or easing your mind if this is taking mental space from you worrying about it. Sometimes there is “what’s right” and then there is “what needs to be done”! It’s clear you’re a caring person - I respect your choices!
Here’s the latest. Aren’t y’all sick of this?? I know I am ![]()
Our ds is coming to visit in about ten or eleven days. Mil and Bob have not seen our new house, and ds brings his dog, so we really must host them here. I let sil know our ds was coming and invited her and dear nephew, and they are going to do a one day trip (which is a lot because it’s three hours each way). So, we are all having lunch here a week from Saturday.
This was discussed in the group text. Mil wrote:
“Am I to understand that dd and grandson are coming to __________ for lunch on Saturday when grandson comes? That means you can come and see our CCRC home??”
And sil replied, “Probably won’t have time. A very quick trip“
I had TOLD sil mil would ask about this. Sil thought mil would not ask but then admitted I was right. Then wrote (obviously just to me), “Too bad. I already told her I wouldn’t ever go to Bob’s house”
I’m glad the request and denial came up in the group text so it was preemptively addressed. But, I fear mil will bring it up again when we are all here F2F. And she’s had some wine. I just really hope things don’t get ugly. I mean, they live 1.5 miles from where we live. I think sil should suck it up and go see their house (in reality it’s the CCRC’s house - lol). But, it’s sil’s choice to make.
In other news, we saw mil and Bob last night at our favorite Mexican restaurant. We know they go every Sunday. We thought they’d be gone when we arrived, and they were close (paying their tab). We were with friends so we knew it was, “safe,” to go. We now avoid just the two of us going on Sundays. Anyway, we went over to their booth to say, “Hello.” I said, “Hi, Bob.” And do you know what happened? He winked at me. Didn’t speak - just winked. I loathe winkers!!
I need something direct to say if and when he does that again. I’m thinking of, “Oh, Bob! Do you have something in your eye? No? Then why are you winking at me?” Ugh he’s just a creep ![]()
Kudos to hosting everyone at your new home when your son is town!
I’d personally stay out of SIL and nephew visiting the CCRC. That’s their decision to make. Frankly I think it’s nice that MIL wants her daughter and grandson to see her new digs. Too bad SIL doesn’t see it that way.
And just EWWWWW on Bob winking at you! I would be totally creeped out too!