They made it to London yesterday around noon. Mil posted some pics from their hotel and then later some of Westminster, Big Ben, etc. later yesterday afternoon.
I had the play wrong - they saw a matinee of Phantom of the Opera today. Tomorrow they are taking a boat up the Thames to Greenwich. Bob is very into boats/sailing/naval stuff. He was a founding member of a local sailing club. My guess is that, as is the case with doing the Transatlantic crossing 20 times, and seeing the same play over and over, he has been to Greenwich many times. Mil has been to the UK a few times, but Greenwich will be new for her.
They fly back to our town on Monday. I was mistaken - she has four (not three) nights with Bob back at the CCRC until the halfway handoff to sil on Friday.
I texted mil about our having lunch on Wednesday or Thursday. She said she would and also said Bob and she had thought they would have us over for drinks one evening. So, hopefully, both will happen. However, I’m not mentioning either to sil until they do happen. Or are about to happen. I don’t think she will mind my having lunch with mil (maybe a bit jealous that I hear from her F2F before she does about the trip). Not sure how sil will feel about our going over for drinks, but I certainly couldn’t decline. Besides, I have ulterior motives. I want to see his place, AND I want to observe their interactions after having spent this longer stretch of time together.
I am trying to tread carefully and not get triangulated with mil and sil. I’m not trying to keep anything from sil, BUT I could also see neither of these (lunch with mil and drinks with both) coming to fruition.
Nothing wrong with you getting to talk to MIL first as y’all have proximity, which your SIL has almost every day of the year. Can’t wait to hear how her visit went!
Yes, it does seem like the cruise was shorter than the suspense. Haha! I do hope she was able to have her tea and other things she had wanted. We look forward to hearing more — thanks so much for sharing this fascinating journey!
This is a great travel opportunity. We love traveling with folks who know the drill in a particular destination. (This Oct we get to be the familiar guides… taking our kids to London after a trip of our own last year.) It’s just nice to not have to navigate all the unfamiliar places and sights. Even on a cruise ship it would be a big benefit to have that expertise.
Who knows… perhaps they will just be travel buddies, even if the other ideas don’t work out.
Bob got a fever the night before (Sunday) they flew back. Mil supposedly woke him up every three hours to give him Tylenol. That was the plan anyway. They made it back on Monday as scheduled arriving at the CCRC around 9:30 pm.
He couldn’t get in to see the doctor at the CCRC yesterday, but he is going today at 9:00 am. I offered to drop Covid tests on their doorstep, but mil declined saying the doc could test today. Well, he won’t test HER! But, maybe they’ll send one home with him for her. Hopefully, that isn’t what Bob has. Especially since they flew on Monday and went to both the bistro and dining hall at the CCRC yesterday! So irresponsible.
I’m surprised the on-site clinic didn’t test him or offer him at least a take-home test yesterday, but idk how forthcoming he was in describing his symptoms.
They must still be getting along fine as mil didn’t ask us to come rescue her and bring her to our house when they got back.
Mil and I are supposed to go to lunch today, but if Bob tests positive for Covid, that won’t be happening. Also, I think sil will delay her willingness to pick up mil on Friday if that is the case.
I spent an inordinate amount of time yesterday getting our group text with mil, sil, and me sorted out. Mil could see my texts. Sil could see my texts, but sil couldn’t see mil’s texts in our group. Samsung-using Sil had started using her iPad for texting so the three of us could continue our group text while mil was abroad since mil said communicating on FB Messenger was, “weird.” Mil’s texts continued to go as iMessages on the group text after she arrived state-side. Many screen shots to mil with circling of how to turn off WiFi, how to turn off iMessaging, etc. Finally got it so mil’s texts are now going as SMS on the group text. All frustrating.
Not Covid, not the flu. Bob has a terrible cough and feels crappy. They gave him Claritin and Flonase.
I just texted and offered to take just mil to lunch either today or tomorrow or to Happy Hour tonight at a little bar Dh and I like. Dh has run group this evening, so it would just be mil and me. The four of us will not be gathering at Bob’s place for drinks tomorrow night.
Waiting to hear back from her. She needs to hurry up if she wants lunch out today. It’s 11:30 here.
We really hoped communication would improve upon her return stateside, but it has not. Sil had to specifically ask her how Bob was. She waited an hour and a half after his scheduled appointment to inquire. Don’t know how mil is feeling. She felt fine yesterday.
It might help all of you to recalibrate on what constitutes “good communications”.
I don’t think expecting instantaneous responses (texts, emails, voice mail, group chat/whatsapp) is going to happen- and even if it’s been your family’s norm in the past, it’s certainly not EVERYONE’s norm, and is not a sign that you’re being frozen out.
I’d be PO’d with any member of my family (or friend, for that matter) who considered a few hours response time problematic.
So maybe get on the same page-- which will reduce your anxiety level AND will give your MIL (a fully grown woman, this isn’t a fifth grader taking the city bus alone for the first time) some expectation of “Mom, we worry if we don’t hear back from you within 24 hours of one of us sending you a message” without hovering.
Yes?
The BEST thing that happened to me when my MIL went into Assisted Living was that SHE no longer expected instant turnaround. You’d call her back and she’d be at a lecture, attending a floral arranging workshop, hanging out with her new neighbors on the terrace drinking lemonade. What an incredible relief after two years of her widowhood when she had NOTHING to do but vacuum, call her kids and leave “call me back” messages, and watch CNN. We all had to get used to the new normal- she had places she wanted to be and didn’t want to miss book club to talk to her kids!!! So much healthier for everyone!!!