<p>A little off-topic but I was hoping some of you might have some advice regarding a situation that happened to me at work today.</p>
<p>I’m a young attorney at a tiny firm - the only female attorney. Most of the support staff are women about my mother’s age.</p>
<p>All of the attorneys had their photo taken today. I usually wear very little makeup, but intentionally added some right before the photo. My boss then announced that his secretary would be putting more makeup on me.</p>
<p>I said no at least three different times - making up various excuses like the makeup will trigger my allergies, I don’t want to share makeup, etc. In hindsight I really wish that I had stood my ground and not given in.</p>
<p>I don’t know if I’m overreacting but aside from the fact that using someone else’s makeup is objectively gross - this sure feels like harrassment.</p>
<p>I washing it off ASAP, as soon as the photos were done. But now each member of the staff has made a point to stop in to “see me all made up”. I feel like they’re mocking me.</p>
<p>Am I overreacting? How would you have handled this?</p>
<p>They shouldn’t have coerced you into applying the makeup and I hope you stand your ground next time. The whole thing seems weird. You could always tell them you’ll put on makeup for the photo right after they (the men) do. I’d never think to do this with a female employee. It’s certainly insensitive of the co-workers to pop in to see you all made up but that’s probably the extent of it. I’d put it in the same category as stopping in to see a female in a short skirt - not appropriate in the workplace.</p>
<p>You’d think lawyers would know better and refrain from anything that even hints of harrassment but apparently some don’t.</p>
<p>I think it is rude,ridiculous, offensive, and insulting that your boss would tell you his secretary was going to “put make up on you”. What century do these people think they are living in?</p>
<p>I don’t wear make up partly because I don’t want to and partly because I have rosacea and turn into a lobster if I put anything on my face other then the few tried and tested things I don’t react to. Even the wrong moisturizer or sun tan lotion can blister my skin. I would be furious if someone tried to coerce me into wearing makeup even if I didn’t have rosacea.</p>
<p>But is there a hint in there that you should take? Is it possible that you would look much better/more professional with more makeup?</p>
<p>Funny story…we had a female litigator who tried a week long case that was broadcast live on Court TV. Every day, the Court TV folks would put lipstick on her, because she normally didn’t wear any.</p>
<p>I can see how this would be disconcerting and upsetting. </p>
<p>I know, for myself, with my coloring and looks, that I would look a LOT better in photos if I had makeup on. And I don’t usually wear a lot of makeup. But having my boss make a big fuss about it and the shared makeup thing etc etc would not be a good time. There’s something about your post that reminds me of working in an industrial manufacturer’s plant office back in the 70s. Except that it’s the new millennium and you are an attorney, not the tech writer (as I was).</p>
<p>I think the next time (if there is a next time) either bring your own makeup in that day … or tell the photographer to retouch the photo. Or … insist that if it’s such a big deal, you’ll be going out your favorite salon, having your hair and makeup done by <em>professionals</em> and billing it to the firm as an expense. Or stand your ground until the professional image consultants dress and style the entire group of attorneys.</p>
<p>Boss was out of line. This should have been handled as a “I know you don’t wear much/any makeup but you would look more impressive as a lawyer with some” discussion before the day of the photos. He could explain the impression you do/don’t make on clients. You could inform him of the way things are now for lawyers- ie women of your generation (after talking to some of your old classmates).</p>
<p>This reminds me of things I went through as a physician entering practice decades ago. Making rounds in or out of scrubs I remember that the hospital nursing supervisors had better wardrobes than I did- but then as an anesthesiologist the first thing I would do at the hospital would be to change clothes… </p>
<p>I also remember talking to a friend of my son’s mother just a few years ago and finding out that she considered her well dressed physician to be good because of his appearance (she worked in a bank). So appearances do matter to the general public and “looking good” will make them think you are a better lawyer. Discouraging, but true. I personally distrust the lawyer or business person who is too well dressed as I think they are spending too much of their time on appearances instead of the work. It is also unfair that women are expected to improve their appearances with makeup guys never bother with (not to mention skirts instead of pants).</p>
<p>My guess is that almost every woman on CC who worked professionally in the 70’s zipped back to that time of breaking the glass walls/ceilings. I am frankly surprised you encountered this experience in today’s workforce.</p>
<p>Good suggestions posted. I recommended speaking directly, with a smile, and say—You start-and I will follow suit…my guess is that it will never be brought up again…'cause you have to treat stupid with stupid.</p>
<p>I am your mother’s age. I wear makeup. I work with a young lawyer (probably your age) who does not wear makeup. She looks great. She looks professional. Makeup is not necessary to look professional in a picture or in front of clients. </p>
<p>Lawyers tend to make their own rules about things and I doubt very much that this will be the last time you will feel uncomfortable at work. It doesn’t mean it’s sexual harrassment. Just people being insensitive.</p>
<p>If they continue to tease you about it, give them signals that you don’t appreciate it. You don’t have to be confrontational. Just refuse to laugh, refuse to smile, walk away. They’ll get the message.</p>
<p>barrons: I am a bit stunned at this. What are these women supposed to be accomplishing by putting on “moderate make-up to look good”? Whom are they supposed to be pleasing and for what purpose. Women and men are hired to be functional and professional in their working lives…no more, no less. A necessity to “improve” their looks opens a whole can of worms…do they need to weigh in, have perky breasts, touched up hair color, as well?</p>
<p>Boss out of line. Work hard, save money, and look for the day you can leave and open up your own practice.</p>
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<p>I never wear makeup. Never have, never will. I put it on maybe one every 2 years, and when I do I wonder why. I am no Jennifer Garner. But I take care of myself. I am down to earth. I don’t mince words or candy coat anything, And my no makeup fits my personality. Works for me,</p>
<p>As an associate in a large medical practice, I quickly realized I had bosses like yours. I worked hard, saved and planned, and left to open up a solo practice. Over 10 years I added associates that eventually became partners. After 15 years of that, I left and took my buyout, and hung up a shingle, It was still hard finding other women The 3 other partners at this point were men. When I left, not only did my patients follow, but I had more new patients than I could handle. After 11 years, it was the best decision I ever made. If I came to work in makeup now, my patients would wonder what the hell was up, </p>
<p>Stand your ground, and don’t ever let them put makeup on you again.</p>
<p>PS I am no beauty. But so many folks comment about how wonderful my skin is. My secret has been shower water and a bar of soap. And no makeup. For the last 50++ years. For some of us it works, and works well. I think that confidence and self-assuredness also can take the place of makeup.</p>
<p>I think it’s presumtuous to apply make up to someone else who is clearly objecting. I will say, when I had head shots taken for professional purposes years ago, I did put make up on. The photographer had small sample sizes and suggested using it. It did not create an unnatural look in the photos. </p>
<p>I do NOT think you should have been forced to do this against your will. Was there any advance “warning” that makeup would be suggested for the photo shoot? Just curious.</p>
<p>Lorelei has it just right. Makeup is a personal choice, not something a boss should be insisting on for subordinates.
I suppose that my naturally grey hair (earned each one) would exclude me from a group shot at work also?</p>
<p>I wouldn’t dream of skipping a shower or shampoo, wearing clothes/shoes in disrepair or deciding toothpaste and mouthwash were optional. BUT the day my boss tells me that I need to wear makeup in the workplace is the day I march into human resources (calmly, like the lady that I am, of course!)</p>
<p>It is not just ridiculous, offensive, insulting, etc. It is plain unsanitary and dangerous to one’s health. HSV-1 is known to be transmitted through shared makeup, cigarettes, cups, etc., and there is no cure. And there is other stuff, too…</p>
<p>I understand why one would want to put makeup on the subject being filmed (have you noticed that even male TV anchors wear makeup?). However, it is photography… Have these guys heard of Photoshop? </p>
<p>But if I absolutely had to put makeup on… I would have refused to use anyone else’s makeup. Period. If they wanted me to put more on, they would have had to send someone to the nearest department store and fetch me the stuff that does not irritate my skin and put it on the company’s card as a business expense.</p>
<p>Wearing makeup is a personal choice, just like shaving a beard or mustache (or growing one for men), or wearing a toupee. Would Barrons think it OK for a male lawyer to be forced to wear a toupee or shave a mustache before a picture? Some men would (in my opinion) look a LOT better without facial hair OR with hair on their heads. I can’t imagine this would ever be forced on a male employee…why should makeup be forced on a woman?</p>
<p>My husband disagrees with you. He sees women in makeup, and usually thinks they look bad – and prefers women who don’t wear makeup.</p>
<p>musicmom, Mad Men was the first thing I thought of. As in, I thought that type of behavior belonged in the Mad Men days, and we were beyond it by now. </p>
<p>I think your boss’ behavior was out of line.</p>