<p>The part that is particularly troubling to me is that you said no three times and he still insisted. Like an earlier poster said if he wanted you to wear makeup he could have made his case to you. After all he is a lawyer, I assume he knows how to argue his point. He needed to leave the final decision up to you. It sounds like he was determined that you would wear makeup, it’s almost like he knew you would resist so he forced the issue.</p>
<p>I don’t care if objectively you looked better, that isn’t the point. It should have been your choice and he was way out of line.</p>
<p>OK, that whole situation was handled badly. The Boss was out of line, and the Secretary was toad-ish in agreeing to smear HER make up on another person. The whole thing makes my skin crawl.</p>
<p>As for Barrons’ observation that women often look better IN PHOTOGRAPHS when the make up is a little overdone … well he’s on solid ground there. (Julia Roberts is beautiful, but she wears an awful lot of make up in those Lancome ads.)</p>
<p>Wow, this is just so creepy and inappropriate. </p>
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<p>I also completely disagree that this should even be a point of discussion. It is none of the boss’ business whether his female staff wears make up. What next, the length of skirt his clients like to see on a purdy lady? Way out of line.</p>
<p>OP could tell the boss he need to clip his nosehairs or that his ears are too big or that he is bald and should wear a hat in the picture, or is too short and should buy elevator shoes. Maybe he’ll get the message. How totally inappropriate of him to impose his beliefs on her and place her at risk of an eye infection.</p>
<p>I have been a lawyer over 30 years, never wear make-up and would have flipped out had this been pulled on me. I know the market is tough out there for young lawyers, but I would be making exit plans had this happened to me.</p>
<p>Barrons…“starswithoutmakeup.net”??? Are you kidding me? My (male) lawyer was in the office last week and let me tell you, he looked like hell. Please link us to “malelawyerswithoutmakeup.net”. That way I can forward it to my attorney and help him out.</p>
<p>Boss: “Bill, your wrinkles look like H*ll in the staff photos. Helen here is gonna give you a facial, and then fill in what’s left with some of concealer … which she has a lot of I’m sure.”</p>
<p>Been there, done that. Obviously not the make up thing, but similar feeling of humiliation. I once went to a job interview as a young professional. The owner of this business asked, “Why should I hire and train you, when I would guess that you will be pregnant in a year or so?” Not that this matters one iota, but he knew nothing about my personal life.</p>
<p>Times have not changed as much as I had hoped. This thread is evidence of that.</p>
<p>The OP is in a rough spot because so many attorneys have been laid off and it is so hard to find a job, yet bills need to be paid, but I have to agree with bugmom!</p>
<p>Okay, here is why I said that maybe there is a hint you should take. Appearance matters. It shouldn’t but it does. *But most employers feel that they can’t comment on your appearance…so they invent other reasons to not promote you. BELIEVE ME, it happens. * </p>
<p>We had a lawyer who was in her early 40s who was clearly stuck in high school with her long bleach blonde hair with bangs, inapropriate clothing, etc. She really did look like she was trying to be 17. She was very smart but had few clients. Many of us thought that her appearance didn’t inspire confidence - would you trust the success of your business to a woman who was trying to look 17? But no one could find a way to talk to her about it. She got a pay cut because she had few clients and eventually left.</p>
<p>Years ago, a local firm didn’t promote a woman to partner. They were brutally honest with her…they said that her appearance was offputting to clients. She was obese, had a sloppy appearance, and was poorly groomed. What they were saying was totally true…you have to GET the business before you can do the work. You may be the smartest person on the planet, but if clients don’t like you (for any reason) you won’t make money for your firm. Anyway, the sloppy woman sued her firm. She didn’t make partner, but she left her firm with a tidy settlement.</p>
<p>This was totally inappropriate and almost unbelievable that it took place in an attorney’s office in this day and age. I realize jobs are hard to come by, so you probably do not have the option to quit or sue. I would think about bringing this up in your next review. Something like, “I don’t know if you realize how inappropriate the make-up issue during the office photo was…”, etc. I was the sole woman engineer in an all-male office in the 70’s and definitely had to break them in. Fortunately, while they were basically insensitive, they were not vindictive and actually all supported my successes. They just were not very insightful. I found that when I stood up to them and responded to their ridiculous, inappropriate comments, they backed down and for the most part quit making them. On the other hand, I did have to have a tough skin as they often said the same things to me as they did to each other which actually made me feel they had accepted me. I can’t even imagine someone forcing me have make-up applied- especially someone else’s. I would absolutely say something at the appropriate time. </p>
<p>On the other hand, some of the poster’s here do have a point. While looks shouldn’t matter, they do. In a professional world where you are meeting with the public and representing others, you should take great pains to always look your best. You might want to consider booking a make-up session with a professional- most do it for free with hopes you will buy their products. Most are very good at it and will not over-do, especially if you tell them you want something minimal for day-time. Also ask some friends and family for candid input as to your appearance.</p>
<p>I’m surprised that people are suggesting that the OP get makeup lessons. She wears makeup and put on more for the photo session. She has a mirror and is comfortable with the amount of makeup she wears. Could her bosses aesthetics possibly be askew? Just the fact that he requested an inappropriate impromptu makeup session suggests that there is a screw loose somewhere.</p>
<p>There is still bias at law firms based on gender, appearance, race, weight, sexual orientation, being the caregiver of small children, etc. etc. Most lawyers know how to complete the evluation forms so that they aren’t actionable, but some pretty politically incorrect (and probably illegal) things are said behind closed doors.</p>
<p>It’s true that in some situations a woman without makeup is considered to be a woman who’s informally dressed. I would not think that a female attorney who was otherwise appropriately dressed would be judged as ‘informal’. Your boss might feel differently, and it’s possible that he believes clients would feel as he does. Nonetheless, you should never have been <em>forced</em> into it after you said ‘no’.</p>
<p>(I also agree with the folks who said that sharing makeup is a health hazard. Eyeliner and mascara, in particular, are excellent culture mediums for all kinds of icky organisms. When you bring this up at your performance review–which I agree you absolutely should!–you could mention that, if framing it as a health issue makes you more comfortable than framing it as a personal-freedom issue.)</p>
<p>I have to say that I onced worked with an obese female attorney who had long blonde hair and bangs. 20 years later she is still obese, still has long blonde hair and bangs, and she’s a judge.</p>
<p>But it is really sad that an employer’s legitimate concerns can no longer be discussed. A friend was the managing partner of a small law firm. For about a 5 year period, every single female associate they hired got pregnant within 1-3 years, took the full paid maternity leave with benefits, then didn’t come back to work.</p>
<p>It’s not a legitimate assumption that all women are going to get pregnant and quit, but I do think it appropriate to ask applicants of both genders whether they are in it for the long haul, or just a year or two. Not that the employer would necessarily get an honest answer …</p>
<p>Sorry, I think there is only one answer – start looking for another job now. This is obviously a part of this office culture and it will not change. You do not have to stay here, and I would strongly suggest that you move as quickly as you can.</p>
<p>Probably a good job for her. Judges don’t have to bring in new clients. But most judges make a lot less money than attorneys in private practice.</p>
<p>Thanks for all of the responses. I’m glad to know that it truly was ridiculous.</p>
<p>I do wear makeup daily - though very little, I dress professionally, and I’m not obese. I’ve had client’s request my continued work on their case, I’ve brought in a few clients, and I’ve never had a client complain about me - my work or my appearance. I have a lot to work on, and I’m not going to be appearing as a model or anything, but I don’t think my appearance should be holding me back.</p>
<p>It’s a little depressing that people automatically jump to the idea that if someone says I need more makeup I must be hideous and unprofessional.</p>
<p>Today it’s like nothing happened, so I’m tucking it away and hoping that it blows over. I’m going to put a lot more effort into networking and listening for possible leads on a new job, but I don’t feel that I need to do anything drastic at this time.</p>
<p>Thanks again for the feedback. I really wanted to be sure that I wasn’t overreacting.</p>