<p>A 21 year old senior in the U. of Cincinnati’s College Conservatory of Music (CCM) musical theatre program has gotten a judge to issue a civil stalking order against her parents. Her parents often drove 600 miles from their home in Leawood Kansas to visit unannounced. They installed monitoring software on her laptop and cellphone . The parents accused the D of using illegal drugs, of promiscuity, and having mental health issues. This is despite her having good grades (Dean’s List) and success in the school musicals. They informed her department head that she had mental issues that could force them to go to court to seek to have her treated. CCM went so far as to hire security guards to keep the parents out of the theatre during the D’s performances! When mom and dad stopped paying her tuition, the school gave her a full scholarship for her senior year.</p>
<p>I think this is the most extreme example of crazed, helicopter parenting I’ve ever heard. If you’d like to read the entire story, you can go to the USA Today website and look for the story titled, “Ohio Judge Orders Stalking Parents Away From Daughter.”</p>
<p>OK, I have no words. Can you imagine just how crazy they must have seemed to the judge? In short news stories there is normally so much left unsaid. </p>
<p>In comparison, I feel like such a great mom.</p>
<p>I could understand one overbearing parent…but it’s odd that the two parents allowed each other to go so far that they completely lost their relationship with their daughter.</p>
<p>I had the same thought. TWO odd parents…not just the typical one overbearing parent. That’s why I thought that they might belong to a cult or something. Something has given them BOTH the idea that this behavior is ok.</p>
<p>Not necessarily a cult but it could be a situation where dad is used to ruling the roost without question and suddenly his daughter is declaring his independence…literally…and mom is acquiescing to dad in all matters…(pop psychology 101) and parents are not happy…</p>
<p>My brother’s best friend (they are now in their 50s) had two stalker parents. They fed off each other. I will never forget that when their first grandchild was born, they sought legal advice to try to be in the delivery room, even though they hadn’t been in touch with their son in years. When the lawyer told them no judge would grant that access, they took to following their daughter-in-law (whom they had never met) everywhere she went so they would be able to be at the hospital. I don’t know if they would have been as twisted individually, but together they were off the wall.</p>
<p>“she had supportive parents who wanted her to excel in her music and acting career, so much so that they paid her tuition to the University of Cincinnati even though she was offered full scholarships to other schools.”</p>
<p>Not quite - they didn’t pay because they were supportive, they paid because it helped them maintain control over her life. If she had taken a full scholarship, they wouldn’t have tuition payments to hold over her - we’re constantly seeing similar situations here, where parents refuse to pay unless the student chooses the major the parents want.</p>
<p>Kudos to both the student, and to the school as well. They recognized that the parents were not in fact being supportive, and want the extra mile to possibly save her life. They thought they could control the school too - it would “look bad” for the school if she was sent for an evaluation - indeed! Glad they only had one kid.</p>
<p>I’m worried for the daughter’s safety. Since when has a restraining order ever stopped a controlling, obsessive individual from taking actions they justify as “their right”? When someone “belongs” to you, you have the moral high ground, thus laws don’t really apply to you. Usually this kind of behavior is limited to spouses/boyfriends/girlfriends, but parents have been known to hurt their children when they view the adult child’s actions as a personal rejection/assault on the family’s honor, culture, or traditions.</p>
<p>I really hope this young woman stays safe and goes on to have a happy life.</p>
<p>She was on a morning TV broadcast this morning (Good Morning America I think) and she said the last straw for her was when her parents did not trust her that she was in her room sleeping, they made her sign onto SKYPE so they could watch her sleep. Yikes.</p>