<p>What have you taught (or tried to teach) you kids- things that show some class</p>
<p>I tell my girls that when they are at a dance, and a boy asks them to dance, and they don’t want to, for whatever reason, be polite and you can say no, so long as you don’t dance that song with anyone else, it was hard for that guy to ask, and if you say, gee, no thanks I can’t salsa, then he see you dancing to that song, it is rude (just imagine if you ask the boy, he says no, and you see him ten seconds later dancing- blech)</p>
<p>IS that old fashioned, and what etiquette do you impart</p>
<p>I completely agree with the “old fashioned” etiquette - but then again, I don’t think that etiquette (real manners) ever go out of style.</p>
<p>There is something to be said for treating people with dignity - and that’s what you are teaching your girls to do. The particular form of that might be old-fashioned in this context, but it’s not an outdated concept.</p>
<p>I told my son that if he goes to a formal dance at school, he has to take a girl.
That may sound obvious, but you’d be surprised how many boys just go with a group of guys to these things or go stag, leaving the girls to do the same. Going alone is great for informal parties and dances, but it just seems rude to me for guys to pass up the girls in their class to go by themselves to a formal, as more girls usually want to go than do the boys. He’s found it very easy to comply with my requirement - hasn’t missed a formal yet and I think he’s taken a different girl every time.</p>
<p>Both my boys have gone stag or in mixed groups but without a specific date to some functions, such as homecoming. (They always took dates to prom.) This is encouraged at their HS so dateless kids can enjoy it, too. </p>
<p>I guess it’s old-fashioned, but I have taught my boys that if a girl asks them to dance, they must say yes. I was always taught that a girl may decline, but a boy doesn’t have a choice in these things. Guess it’s a bit sexist.</p>
<p>The main point of etiquette has always been to create a standard of common behavior in order to protect the feelings of others. People who enjoy pointing out to others that they have used the wrong fork, for example, have completely missed the point.</p>
<p>My kids went to a private elementary school that stressed good manners. Every morning students greeted the head of school with direct eye contact, a firm handshake and some conversation. It really did make a difference! They still hold doors, write thank you notes, and show an interest in people of all ages. One thing we always insisted on was respect for older people. If a grandparent was on the phone or company was at the door, my kids learned to drop what they were doing to greet them. As far as dating, we have taught S to drive to a girl’s house to pick her up - not to just “meet” somewhere, and to make plans in advance, not last minute!</p>
<p>citygirlsmom - also . . . the situation you described would be hurtful to any boy. It’s not being too old-fashioned to point that out to your D. It’s also just a smart thing for a girl to learn, if for no other reason than her own safety. You’d never want her to be a target of a some boy’s jealousy or anger</p>
<p>I just had a fun experience in a public library- tell me if I was out of line.
I was at a public computer- there are about 20 of them grouped in a central area, 5 in each row.
The girl next to me, who looked like she was about 13 but wanted to push 18 pretty hard, was not only typing furiously on the computer, but she was talking on a cell phone, and it sounded like she was talking to someone she didn’t know, because they were asking her questions about herself.
I was concerned not only that she was being so rude by talking in a pretty loud voice on a phone in a library, but also because I was worrying she was bypassing her parents controlled computer by using the library computer.</p>
<p>Several people asked her to be quiet, including myself, and she responded by talking louder. I was just about to ask the librarian for help, as some people were trying to concentrate, when whoever she was talking to asked her how old she was, and she told them she was almost 17.
I responded by speaking loud enough so her caller could hear me that she looked like she was 12. This made her furious and she berated me for butting in on a private conversation. I told her she was more than welcome to make it a private conversation by taking it outside, but by talking in a public place like a library, she was making it a public conversation.
( I have to admit- I took more pleasure than I should have at rebuking her)
But honestly- whatever happened to being quiet at the library? We even have storytime several times a week for toddlers, which I do not complain about, but it involves zithers and microphones and singing! I am not old enough to be a grumpy old lady ;)</p>
<p>I probably would have done the same thing, me bad…its amazing people will yell on a phone and then wonder why people are looking at them</p>
<p>I have imparted in my girls to always try and have class, that will last you a lifetime and get you through many situations</p>
<p>Sometimes, girls who act trampy or loud or drunk or overly flirtatious or “teases” or whatever may get the attention in the short run, but not any kind of attention you might want</p>
<p>Maintaining dignity, poise, and class is so important in this world</p>
<p>After seeing what some kids put on their myspaces, it is amazing what people are willing to share with the world</p>
<p>I told my boys that if a boy asks them to dance, then they are to say yes. Emerald - I love your library story! I work in a smallish public library and we talk about banning cell phones every other month at staff meetings. Many libraries ask patrons to put the phones on mute, but as you’ve pointed out, it’s not really the ring but the regular voice conversations that are annoying. </p>
<p>My kids arent’ allowed to cash any gift checks until they write the thank you notes first.</p>
<p>I give my girls the out of saying no to a boy at a dance, so long as they do not dance that song with anyone else, even their girl friends.
But, I do say, that they should really say yes 95% of the time.</p>
<p>i am glad so many parents still try and teach their children etiquette and manners.</p>
<p>They still teach manners here in the South! Although some students here need a crash course. :rolleyes:</p>
<p>emeraldkity4, you weren’t out of line at all. My mom is a librarian, and I can assure you that she’s said things a lot worse than that to problem patrons! :D</p>