<p>my older daughter has never attended a school where the adults use a honorific
some profs may go by prof at her school- but I don’t think so
I know Steve is a pretty common first name in her dept- so they may go by last names, but we haven’t had the experience that using a title, indicates respect so that would be a point that I would argue it depends on what the adult wants to be called</p>
<p>I also wonder why anyone would insist to your kids that all adults be called by a title and only after high school graduation do you allow that it is up to the adults what they want to be called.
Shouldn’t the adults have the courtesy to be called what they want before your kid graduates?</p>
<p>The reason I’ve given my sons to dance with any GIRL that asks them to is that a dance only lasts 3 minutes
In a gada da vida was pretty popular when I was in school ;)</p>
<p>(Teenager here)
I don’t think it’s bad manners not to go specifically with a girl to a formal dance. At all of my school formal dances, people just went with friends. Boyfriends and girlfriends danced together a lot, but everyone had a good time dancing and socialising with a lot of different people. (Certainly, I always liked this system as we were never allowed to bring non-students and I never went out with a boy from my school).
At my school, teachers and other adults were always referred to as “Sir” or “Miss”. A lot of people have said to me that this is old fashioned, but really nice.
As to always referring to adults by their title and surname, if I was introduced to them with their first name or they told me to use their first name, that’s what I used. There has been the occasional sticky situation over the years where I haven’t known what to call someone e.g. my best friend’s mum is divorced and I honestly didn’t know what her surname was until very recently, so I avoided using her name as much as possible, then began using her first name when it seemed appropriate.<br>
Parents always taught me to hold open doors, thank people if they do for me, and always say “you’re welcome” if you are thanked. I remember when I was about 8, my dad was livid that I held open a door in a restaurant and wasn’t thanked for it. My boyfriend pointedly says “You’re welcome” if he isn’t thanked for holding a door open.</p>
<p>What kind of situatuation are you meaning boys kissing a girl’s hand in?
I’ve only encountered that when my boyfriend is trying to look particularly chivalrous. :D</p>
<p>As for the dancing–it’s the girl’s choice; that’s why they ask. If a girl asks a boy, the same applies. There are too many variables to offer a stock answer. </p>
<p>As to the honorifics, my brother and I were raised to say Mam and Sir to all figures of authority and seniority…and we do (also handy when names are forgotten:))</p>
<p>Honoroific titles are what I am comfortable with, it’s how I was raised and something that my husband and I felt was right for our kids also. All adults were Mr. or Mrs. this or that. Do you think that’s a city/rural or North/South thing? Once they’re out of HS, just about everything is up to them and they’re pretty much adults. If an adult asks to be called by their first name by then it’s not my business. Before that? I’ve only known one occasion when an adult asked my fifth grader to call her by her first name and I told her that I preferred that my son call her Mrs. whatever. She agreed. I don’t make a big deal about it, and don’t quiz my kids to see if they are following this. I know when my older son hiked at Philmont the adults suggested that the kids call them by their first names but went back to formal names after they got back.</p>
<p>Acutally, all of my friends kids and my kids friends call us Mr. or Mrs. even the ones that are in their early 20’s. I don’t think any of us think much about it. The prof’s at my daughters college all go by their first names.</p>
<p>Ahhh, indagadavida… now that would be a long dance!</p>
<p>DramaPrincess- I guess that’s why I posted, as most people (kids?) would think it old fashioned of me to want him to bring a date to the formals, which usually does mean just a friend, and usually with a gang of 8-12 other kids. Like your school, they all dance with others (although kids from outside are welcome if accompanying a student) and generally hang out in groups. Our highschool is very small, and if most of the boys go stag just for the heck of it, the girls are automatically without partners unless they ask one of the guys themselves, which some of more confident girls do. Sometimes the formal dances are as close to a “date” that a girl might get in high school these days. It’s a quaint, if somewhat old-fashioned, concept! But then, so are “formals.”</p>
<p>I’m sure part of my thinking is that my son actually has to be a “gentleman” for an evening. Once or twice a year won’t kill him. Young men generally act more civilized when in the company of young women. :)</p>
<p>Kathiep it may be a southern thing. I was raised in the deep south and we always used titles. For parents friends and friends of the family, we used Miss or Mr. and their first name such as Mr. Tom or Miss Linda. As an adult, I still refer to these people as Miss Linda, etc. when I see them. This is just the social norm as is yes ma’am and yes sir. </p>
<p>I was also raised writing thank you notes. My grandmother was a big stickler for them. If people take the time to choose a gift for you, then you have the time to write them a note of appreciation. This was also done when visiting some one’s home for the weekend. </p>
<p>I always appreciate good manners and etiquette. At my university there was a shuttle bus system that was often very full in the mornings. Every morning when there were no seats left, the boys would get up and move to the back to stand so that the girls could sit down. It was such a simple gesture that occurred every morning but I was amazed each day that 19 and 20 year old boys were classy enough to do this.</p>