Old Naked Men

Parent Cafe
61

My son had a 180 degree different experience, at i think 15, under nearly identical circumstances! We were at a tournament and he had some issue (can’t remember exactly what, this was many years ago) and I took him to the hotel spa for a therapeutic massage. They made a HUGE fuss over him, and I specifically remember them saying they so rarely saw teenage boys and that most of the massage-seeking gentlemen were much older! I didn’t think much of that comment then, but this thread makes me wonder if there wasn’t some naked room there too somewhere!

Anyway, they whisked my boy right back and he loved it…totally fixed him up for the next day. I agree with OP that, here in America, teenage boys really are not keen on hanging out with a group of naked old men, and if the spa knew it had such clientele in the waiting room (and it certainly SHOULD have known this), it was not appropriate to put the boy there for 15 mins. Sheesh, these days, it seems downright perilous for a business to put an unsuspecting minor in a room with a group of adult naked strangers, even of the same sex, without at least some advance notice or parental consent.

62

The thread title alone creeps me out…and I live with a naked old man.

Poor kid. That vision is seared in MY memory and I wasn’t even there.

63

Personally never experienced any spa, much less an exclusive sort, where you need to change or wait with others. In fact, most were quiet, personal experiences. If there were many other guests, it wasn’t apparent except maybe at the spa front desk. This includes both coasts of the US, Germany and Mexico.

I think what bugs me is OP was at a high end place, not a gym or pool, where we expect a communal thing. Not open air baths.

I’d complain to hotel mgt about the treatment when they fussed about the cancel fee. And the (dismissive) tone of the phone call. Maybe less about my kid’s embarrassment than the way a customer was treated when an issue arose.

64

These comments are funny and thoughtful. This is definitely something S has gotten over - just thought I’d post because of the entertainment value and because I was interested to see if my view of what is appropriate is different from others. If I could chalk it up to a lack of training or attention on the part of the spa along with a quick apology and a “we will do better next time,” I would not have been as bothered. It was the defensive and dismissive attitude afterward that really got me, especially because I use this hotel chain frequently and I spent a significant amount of money during this stay.

BTW, this particular hotel seems to have very few Europeans - I spent ten days there and never heard anything other than English and Spanish…lots of NYC/New Jersey/New England folks. S said the men were around grandpa’s age, which is early 80s.

65

I’m pretty sure you’re not Jewish which means that you’ve not heard the expression “schvitz.” As in - a bunch of old men were taking a schvitz and talking about the good old days.

66

The Rec center in our area still has communal showers in the men’s dressing area. I guess seeing a bunch of naked men, all ages, wouldn’t have been a shock to me. When I grew up communal showers were typical. I’ve never been to a spa so I’ve never had the experience of the “relaxation room”. I would probably feel some aversion to sitting where naked men had sat and might have been curious as to whether or not this was expected or not. Life is going to be full of things he won’t be able to “unsee”. In the larger scope of things this is probably a minor one.

67

Now that I think of it some of the older women at my gym do the same thing - sit around in the buff and chat in the locker room.

Personally, I do not get naked at my gym. It’s less than a mile from my house so I change into my gym clothes at home and after working out do not shower or change there. The nudity doesn’t really bother me, actually it can be quite motivating - I probably work out a little harder on those days!

68

At my gym, almost all of the old guys ( > say 60) walk around buck naked in the locker room and many sit completely uncovered, manspread, in the sauna. I have never once seen a youngish guy (< say 40) do this; they always have a towel wrapped around their waists. I’m interested in the psychology of it. Why would old guys do this, but younger guys not? One possible explanation: most/many guys become exhibitionists as they get older. But, in that case, what’s the point? and why in the presence of not just old dudes like themselves but also in front of young guys? There’s definitely a creepy old-naked-guy-in-a-raincoat-exposing-himself-in-a-theater kinda aspect to this behavior, imho.

69

@greenwitch, forgive me if this has already been addressed (I usually read the whole thread before replying, but not this time).

I have been to a lot of spas, and it has always been that way. You get to the spa, check in, go to the locker room, get undressed, put on your robe, and then go to the “relaxation room,” which is really just a quiet waiting room that might have lemon water or tea available, some kind of water feature bubbling away, perhaps calming music. You don’t go directly to the massage room because presumably you’ve arrived several minutes early and they are turning the room. You wouldn’t be expected to walk to the massage table naked; that’s why you are provided the robe in the locker room.

Why these particular men were sitting around buck naked is beyond me, since it wasn’t a sauna or anything.

70

"I have been to a lot of spas, and it has always been that way. You get to the spa, check in, go to the locker room, get undressed, put on your robe, and then go to the “relaxation room,” which is really just a quiet waiting room that might have lemon water or tea available, some kind of water feature bubbling away, perhaps calming music. You don’t go directly to the massage room because presumably you’ve arrived several minutes early and they are turning the room. "

I agree. This is always how I’ve seen / experienced it as well. People may be chatting, but typically in hushed voices. It’s a way station til the masseuse “picks you up”, not a destination.

71

I’ve always found it very funny that even though the older generation has a reputation for being more conservative sexually than the younger one, it’s the teens and young women who are dancing around under towels trying to get dressed while the 80 years sit around with nothing on and chat. DH says it’s exactly the same in the men’s locker room except they have gang showers so no one can really cover up the whole time unless they shower in their swim suits.

I grew up with a sauna in the yard of a summer place in Vermont and racing from it to the brook with no clothes on was part of the fun. Lots of nude swimming holes in Vermont too.

I can understand the spa not warning your son. I’m sure it never occurred to them it was an issue. But why they didn’t apologize and offer you your money back I can’t imagine. That’s just what you do when the customer is unhappy, whether you think it is justified or not.

72

@rhandco, no when you have a therapeutic need, YOU go to a chiropractor perhaps. I’ve been to chiropractors, and they do adjustments; they don’t do anything for sore or tight muscles. Many people enjoy and benefit from massage therapy. And you get those from reputable spas and massage therapy clinics, you DON’T get them at a “massage parlor.” There is nothing creepy or sketchy about legitimate massage therapy, though certainly people who are not comfortable with them are well within their rights to take a pass.

73

I go to many spas around the world. The spas I have been to, ladies get in and out of their clothes in the locker/dressing room. Most spas require bathing suits when going into pool and hot tub. The relaxation room is a quiet room (speaking is kept at a very low level) and it is considered a public room where robes are required, and more often than not they are co-ed because many couples get treatments together. I don’t think it is sanitary to be sitting/lying down on a chair without clothes on (unless they wash the cover after every use). Sanitary aside, I don’t think I would want to be looking at anyone’s body when I am relaxing.

74

^^^^
Unless of course it was someone like Pietro Boselli… :slight_smile:

75

Legitimate therapeutic massage places will also give you an option to keep the clothes on, as much as you like or as little as you like, and the therapist will not touch any part of the body you are not comfortable with to be touched nor will the therapist touch any “verboten” areas even if a creepy customer wanted to.

My concern would be with the overall hygiene practices at this place: if people are allowed to sit with their naked butts on cushions that are not changed between customers, that is just ewww… I would mention the incident in a review to warn others that this is what can be expected to be seen at the spa; I would not rant about how icky it made someone feel. Just the facts; no extra emotions, as if you are writing summary of your case for a judge. And give the place as many or as few stars as you think it deserves overall.

76

I’ve just never been to one where they didn’t take you to your massage room. I find this idea you have to go sit with others while they turn the room (or the masseuse finishes the prior client) to be odd and not “relaxation.” I’ve waited in the front area, with the lemon water, soft music, some incense-y scents, etc.

And OP said it was a 1k+per day hotel.

77

I do use spa’s relaxation room, and many of those rooms are truly relaxing with beautiful views, fireplace, waterfall, etc. It is especially nice between treatments. Sometimes I will book 2-4 treatments in one days and if they are not one after another I would lye in the relaxation room for an hour or so. If it is lunch time I would have my lunch there too.

78

I’m going spa-ing with oldfort.

79

I have two memories about naked women that are burned in my memory and frightened me at the time.
I saw my mother naked when she was about 50-60 yrs old. She had always been super tiny. What I saw was her belly fat! I shocked me and frightened me for the future.
Second was my MIL when she was about 60 and pulled her pants down (totally unexpected) in our kitchen to show Dr.H a rash she had on her thigh. I cringed at her wrinkled loose skin.

Now, of course I have both :-O. I just was so unhappy to see how this aging thing was going to come down.
Silly, shallow perhaps but you never think your body is going to “look like that”.
And, yes, the aging body is beautiful in the proper context…maybe just not in my kitchen :stuck_out_tongue:

80

First, I would not have made a big deal about it to the 16 year old, but I would have asked for the cancellation fee back. Any time you’re paying that much per night it’s more about guest satisfaction than the dollars.

Second, nudity is such an interesting thing. When we took the girls to Washington DC when they were 8 and 10, they were AMAZED at all the naked ladies all over the buildings. It became a thing-naked lady #45!

For a while we were members at a Jewish community center in our neighborhood. We’re not Jewish, but it was by far the nicest and closest gym/pool/kids area around, and they were cool with shiksas joining. The locker room was seriously naked city. The girls refused to go in the hot tub because it was filled with old Jewish grandmas who were starkers, lol. I was like, we’re naked under our suits, it’s not like there’s anything not getting wet just because you have a suit on!

To be fair, I’m kinda half yankee puritan, and half world traveller. I don’t mind being naked, but I also don’t think everyone gets to see me naked :). Women like to compare, and I don’t like that game at all. I think it’s a similar game that this poor kid experienced-walked in and all the old dudes were like, oh sonny, why not show off your stuff, what do you have to hide?

In my opinion, it’s sort of a primitive dominance game, better left for chimps. I like myself and I think I’m hot, but I’m not going to walk in to a sauna naked and try and either compete to see who’s hotter, or make other women feel bad about themselves.

What good is there in that game? None. A nice towel, some cucumber water, a friendly conversation, and a good massage is all I’m looking for.