<p>My ex-boyfriend and I finally agreed to break-up after 6 months and several attempts to do so. It was clean and polite. I think the finality of this was helped by the fact that we can’t physically be with each other (whereas before, we’d just end up having sex). Anyway, I can’t say I was devastated, but I do miss talking to him on the phone every night, and I’ll probably miss hugging him for hours at a time. Is it OK for me to call? I take it that we’re still on friendly terms, though he says he might have trouble being just friends (I might too, who knows). How long after the break up is it okay to touch base with each other? I understand it depends on one’s feelings, but how long would you wait?</p>
<p>It doesn’t sound like you’re dying to talk to him, so give it a while.</p>
<p>I tried to kill my ex…so…never?</p>
<p>I’m sorry to hear that.</p>
<p>I always waited at least a week (but we also weren’t where we just so happened to pass by each other any time) and then I’d talk (I wasn’t the one to call, I just answered after a week).</p>
<p>Did you ever find out what his secret thing was?</p>
<p>I am sorry sanjenferrer, all of my condolences. I know from other posts that he is someone that you care very much about. </p>
<p>However, you might not want to call him until you dont get the urge to call him everyday.</p>
<p>LOL @ Godsend.</p>
<p>Call him when you have something to talk about. The worst thing is talking the first time after a break-up and you realise that you have nothing that you really want to say to each other. 'Cause that discomfort will then carry on for ETERNITY.</p>
<p>JK.</p>
<p>But seriously, call him when you can actually start a conversation about something, and not just, “Hey! Hey. How’ve you been? Good, you? Good. What’ve you been up to? Not much, you? Not much.” And that’s it. Ask about a new class he’s taking or a new movie you’ve both seen or something ridiculously trite like that.</p>
<p>did you fin d out what the secret was</p>
<p>I got it!</p>
<p>Tell him you joined the Republican party to **** him off. When he drops the phone, you yell “JK!”</p>
<p>Great ice breaker!</p>
<p>No, I never found out what the secret was. He tells me that not even his closest friends know-- only his parents because it was “forced upon them.”</p>
<p>As much as we want our relationship to work, certain differences get in the way. This definitely sucks, but in my mind, we’re better off broken up. As with any kind of separation, we’re somewhat anxious and sad, but I think that’s normal.</p>
<p>Godsend, that wouldn’t work because we’re not that close-minded. I actually used to be Republican.</p>
<p>you used to be a republican?
until you turned gay one day, right?</p>
<p>what are you talking about? There are a lot of gay Republicans.</p>
<p>Ted Haggard, Craig Thomas, Mark Foley…</p>
<p>YOU’RE RIGHT!</p>
<p>Thanks San. FTW</p>
<p>Ummmm, duh. Why is your thinking so simplistic?</p>
<p>Anyway, I now know his secret (but now I have to keep it a secret, so I can’t tell you guys), and it’s not that big of a deal really. He now wants to get back together, but after all this, I’m not so sure anymore. What do you think? Should I wait a month and see if I still like him?</p>
<p>I say wait a month, you need to let things marinate. can we have a hint to the secret?</p>
<p>Let me be clear… this secret might’ve been a factor in the break-up, but it wouldn’t have been a major one. When I said “I’m not so sure anymore,” it wasn’t because of the secret but the realization that maybe, I’m better off with someone else after all. What he did was definitely serious but not as serious as I thought. I thought my life was in danger.</p>
<p>oh ok
but just hang out for a bit, if its meant to be, then you guys will find each other again
:)</p>
<p>I heard this song “My Immortal” by Evanescence performed at a Dance Show (with someone playing the violin, someone singing, and two people dancing ballet) and it moved me so much that I wanted to get back with him for some time after that. I never knew how hard it could be to get over someone despite their faults and annoying habits.</p>
<p>have you ever talked to him at all so far? was it awkward? what were you feeling?</p>