hi! making a return to posting on this site after coming back to lurk over the last few weeks, while my brother goes through the admissions process. i also wanted to throw out some general college life updates on his cycle + my own, as i had a very 11th hour college selection and wanted to reflect on my decision-making in case it helps anyone else struggling in the future. thanks again to everyone on this site–you were so welcoming and helpful as i went through this process!
first of all, i think my gut was right and i made the right choice. i like my classes, i like my friends, and while sometimes i feel like it’s hard to be independent from my family, it is really nice knowing i can come home whenever i’d like within an hour, instead of having to book a plane ticket. i remember having second thoughts the day after, and while i do feel a little bit of longing when i see ervin scholars i still follow on instagram having so much fun in that community, i think it’s more of a “i wish i could have had both” thing and not a “i should have done something differently” thing.
adjusting to college has definitely come with its challenges. i really like my classes, and i finally got insurance approval for the ADHD medications that work best for me partway through the semester, but it definitely took way more self-regulation and energy than i was expecting just to take care of myself. i had the typical “oh god everyone has way more friends than i do” anxiety about a month or so in, but i got past that and now happily have a small circle of friends + my roommates who i adore. i’m doing well academically, in a couple of clubs, and have registered for classes i’m excited for next semester.
my younger brother is a senior this year, and i’ve spent many hours on the phone with him and my mom trying to get him through the process of applying. i did pretty much everything myself in my own round, so my mom is experiencing the whole process for the first time pretty much. he realized a month or so after making his match me post that he doesn’t want med school, and would rather do a PhD in some type of cellular biology/biochemistry field. he did a handful of early applications, mostly to likelies and big state schools, and was accepted to baylor with $30k/yr and fordham (merit pending). unfortunately, he was rejected from washu ED1 on thursday. he’s understandably disappointed, but we’re trying to frame it as opening up more opportunities for him (e.g. to apply to RD schools he likes, to potentially commit to baylor and get to withdraw scholarship $$ from his 529 to invest as he pleases, etc). he’s now redoing his whole RD list (eek!) and i’m spending my newly free time doing research for him on what feels like every LAC on the planet. right now, he’s got ~30 schools he is considering for RD; i’m sure we’ll get that down, if only because he doesn’t want to spend his whole break writing 30 supplemental essays!
i really thought my whole 30 college application extravaganza was a strong argument for keeping his list small, but right now we have 21 applications total submitted with five more planned…hoping for an unexpected W during rd decision season, but if not, he’s happy with baylor + fordham + umass (although he’s only visited the latter; we’re trying to get down to fordham at the very least before rd decisions and have plans to see baylor during admitted students’ day). he should have some likelies in the rd mix as well (skidmore traditionally accepts applicants with his stats from our high school, as does rochester, and a few others either waitlist or accept applicants with similar stats) and i honestly think he’s the type of kid who will succeed anywhere. he’s bright, inquisitive, and i don’t think a single kid at our high school has a bad word to say about him.
back with a quick update! he got similar merit at fordham + was admitted to asu, umass amherst (no honors college), uw madison, and umn. he has now visited fordham and liked it (my mom really loved it also) and he likes umass amherst, so we have solid (and cheap!) options. uw madison will probably > umn because of the family connection (we’ve never formally toured but it’s my mom’s whole family’s alma mater so we’ve hung around campus). deferred from michigan and rejected UF.
we are now waiting on the 20+ regular decision applications he submitted. standouts for me for his rd list include urochester (though he submitted too late to get merit), carleton (though it might be too small), and emory if he can swing it. of course i hope he gets the harvard admit, as i think that’s his top choice, but he seems to have a good number of options that he likes which is the most important thing!
in my life, i’m grappling with what it means to be 40 minutes from home while my mom is the primary caregiver for her elderly parents and also my brothers, and how to balance my college independence with my desire to be there helping out. i also overcompensated for my anxiety about overcommitting last fall and joined almost no clubs, and have now swung back in the other direction where i’m balancing a bunch of commitments this semester. also angsting a lot about housing for next year and declaring a major next semester. i think i’ve gotten a better hang of living independently, though, and i’m trying to spend more time getting to know my professors and such this semester.
Thanks for coming back for an update. Sounds like your brother has great options already. It’s particularly interesting for me to read your thoughts as my D24 made some choices that parallel yours and with her increased activities is trying to figure out how to fit in enough sleep. She’s also experiencing pre-housing-day-angst, as I suspect many/most first years also are. Wishing you the best!
I don’t know how I missed this thread, but I am so glad to hear from you! I’m glad that college is going well overall, and congrats to your brother on the acceptances he’s already received!
If I recall correctly, your parents were big proponents of you choosing the school where you are enrolled rather than the other school you were considering. These questions don’t need to be answered here, but may help as you are grappling with your feelings:
Why was your current school your parents’ #1?
What did/do they want you to learn/do/receive by your attendance at your school?
What do you want to learn/do/receive by your attendance at your school?
How would going home to help with caregiving responsibilities interact with their goals for your attendance at this school? Your own goals for attending this school?
If there are any negative impacts to the goals by going home to help with caregiving responsibilities, does your family think they are worth the impacts? Do you?
Does your family want you to help with caregiving responsibilities?
You have been so thoughtful about your college search and decision processes, that I am very confident you will find the right balance of extracurriculars for yourself and that your housing decision will be the right one for you, even if it’s stressful as you deliberate. Appreciate the update and am continuing to wish you the best!
i’m probably getting a solid 6-7 hours a night, which isn’t the best but isn’t the worst? i don’t have class earlier than 10:30 which i think helps, and i’m starting to get a sense for how much work to do over fridays + the weekend to set me up well for my busy days during the week, if that helps at all. i started volunteering for CHANCE at pbha this semester, which is a tutoring/college application help program for local high school students, and am really looking forward to being able to use all this highly specific admissions strategy information i’ve picked up to help someone besides my relatives!
i hear the housing day angst is a rite of passage–i thought we had escaped it but it reared its ugly head a week before submissions were due! right now two members of my group aren’t speaking, but i’m trying to have faith it will all work itself out. our housing situation is a little different because of disability-related accoms, so i’ve got a pretty solid idea of where we’ll end up, which is both nice and also kind of ruining the anticipation. i’m currently trying to figure out how i’m going to prepare for a midterm at noon on housing day () without throwing off my whole experience but am confident i’ll figure things out!
oh, absolutely i know my parents would not want me to take time off, but it’s just too much for any one person to do what my mom is doing for a long period of time. our extended family is choosing to avoid all responsibility rather than help her out, and it’s just really terrible to watch her be so clearly overwhelmed. i plan on helping with college tours and driving to appointments over my spring break and hope that will allow her some respite. right now my plan for the long term is to cross my fingers that once my brother is off to college and my other brother gets his license that it will reduce the load on her, and go from there if not.
i think i’m getting the hang of the extracurriculars and have backed off those i am not able to commit to. it definitely feels nice to be staying busy although it can be a little hard to find time for other things sometimes (the battle for open laundry machines is real, y’all!). i also got an offer for a summer internship which is nice to not have to worry about applications for anymore.
i am sure i’ll be back over the next month as RD decisions roll in for my brother. right now fordham and baylor are neck in neck (although i think uw could be a contender if he sets the cost issue aside). to him, baylor has the stronger bio programs and nice updated science facilities, but fordham has the better location by far. i am resigning myself to the fact that i will not be officially free of the commonapp for another two years as my other brother will be starting to build up his list next school year
likely:
cwru
urochester
skidmore (he agreed to apply but refuses to visit. sigh)
target:
carleton
UF (rejected)
haverford
vassar (also refused to visit even after he took time to write the supplements.
uw madison (admitted)
reach:
boston college
claremont mckenna
cornell
dartmouth (i got to write him the peer letter of rec and i’m really proud of it + proud of him)
emory
ga tech
harvard
umich (deferred)
nyu
northwestern
pitzer
rice
washu (rejected ED1)
wesleyan
most of the reach list is only getting visited if he gets in. i convinced my mom that it was kind of ridiculous that i was choosing between so many schools i hadn’t visited last spring and so we’re making an effort to see more likely/target schools and local schools before decisions even come out. hopefully we push the timeline up for B27 and actually do visits in his junior year, lol.
i’m glad that i’ll be home for some of these decisions (weighing coming home for the evening of ivy day). i have opinions about some of the fits of schools on his list and also fully admit that most of the LACs (except carleton’s strong bio + the claremont schools) don’t really align with his interests in a school and that’s okay because it’s ultimately his decision. hoping for at least one surprise off his reach list (i would love a harvard or an emory) but i think he will be okay regardless, just sucks to get a lot of rejections in a row at the end. looking forward to some tours and getting to spend time with him before he goes off into the world!
Glad to see that you are volunteering - you have a lot to offer younger students! Even if you have had a peek under the wrapping paper and know where you will be sorted, and be it quad or river, I’m sure the day will bring fun surprises and delights. My daughter says it seems to always be midterms, but housing day is truly awful timing for an exam, especially if you have river run plans for the night before. Hopefully everything works out well!
Please take good care of you and try to fully immerse yourself in these special moments!
Thank you for circling back!
And congratulations to your brother , fingers crossed for CWRU, U Rochester, and one of the reaches.
It’s also wonderful that you share your knowledge with HS students, “pass on” what you’ve learned, experienced and decided.
Are there kids who could benefit from CollegeConfidential, while we could help?
I suppose you’ve already discussed it with him, but as the premier university for Baptists, Baylor is serious about commitment to the Baptist/Christian faith - you don’t have to be Baptist but the assumption is that you’re a practicing/conservative Christian.
Fordham is a Catholic university, with a serious, Jesuit core, but the environment (university and city) would be quite different from Baylor’s.
it’s a mix of tutoring (hw/SAT) and college counseling, so i haven’t gotten the chance to work with someone college-wise yet but i will definitely point them here!
yeah, we were all a little surprised that both his top choices ended up being religious and that’s def something my parents (esp my dad who was a religion studies major) are sure to remind him of.
admitted:
asu
baylor ($$$)
carleton
cwru ($$$)
fordham ($$$)
umn
umass
urochester (S (like half a $))
uw madison
wesleyan
skidmore
waitlisted:
haverford
pitzer
rejected:
boston college
claremont mckenna
UF
washu (ED1)
pending:
vassar
cornell
dartmouth
emory
ga tech
harvard
umich (deferred EA)
nyu
northwestern
rice
we have visits planned to cwru next week and carleton in april. he’s visited wesleyan but got a super artsy guide which turned him off, so we’re trying to get him to reconsider. my mom really liked what she heard about carleton’s vibe and community and med/phd acceptance rate (i guess med school is back on the table but not necessarily the goal still) and has now pinned the “carleton 2029” pennant they mailed us to our fridge as a bit of subliminal messaging. it’s a little funny to watch her go nuts with anticipation the day every decision drops (she’s put each in our family calendar)–given how independent i was in my process, she didn’t even know when my decisions were coming (except for ivy day) until afterwards and i opened most of my decisions alone. yesterday i watched her lock herself out of his pitzer portal trying to guess his password because he was driving up to go skiing and didn’t have cell service when the decision dropped and apparently she couldn’t wait. i think the embarrassment will chill her out a bit!
B25 is not into most of his LAC admittances due to the size + rurality + perceived lack of research opportunities, but i’m trying to sell him on wes + carleton. i think rochester is being underappreciated but the day they toured was the coldest day in the northeast we’ve had in a while + there were some issues with the rental car so i think everyone’s perspectives have been skewed a little, but i’m also not sure it’s worth the money. we’re full pay so most of his favorites (baylor, fordham, cwru, madison) are hovering around the same pricetag (uw madison as a state school is about the same price as the three he got big merit at). umass is probably worth reminding him of as an option as well. i don’t think he’s going in expecting anything but i can’t help but hope he gets a hail mary this week just for his confidence–i think the idea of getting 10+ rejections in a couple of days is daunting for him.
also! housing day update! got the house we were predicting + had a core memory experience at river run! i don’t drink so i carried a bottle of sparkling apple cider around (if any of my irls somehow find this post they will be able to identify me from this LOL) and took swigs at each house. one of my blockmates had the genius idea to skip meals during the day so if he got sick while drinking it would be less uncomfortable and then proceeded to do 1+ shots at all the river houses. he was okay, but passed out and we ended up calling him an ambulance. they let him go home with me around 4:30am so we made it for dorm storm, but let’s just say i was exhausted! i was able to push my midterm back as a result, though, and took a LONG nap after all the festivities. i feel terrible for the poor paramedics, who were frankly rude to the student EMTs who responded first, but were also understandably irritated with the dozen or so freshmen they had to cart over to mount auburn for stupid amounts of alcohol (there were ~4 beds lined up in the hallway where we were, and i made a friend who was waiting with another freshman). overall, since everything worked out and everyone was okay, i find the experience mostly just funny! i hope your daughter got the house she wanted but they really seem to be all good options, and i hope her river run experience was equally fun and less chaotic than mine!
Wow! Well, that’s an unforgettable river run experience! I’m glad your blockmate is okay and that others called an ambulance when he needed it, though sorry it went in that direction. I’m happy to hear you made time to nap and also got to take your midterm another day (hope that prof doesn’t repeat that scheduling next year). Also, smart move on the sparkling apple cider - my daughter was drinking pineapple juice shots. She apparently attempted both quad crawl and river run and had fun, but ended the evening before completing all 12 visits after running out of steam.
Housing day itself was far more fun for her - particularly sharing the morning’s anticipation with her group and then the house dinner. Honestly, she’s super easygoing and would have been content being sorted anywhere. For her blocking group, much still remains a mystery today. Turns out they’ll be in swing/overflow housing for the next couple of years and their future street address(es) will be revealed later. One known advantage they are celebrating now is that they will be dining very close to the yard. However, unlike other rising sophomores, there is a strong likelihood she and other mates will not live where they dine due to accomodations.
Hope you had a refreshing spring break. Also wishing your brother the best on his pending decisions. He has such great options already. Of those, I’m with your mom as a Carleton fan!
) without throwing off my whole experience but am confident i’ll figure things out!
, fingers crossed for CWRU, U Rochester, and one of the reaches.