<p>SandP: I agree with you about 18. mafool – we weren’t making an issue of it. In our family because we were living together and sharing all economic responsibilities, we were treated as a married couple even though a ceremony had not been performed. Just the way it was.</p>
<p>My parents preferred it to helping me out if I was out of work, etc. That was BF’s responsibility, etc. He functioned as a husband, but we just didn’t rush to the altar.</p>
<p>Younger kids dating is much different.</p>
<p>“And yes, I do know”</p>
<p>So, you’re gay and in a life-long committed romantic relationship then? Taken vows and all that?</p>
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<p>Actually, what they would be is completely out of their minds if they came anywhere near you or told you anything about their personal lives. And if they were actually so brainwashed and full of self-loathing as to believe that the same God who made them gay also required them to be celibate for life, then I would feel deeply sorry for them, and advise breaking away as soon as possible.</p>
<p>Too many lives have been ruined by such beliefs.</p>
<p>“Too many lives have been ruined by such beliefs.”</p>
<p>Um, yeah…telling an 18 year old he/she can’t sleep in the same room as significant other for a few days is one thing. This goes way beyond that into the “life ruining, mentally damaging, emotionally scarring” field. I mean, depending on your relation. The 3rd cousin probably doesn’t care enough about your beliefs to suffer such effects, but your S/D (or future S/D) would indeed.</p>
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<p>Thank you for your input. By relatives, I mean direct and extended relatives (i.e., grandparents, aunts/uncles, and cousins).</p>
<p>I’ll pass forward to them your thought that they are brainwashed. Isn’t it odd, not being able to give other people agency over their beliefs when they disagree with you? You must let me know how that feels; I’ve always assumed that people were capable of making up their minds. I don’t know what made you so cynical, but definitely let me know so I know what to avoid.</p>
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Exactly what I was thinking! Maybe “we won’t if you won’t” would be more effective than “don’t ask, don’t tell!” ;)</p>
<p>When my kids were little my H slept with S every night because he had sleeping problems. S was 2 years younger than D but savvier. He told her (2 and 4) that Dad crept into Mommy’s room when he was asleep. The horrified 4 year old said, “No he does not.” S stood his ground. "Yes, he does, (insert D’s name.) Too, too funny.</p>
<p>And when he was 2 my H came in to say good night to him, and he said, "Go away, man. And don’t say good night to (insert my name here) either.</p>
<p>Haha. Oedipus, shedipus, a boy loves his mother. I teach Freud in a course on the history of ideas, and this little story comes in quite handy.</p>
<p>mythmom, I was reponding to purpleque :)</p>
<p>Hi mafool. Not offended anyway.</p>
<p>I’m glad, mythmom, and wouldn’t think you would be.
Purplequeu was “very upset” when, at 18, she was expected to sleep apart from her boyfriend while they were vacationing with her grandparents.</p>
<p>Oh yeah, I kind of thought that had a ■■■■■-like sound. But maybe not. One never knows, do one?</p>
<p>mathmom: I forgot to comment. That suite seems like an very elegant solution.</p>
<p>Speaking of “scarred for life,” this thread brings up a truly disturbing memory. When I was a kid (in the 10-12 range), one night I shared a *hotel room<a href=“two%20double%20beds”>/I</a> with my grandfather and his second wife. Woke up in the middle of the night to hear sheets rustling, heavy breathing, an occasional gasp. I was petrified. :eek: I was convinced that someone had crept into the room in the dark and stabbed them both, that they were lying there dying, and that if I moved or made any sound at all, I would be next. I spent what seemed like hours (but was probably only a few minutes) paralyzed with fear and torn over whether I should risk my life to save theirs by getting up, checking on them, calling the police. Finally I ventured a “You two ok?” and I’m sure you can imagine the result. I still didn’t know what was really going on. :o</p>
<p>The worst part was, I told my mom about it the next day and she had to grapple with explaining the situation to me. I don’t think she was too pleased with the grandparents.</p>
<p>OK, having nothing to add on topic because I think the topic is highly personal and specific to the parties involved, I’m back to popping my popcorn for this thread.</p>
<p>^^^eeeewwww!!!
Good lord! Did you figure it out before either one of them died? DId they ever look you in the eye again?
Those darn kids - i mean grandparents…</p>
<p>ditto. 10 characters.</p>
<p>geek__mom, that’s a pretty funny story.</p>
<p>I knew a girl in high school who actually walked in on her parents while they were making love (not under the sheets). She had a sense of humor about it, but when she told the story to us (a group of 16-17 y/o girls), there was a robust chorus of “EEEEWWWWWWW!”</p>
<p>geek_mom Howdy! I have been a voyeur on this thread as well…can you pass the MilkDuds please? Anyway just wanted to add my EWWWWWWWWW and a poor baby to the chorus, but I did chuckle just a little ;)</p>
<p>geek_mom, sorry that feels beyond ewwwwwwwww, kind of abusive actually.</p>
<p>@woody: Yes. He just died about 10-12 years ago, and she’s still alive and on to another husband. Neither one of them ever seemed to have much of a sense of shame. :p</p>
<p>@Nrdsb4: So can relate! At that age, the thought of anyone over 30 ever having sex was a stomach-turner for sure, if even a credible notion… after all, didn’t our generation invent it? ;)</p>
<p>@historymom, hey there!! {passes giant box of chewy, chocolatey MilkDud goodness) Yeah, it’s pretty funny now.</p>
<p>@anothercrazymom: Not abusive, just thoughtless and self-absorbed. Which I think is kind of back on topic with this thread, really.</p>
<p>geek_mom, ok your story is definitely worst/better than my experience. I found a copy of The Joy of Sex in my father’s nightstand as a teenager. The thought of my parents “doing it” was just more than I wanted to visualize at that age! Of course now as an adult I realize that people in their 40’s and older do have a sex life ;-)</p>