OP - I can understand your reluctance to discuss this with your family if you don’t think they will be as accepting as others here on the forum. I really hope that you are able to surround yourself with supportive people and live the life you need to be happy.
The child of one of my mother’s closest friend became gender neutral (I believe it’s because of lack of support for full transitioning) and it hasn’t been as smoothly accepted as some of the stories told here. I think there’s been a lot of denial and some difficulty reconciling what is going on with religious teachings. (My own mother has told my siblings and I repeatedly that if any of us our gay, we can’t tell her until after she’s dead. Her close friends all share her values.)
My sister and I used to babysit this little girl who talked all the time about wanting to be a boy. And not in the usual, once in a while, jealous of being able to pee standing up way. We’re talking about an all-consuming way. The dress, the hair, the activities, were all centered around a desire to be a boy. Once the concept of transgender entered our lexicon, my sister and I talked abought how this person was probably transgendered. Fast forward to after college and my mother calls and give us the “shocking” (to no one) news that “T” has come out as a lesbian. My sister and I both talked to my mother about how there is nothing even remotely surprising to us. T’s mother did admit to mine about having her suspicion. (Looking back, I think her suspicions affected things with T growing up. The older sister was clearly the favorite in the family.) T moved 1500 miles from home before making this announcement.
Then came the phone call informing us that T had changed their name and now wished to be referred to with gender neutral pronouns. My mother rolled her eyes. T’s mother has rolled her eyes. They got together over coffee and talked about this phase that T is going through. T’s mother thought it was just being done for drama and attention.
I know there are stories out there of people who have changed their religious or political views because a close relatives has come out, or transitioned. But not everyone changes. The last I heard, T was happy and had found a partner that accepts them for who they are. (But T’s mother was NOT in support of a marriage.) I haven’t had any updates in a long time, which I fear is because T doesn’t communicate with their mother anymore, but I’d like to believe that T is happy.