Today is the first day of orientation, and earlier I stopped by the Organization Fair and spoke to a few sororities with my mother. Most of the girls were really nice and friendly and enthusiastic. It really made me that much more interested in rushing in August.
Then, my roommate (hereby known as B) hooked us up with a few frat parties. We knew a few people going, and decided on a certain one because these guys could swing buy to pick us up. All fine and dandy. At least I thought so.
We get in the car and everything is okay, kinda cramped, but okay. B made sure the guys were completely sober before we left, so I'm really not nervous. And then this guy drives way farther than I though UT extended to. This thing was no where near Jester. We were headed way off campus.
By this time, I'm starting to get nervous. It's almost midnight and we arrive at this house (not nearly as nice as I'd imagined a guy with a Range Rover staying) and it is all boys. The girls were outside doing something, and B goes to take a swing of this nasty, strong vodka. She coughs, all the guys start teasing her, and then they start ushering us into a van with all of the other females. Apparently a bar on 6th Street had free drinks, and some old alumni had let them use his van to haul everyone down there.
At this point, I am done. I am not going to a bar on 6th street with some drunk frat guys on my first night of orientation. B was totally up for it, and as she was still sober, I trusted her to make her own decisions. I ask the guy who took us to take me and another girl back to Jester. He was pretty cool about it, and asked if he could just drop some of his friends off and then take us over. So there were four guys, me, and another girl in the car. Fine. Cool. Whatever. A heck of a lot better than a bar. They were nice, but alas, they fulfilled almost every preconceived notion I had of fraternity boys. Obnoxious. Vain. With fragile egos that must be maintained, or they start "joking" about leaving you on the side of the road. I may have tested the waters a bit (by revealing hints of my inner B-word) but in the end the boys proved me right. Nice enough, but nobody I'd want to have as a friend.
Here is my concern, is this really what have to look forward to if I get in a sorority? A boy in the front seat talking about which girl he's sexting, and the driver and backseat throwing incomprehensible inside jokes at each other while leaving me and my friend out of the loop and highly uncomfortable? Even if what I heard was true, "That they were the worst frat on campus," it makes me worried that the only way I'm going to have fun or connect with those kinds of people is to do things that don't sit well with me. If so, then sororities are not for me. I hope to find out the truth before I commit to paying thousands of dollars to essentially be a part of their group. If anyone has any advice, feel free to comment. I am truly at a loss.
You certainly found a bad bunch. There are guys like this in fraternities and there a nice guys in fraternities. There are guys like this outside of fraternities too. The moral of the story is get to know people before you get in a car with them. You really only knew B for one day? And her friends for less, right.
Drinking (which you did not do) leads to impaired judgement. You have seen that now by watching her.
Does Austin have Uber? Find out and find out how to use it. If not, most schools have a program where student volunteers will drive you home. It is meant to prevent DWIs but it can be used in this type of circumstance. And of course, you can always call a cab. Glad you got out of a bad situation!
Just don’t join a sorority. You seem like you actually have a brain. Frat guys are notorious cretins.
Join an active organization or club. You’ll get just as much socialization without the negatives of frat and sorority life and you’ll have more to put on a resume too.
As a newly admitted transfer student these types of stories give me encouragement that staying above the A curve won’t be as hard as I’d thought… not if these are the types of kids I’m competing with.
Austin does have Uber, thank goodness, and I’ve used it a lot down here. And B definitely wasn’t drunk, not even when she came back to the dorm.
And as for not joining a sorority, definitely an option. I might not even have time.
I had a similar experience-- went to a frat party during orientation because a friend made me and left after 5 minutes. I wish I went to Thunderground instead, haha. I also got invited to a sorority party but didn’t go (though the sorority kept texting me over and over). I think that the experience really depends on the sorority. Rush at UT is also apparently really time consuming, and imo not worth it because the possibilities of getting into a good sorority are really low. It also seems like you may not like the sorority life (something I personally decided after orientation).
At the ties of texas at my orientation, this one guy made a spiel about how they missed the Frat stereotype, and that all frats aren’t drunk crazy guys, and the dude sitting next to me started laughing about how earlier the guy made a couple of crude and inappropriate references… So not saying everyone in Frats are lowlifes, but I can’t think of any other group that would have a greater concentration of them. I’d suggest doing a fig and student organizations, as the advisors and people I talked to about them seemed very level headed and cool.
Alright, well here’s my rant as someone transferring from the Northeast who grew up in Boston and Manhattan. Learn to network OUTSIDE of sororities and fraternities. It is a life skill you need to pick up and perfect way way past your college years. Greek life is high-school and doesn’t factor in the real world consequences of lazy networking with a bunch of suckers too afraid to step outside their comfort zone.
Learn to hit up the real players like an Ivy student. Talk to people you won’t acknowledge around campus, on and off, and include them as part of your social circle. Graduate students, professors, managers, adults already working in the industry, spokespeople, agents, company representatives at job fairs/expos around Austin, and so forth. Figure out where these people go, what they do, what you have in common with those people, and what you can offer them as a person. Give before you take. Don’t sound desperate but don’t be lazy. If you don’t have anything in common with them then leverage your background or make something up. If nothing still clicks, drop a hint then move on. There shouldn’t be any goal more important than just knowing a person and having a person know that you know them, opportunities will grow from there.
See how many phone numbers you have, names memorized, and faces you could immediately identify in a crowded area. YOU want to build this circle of individuals around yourself, not you being at the mercy of someone else’s circle. Because at graduation, your goal is to get your contacts locked between 35 and 150 individuals. These are the people you are going to friends with. People who are older, more experienced, and more high stakes than the people you’ll ever meet by joining a sorority and stopping your progress from there.
Also read “The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference” for those that have no idea how to do any of this stuff.
Lmazoo
As much as I agree with your statements about networking, I don’t think you’re giving enough credit to the Greek system. 85% of Fortune 500 CEOs were in a fraternity, and while the statistics for sororities are less impressive, they are certainly nothing to scoff at. I am curious at to what you would think about student government positions. And just out of curiosity, what are you? Senior? Sophomore? Graduate Student?
CEO’s also have the highest rate of psychopathy. So, ya know, give and take.
@danfer Your source for that claim please?
Oh Geez. Well if that is what qualifies as science and psychopathy for you… The author of the book referenced is arguing that “society as a whole is more psychopathic than ever: after all, psychopaths tend to be fearless, confident, charming, ruthless, and focused–qualities that are tailor-made for success in the twenty-first century.”
I think I will file this one under beach reading at best.
@gettingschooled Lol ok…I don’t mean to derail this thread but what is your complaint exactly? Someone doesn’t have to commit murder to be a psychopath. Most psychopaths have never killed anyone directly. It’s estimated that about 1% of the general population are psychopaths There’s a good chance you’ve met more than a few. You may have a different definition than the DSM, that doesn’t make your view scientific.
Back to the original topic, has anyone else had experiences like the original post, or is this a semi uncommon thing?
I think it sounds like a somewhat common occurrence in college. Is it more common in a fraternity? Probably. Can you be in a sorority and avoid it? Yes. Will you find that type of behavior outside of Greek life? Yes. You have to choose your friends wisely either way.
You should do some research on fraternities online, they’ve been out of control for years. Is ever frat guy a dick? No. There are definitely people in fraternities and sororities who are good people, but you could just as easily meet people like this outside of a sorority. If you don’t want to encounter behavior like this I would steer clear.
You can meet none greek boys like that in any dorm on campus any night of the week. Don’t let that experience sour you on the UT Greek system. There are tons are lots of great greek guys and gals.(that’s a lot of G’s) If you think you want to rush then give it a try. Ask lots of questions. See if its the right fit for you. Find one of your friends you trust who is already in a sorority and ask her questions. Just as a disclaimer, I have been in a sorority at UT for 2 years and it has been an outstanding experience. Good Luck
I’m really sorry to hear about the OP’s negative experiences with Greek life. I’ve heard and responded to @imthereal story too… To me, it sounds like the OP probably shouldn’t be in a sorority. Not because “you have a brain”, but because it simply isn’t what you’re looking for. I hate seeing threads like this and having to continually read words like ‘lowlifes’. The stereotypes… Thanks to those who acknowledge that there is good and bad within every group of people.
But the truth of the matter is when you’re confident and charismatic, things tend to work out well for you. Frat guys understand one thing very, very well: mentality is everything. There’s a reason these guys are in the limelight. Yes, to many they’re douchebags and they all dress alike. But for the same reason a sports team puts on a uniform; it signifies a collective effort to stand behind something bigger than one’s self. A fraternity is a well oiled machine, primed for those lucky enough to be in it to capitalize on a perpetual cycle of ambition and success. The many traditions, especially in the south, are still around because they work. Period. And even if people dislike all of the things that fraternities stereo-typically stand for, frat bros genuinely love their lives and there’s something to be said for that in a world where everyone is faced with their own pursuit of happiness.
In honor of that same pursuit of happiness, people like alot of you on this thread don’t have to hang around or associate yourselves with Greek Life if you don’t want to.
@Fuffy24 Reading about yourself on CC of all places is pretty funny. ‘This guy’ who stood up (albeit, hypocritically in the eyes of your friend who allegedly heard me say obscene things lol) to address a stereotype that they did blatantly miss in the Ties of Texas program… is me. Its funny that I serve as an example of exactly how fraternity members are lowlifes in your mind, despite the fact you know very little about me, but hey, at least me standing up and voicing my thoughts was memorable.