Parent or Student - Who "actually" drives the college admissions process?

Applying to College
121

I have four children and they all have different interests for both major and just general interest in searching. Here’s what I did for my first two who are in their 20s now and young adults:

Had a low-key discussion about academic interests, location preferences, living environment and anything else that is on their mind when they were sophomores in HS.

I started searches (cost, enrollment, prepscholar info, niche ratings etc.) and began filling an Excel file. Once we hit 24 schools, I signed them up for the mailing lists at those schools. I also sent them video links of the schools to watch at their leisure.

They took their standardized test. Added their results to the sheet. There are chance of admittance tools out there. Plugged their numbers in and added the chance number on the sheet.

I shared the excel file with them and said ‘come back when you are comfortable about inquiring about visits’ and we’ll set them up.

Agreed to do visits regardless of location.

Identified any summer camps at all at the schools they liked. Sent them to 2-3 camps. I could care less what the activity was as long as they slept there.

Wrote notes on the excel file from visits and summer camps.

They did their apps, got merit scholarships and acceptances.

Added info to excel file.

Eventually mom and I sat down with each child with the file up and said ‘what do you think?’ Do you want to visit your top 2 again? In one case, we did and in another child’s case we did not. We went over the whole picture: major, distance, town, living, clubs, path to grad school acceptance rates.

Waited for the child to come to us with their decision.

The important thing is that you help them see data. I’m bragging but my research sheets have been looked at by admissions reps and they were impressed.

Both kids loved their schools far from home, obtained 4.0 and 3.75 GPAs. One is in med school and the other is going to grad school.

I have two more in HS going thru this process now. Hope this helps.

5 Likes
122

When DS24 was a sophomore, school tours were extremely limited for all but current applicants, so we did a few that were open to younger students just to get him thinking about college. It helped him to understand what it means to be a college student and not just listen to the adults in his orbit talking about it. Those few tours helped him consider what was important to him and what wasn’t.

He has been focused more on the here and now for the rest of high school but did make his final application list on his own. He completed most of those applications, but for the ones he didn’t finish, I just let it go. I didn’t want this process to cause a power struggle at home.

That letting go is part of the most difficult part of having young adult children. I’ve had several people tell me that I should just tell him, “You have to go here!”, but instead I just gave him the facts that I have and told him when he needed to make a commitment (in advance of May 1).

1 Like
123

It’s hard as a 50+ yr old, born in the US, to go through this process IMHO. Personally, I feel like it’s too much to put on most kids to do themselves. I say that with some caveats: some high schools are better than others in prepping the kids for the process. Our public high school is completely useless, with not even talking to the kids about college apps until after some of ours were due, sadly no exaggeration. Also, if there are older siblings or close family/friends who have gone through the college process, your students might be in a more informed/mature mindset. Finally, if your student wants to go close to home or has a specialized major they are interested in, the process is more directed and easier for the student I would imagine.

We built a very broad list for DS. He had his favored region to look at, but I had him build a geographically broader list, telling him he may change his mind come May 1 senior year. (This turned out to be good advice btw.)

We did a few school tours, even meeting with students we knew, but honestly it wasn’t very helpful. We’ve found that Admitted Student Days are so much more valuable than a regular school tour, and touring before applying there’s too much chance that your kid falls in love with a school that rejects them.

11 Likes
124

We both loved Iowa State. It was S25 second college visit. He was down on the process because he was very disappointed after his first visit to a highly rated engineering school. We left Ames with a solid safety, and only 6.5 hours from home. I plan to have him apply right when the application opens, so he has an acceptance well before Labor Day.

6 Likes
125

Arrive in daylight the day before and drive around the campus as much as possible. Then focus on academic department buildings during campus tour. Residential life tours are highly overrated at schools where student only lives on campus for freshman year; more important at most private schools.

126

I’m a senior now, and honestly, I started thinking about colleges around sophomore year. My parents were super supportive and gave me some suggestions, but I did most of the research myself. I wanted to find schools that fit my interests and goals, not just places they thought were good. By junior year, I was pretty much driving the whole process with them backing me up when I needed it.

9 Likes
127

This article by an AO seems relevant to this thread.

3 Likes
128

This topic was automatically closed 180 days after the last reply. If you’d like to reply, please flag the thread for moderator attention.