^^ Not really. It’s not probation before a trial, but bail. Some people just can’t pay bail or the overdue child support so have to sit in jail. It may have been a prior offense where he did receive probation but this domestic incident was a violation of probation so he had to serve the time. There are a lot of things that go wrong post divorce, and much of it is caused by not having money. It sounds like this guy doesn’t have a car, probably because of not having money for insurance and gas, and thus he’s underemployed because he can’t get to work. It’s a cycle.
There are a million reasons he could have been in jail. He may have violated an automatic restraining order that everyone has been ignoring (don’t go within 50 feet, etc) for the convenience of the parents when exchanging the children. A fight broke out, cops called, and the cops arrest him for violating the restraining order. I’ve seen it a million times. All kinds of people, rich or poor, have anger issues with exes.
Just to chime in here on a recent experience with a young lady. Make sure she knows that prenatal/maternity care is not covered on her health insurance if she is on your plan (it might be, but after researching it I read that 70% of plans don’t cover it for dependents–everybody with a girl,should check their coverage!) If she makes a mistake or is too in love, things can happen. Google maternity benefits for dependents and show her the articles. It is the large company plans that don’t have to include it. The girl,that I know has a mom who is a teacher. I always thought teachers had the best plans, but they excluded it. Also, you can’t sign up for health insurance out of the enrollment period. I had a thread about this. My friend was lucky, she squeaked in under an extension.
@SOS, did your friends daughter have coverage? Just curious how,prevalent the problem is. Maternity care was highly publicized by the ACA promoters, but the didn’t say only for the insured, not necessarily dependents on the policy.
@patsam I don’t know about friend’s DD on the maternity health care coverage for dependent. I actually had assumed she would be covered under stepfather’s company plan - I had not heard about the 70% of plans not covering maternity care for dependents. Funny how the gov’t is trying to make all plans cover contraception etc but allowing dependent maternity to be carved out? If I would have known that tidbit, I would have asked the mom when I saw her recently. She is not only embarrassed but so sad for her DD looking at being a single mom. Maybe the DD will decide to have the baby adopted, but I doubt that she will go that route - her older married sister just had a baby. The mom had a great husband and now a great second husband.
There are so many hurdles that young people have to decide on in their lives - just as when we were young. However it seems there are more problems readily available for them.
AND it’s not a qualifying event to apply outside of open enrollment. So don’t get pregnant after February 15! My friend got lucky, her insurance had told her she was covered (on the phone) last month, she and mom accepted that info. This week, after feb 15, the dr advised her it was denied and they found out it wasn’t covered. Luckily, there was an extension through today, and she was able to sign up. Unexpected expense, but cheaper than self pay.
First off- make sure she gets on an IUD or Implant ASAP. And the HPV vaccine if she hasn’t done so already.
With that said, I am going to disagree with some on here. Far be it for me to EVER defend a partner who abuses his/her partner but if the female part of the relationship is just as screwy as he is, she could very well have pressed charges and he be put into jail. The jail system in this country is BEYOND screwed up and I knew men who couldn’t make bail and had to sit in jail for months before finally getting to trial and being found innocent- even of something partner abuse. They vast, VAST majority of people cannot post bail. Those who can’t routinely spend several months in jail. It is a disgusting part of our criminal system that rarely anyone talks about.
On top of that, the longer you’re out of work the harder it is to get a job. It very well may be that he was caught up in something and now it will pretty much screw him over for years to come (and we wonder why the recidivism rate in this country is disgustingly high…)
For being a “baby daddy” I don’t see the big deal with that. Lots of men and women have children from previous relationships. I have a half sister from my dad’s first marriage. He could be called a “baby daddy” by that definition.
With all of that said, it’s your car and you have to right to make decisions about it as you see fit. Your daughter does raise some good points though. Obviously, I can only comment based on what you’ve told us here.
Wow that insurance thing is scary… I have sons but I had assumed that pregnancy would be covered for dependents. I know that years ago it was for some of my friends who ended up pregnant in high school.
All I can think of other than the comments above is encourage her to stay friends with the “good” kids who left town. The more she hears about their lives and the more she is having to tell them about her life (eg describing this bf)…the better.
Even if the pregnancy is covered for a daughter under and ACA policy (so parent has a group policy and child is pregnant and covered), the baby is NOT covered. Grandchildren are not covered unless they are under a guardianship of the policy owner. THAT’s where the big money can be. My NICU baby’s hospital bill was $300k, and that was 20 years ago.
I thought about that too - policy holders can take care of this with a lawyer. If the grandparents don’t want to take on any child rearing or financial obligations, DD should really consider adoption - it can be done privately and if done before you leave the hospital, in our state social services is not involved at all.
Yes I know she is not pregnant (yet) - it only takes one time. A guy over 10 years older that already has a child should be thinking about his current responsibilities and not courting this gal.
My SIL was a HS senior (who thought she knew it all) when she got pregnant by a 23 year old; she was pretty intelligent, but he was intelligent in a lazy way - always looking for a scheme. She married him and had a second before she figured out the obvious - what is a 23 YO man doing with a HS gal. The women his age don’t put up with his nonsense. She was living in a trailer raising her two, waitressing and attending college - she did the best she could under the circumstances and then was fortunate to get married to a great guy.
Hopefully this gal has some good friends that will steer her clear of him.