<p>Seahorses, if you are waiting for her to agree that she should no longer drive, you might be waiting a long time. The fact that she’s in denial about it tells me that she lacks some of the judgment which, as ucbalumnus correctly pointed out, is an essential part of safe driving. I think they fear that if they admit they screwed up, we’ll use that against them. As if we can’t draw our own conclusions.</p>
<p>It is a process. It took about 4 months from the time we began thinking Dad should no longer drive until the deed was accomplished. So you’re doing well to stay on top of it. Those warning signs posted above – it’s not a one-strike-and-you’re-out list (except for a couple of items, as noted). I think the idea is to notice changes: Are more of these things starting to happen, or are they happening more frequently?</p>
<p>It is very hard to make a decision about what is best for your parents when they are aging. I have been there with my own father, and I understand your struggle and frustration. They are unwilling to give up their freedoms. I think this is the first generation that seriously combats the idea of a home because they have lived through a lot of things. They know and understand what it is like to go without certain freedoms that we are all so accustomed to. They don’t want to give it up. There are [senior</a> care options](<a href=“http://www.seniorcare.net/when-to-consider-adult-daycare/"]senior”>http://www.seniorcare.net/when-to-consider-adult-daycare/) other than homes that can assist you in parenting your own parent. Day Care may be the best option for you. However there are a lot of [alternatives</a> to nursing homes](<a href=“http://www.medicare.gov/nursing/alternatives/other.asp"]alternatives”>http://www.medicare.gov/nursing/alternatives/other.asp). Do research on all of the possibilities and you may find one that your mother can agree with somewhat.</p>
<p>I know it hard to transition into your new role but, it is even harder for your mother to handle the shift in authority. She was your mom, and now you have to take care of her. She is having trouble grasping the idea. Seek advice from people who have been in your situation. It is a hard one and my thoughts and prayers go out to you.</p>