Parents are ridiculously frustrating

College Confidential Community
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<p>So I just confirmed that I don’t qualify for FAFSA. </p>

<p>Due to limbo immigration status (I am a legal and on waiting list for permanent residency), I don’t quality for any federal financial aid. </p>

<p>That kicks out any public university, florida bright futures, and other programs. </p>

<p>Because my parents make $16,000 per year, I am pretty screwed. </p>

<p>In short words, if I don’t make it into the few, few colleges (that just happen to be the ones hardest to get in) that do give financial aid to international students, I won’t be able to go to college. As simple as that. </p>

<p>So I am telling my parents this. And I am researching options online and other scholarships that I may be eligible for. </p>

<p>And all my mom says is: “In this life, you have to dream… just dream… dream and it will all come true.”</p>

<p>Yes. So what do I do? I just sit here and dream? My parents have been “dreaming” their whole lives- for the immigration process to speed up, for more money, for winning the lottery- and nothing. </p>

<p>But “dreaming” has been their answer for months. </p>

<p>Aside from “dreaming” they don’t do anything else. Whenever I mention what the hell am I going to do if the status quo doesn’t change in time for college app. (which 1,000,000 chances to 1 it wont), my mom gets angry and yells: “That’s not The Secret! That’s not what the Secret says! You can’t assume something negative!”</p>

<p>Referring to “The Secret” that stupid book that says if you want something you’re going to get it. Only my parents think you’re just going to get whatever magically. </p>

<p>Yeah. :(</p>

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<p>Community colleges in FL offer affordable tuition (you can always work part-time and attend school part-time) and you can save money by living at home. When you have permanent residency status, and if you do well in the courses you need to transfer to a FL university as a junior, you may then be eligible for financial aid. Dreams are important but you need to discern practical ways of realizing them. Fortunately you have a sound option in the state community college system. It may not be where you’d hoped to end up, but plenty of people who work hard in community colleges transfer to universities and lead very successful lives.</p>

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<p><a href=“I%20am%20a%20legal%20and%20on%20waiting%20list%20for%20permanent%20residency”>quote</a>,

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<p>Did you mean to say you are illegal and waiting for permanent residency? </p>

<p>Is there any indication of how long the wait will take?</p>

<p>Get out of your rut of blaming your parents. If you are going to do what you want to do in life, you need to take responsibility and be grateful for whatever help they can give you.</p>

<p>1) Get aggressive looking at any scholarship options that may be available for someone like you. </p>

<p>2) Figure out, if it’s not too late, a range of schools that would possibly grant aid for anyone admitted. I think this is a short list, but I don’t know. Assume nothing.</p>

<p>3) If you can’t get in to schools you want to go to, go into the community college system and work your buns off to get stellar grades and to look for good transfer and scholarship opportunities.</p>

<p>4) If Florida doesn’t work for you, you could probably move to another state that has great state u’s and that has adcoms that would be compelled by your story. And you could go to comm college there and establish residency. California comes to mind. Maybe Michigan or VA or Wisconsin.</p>

<p>Dreams sometimes come true based on extraordinary luck, but the adage “The harder I work the luckier I get” is most appropriate in your situation. </p>

<p>Make a plan, work hard and stick to it, take it on all yourself, and don’t put it on your parents.</p>

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<p>No I am legal. </p>

<p>Alot of people are unfamiliar with the immigration process (I don’t blame anyone, I would be as well if I wasn’t involved in it.)</p>

<p>Basically, you apply for permanent residency. I applied in the year 2000. The waiting list is approx. 8-15 years. They tell you this at the beginning. </p>

<p>So my case has been approved. Meaning me and my family can legally reside in the United States while we want for our turn to become permanent residents. </p>

<p>Currently, they are working on the 1997 cases so my turn will come sometime in 2012. </p>

<p>I blaming my parents for not caring enough. Or least for acting like things will just change out of nowhere. But you’re right- this is my problem and I guess I shouldn’t count on them to help me solve it.</p>

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<p>When I taught at a public u, I had students in your situation who were funding themselves through college by working, loans, etc. I remember that one had the good fortune to have his citizenship come through when he was a junior.</p>

<p>My suggestion is that you start college by living at home and going to a community college, which you could go to part time or fulltime depending on how much money you can earn to pay for it.</p>

<p>There also may be some private scholarships that you qualify for. Check into those, particularly local ones.</p>

<p>Also check to see if your immigration status would allow you to be in Americorps, which would give you a stipend plus $4,700 that you could use for college after you finish your Americorps year.</p>

<p>While your situation is difficult and frustrating, I agree with your parents that if you wish to go to college, there are ways to do so, probably much more easily attainable ways of doing so than existed in your parents’ home country.</p>

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<p>“I blaming my parents for not caring enough…this is my problem and I guess I shouldn’t count on them to help me solve it.”</p>

<p>Your parents cared enough about your future to emigrate. Do you honestly think you’d have more opportunities if they hadn’t? You don’t have a “problem”; you’re lucky. If you work part-time to pay for community college, and attend community college part-time and get outstanding grades, by 2012 you’ll have permanent residency status and two years of college under your belt and you’ll still be well within the traditional age of juniors and seniors at universities. Many people in the world would be grateful to be in your situation. Your attitude will sink you if you don’t adjust it.</p>

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<p>Think about starting off your first two years at a junior/community college. You can save A LOT of money and still get practically the same quality education. Check around your area for the local community colleges and find the most competitive one that has a high transfer rate among Universities of your choice. If you do well, your chances of getting a transfer to a University of choice will be pretty good.</p>

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<p>Look, you are going to face some challenges that most folks who are on these boards will never face. It would be easy to compare yourself and to want to complain. Plus, parents can be really annoying when they think they know better and lecture you, but the fact is in this you will be in territory they don’t know. You are making your own path. It doesn’t sound like you have brothers and sisters who went before you to learn from. And your parents have no idea. So you need to be extremely aggressive in finding out information and asking questions and in working out your own plan.</p>

<p>One thing I noticed from another thread you put up is that you have leadership going for you, some good math, you were in the stock market club. Are you thinking about going into finance? </p>

<p>If so, I would identify a few schools right now that might be good for finance and approach them and make them familiar with your story.</p>

<p>One school I could think of would be the Claremont McKenna College in LA. The Claremont colleges are really good. The reason I think of Claremont McKenna is because that school just got a mega-huge endowment gift for a program in finance for undergrads. I think it was that school and I think the gift was $200 million. I have to believe that some of that gift will go toward qualified students who need financial help.</p>

<p>I raise this for itself and also because I think there must be other colleges that would be a good target for such activities. And these kinds of programs often seek diversity.</p>

<p>[News</a> Release, News and Events, Claremont McKenna College](<a href=“http://www.claremontmckenna.edu/news/pressreleases/article.asp?article_id=893]News”>http://www.claremontmckenna.edu/news/pressreleases/article.asp?article_id=893)</p>

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<p>the immigration process is so, so, so, so, so, sooooooo xenophobic. god i hate politicians</p>

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<p>And what would you suggest your parents “do”? They can’t change the rules for FAFSA. They can’t change your status on the residency list. They can’t petition to make you a permanent residence.</p>

<p>There is a point to “dreaming”. By saying, “How can I get around these issues?” you could open your mind to creativity and ideas you’ve never considered before. </p>

<p>Try the advice given by Robert Kiosaki in “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” - don’t say “I can’t afford it.” Say “How can I afford it?” Ideas may come, and those can be translated into action.</p>

<p>If you don’t like the idea of community college, work until you get residency. Live at home and save most of your money. Then when you do get your permanent residency, apply to the colleges of your choice.</p>

<p>There is no law that says that you have to go to a 4 year college immediately after high school. You have options. Stay open to them.</p>

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<p>Am I correct in guessing that it’s far easier for you to get a college education than it was for your parents? That your parents left their country in order to give their kids better opportunities than they had?</p>

<p>If so, stop complaining and start taking advantage of the many opportunities available to you here, opportunities that at the very least include community colleges that are affordable for virtually anyone who’s willing to work while attending college.</p>

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<p>8 - 12 years to become a permanent resident… wow…</p>

<p>oh, and, dude, i can kind of empathize with your situation. my parents are immigrants too, and haven’t really “cared” about the process. but like others above me have said, pave your own path. this IS america…</p>