@mom22038 I hate to say this but I got my mother out of rehab pretty quickly, It was not helping recovery. The patients were in bed most of the time with two hours maximum therapy. There were rules about allowing them to walk and I had to wear a belt around her and me, when she really needed to be able to walk and stay fit. I would say she needed home rehab to recover from in-patient rehab!
I was fortunate in that she was already at an assisted living and knew the PT and OT who came there as well as the nursing and aide staff at the AL. I wonder if your mother could leave rehab and do respite at her spouseâs AL, with in-home therapies. Just walking the halls and going to meals etc. helps with recovery (I felt, more than lying in bed at rehab).
I have 7 spinal fractures and the last 3 were painful and very debilitating. None of my docs prescribed any help at home let alone rehab. I live alone and wrote my doc that I was alone and not functional but got no help. Maybe if I was in my 90âs!
We had an incident last year with my late mother. 90+ years old, went to the small local hospitalâs ER for stomach painsâsheâd had a biliary procedure 6 months earlier there, done by a part-time retired surgeon who would not see patients post-op (made you find another gastro guy-awkward).
When the small ill-equipped local hospital wanted to admit her again and have the semi-interested retired guy look at her again, we checked her out (against their advice) and immediately drove her 20 minutes to the well-equipped, medical school-affiliated major hospital where her doctors practiced.
They made us feel like ingrates for checking her out, but the service and care there was blatantly sub-standardâI wouldnât bring my cat there. We (including my mother) were100% convinced we made the right move. She ultimately passed away two weeks later, but the bigger hospital made efforts to save her that would not have even been possible at the small local one.
Rehab at the site where patient is located can be helpful IF patient cooperates. We had a PT and an OT cone to my and one of my sisterâs homes to help teach us exercises to help mom stay as strong as possible and work on her balance.
After she was discharged from hospital, she was sent to skilled nursing, where she got OT, PT and speech therapy regularly. It was nice we were all able to visit here there.
There is a rehab hospital which was NOT suitable for mom but can be ideal for the correct patients.
Is there something similar to a Nanny Cam for the elderly; and donât tell my mother I called her elderly.
Another day of a couple of hours where mom is not answering her phone and should be in her apartment. Did she decide to go downstairs for dinner, even though she went for lunch and swore she wasnât going to dinner? Is her internet based Xfinity phone out? If that was the case, she use to know to turn her cell on and let someone know; plus if phone is out, most likely her tv would be out also, and she wouldnât be happy and would call me to fix it! Of course her cell phone is not on, and the first time I called was too early to be down for dinner; now I guess I worry for another hour or two before I really worry.
I am not looking for anything to invade her privacy, but maybe a camera in her bedroom and another in the living room where there is an app or something that I could look at to see if she is on the sofa or bed, or possibly on the floor. Nothing for me to have on all the time, just to look if we havenât heard from her, or she isnât answering the phone. It doesnât have to be hidden, I would let her know we are putting it there for her safety.
My parents were/are home with one of us always there so we used a motion detector that would go off if they were roaming around as we were worried about falls.
We put Echo Show units in the two areas where MIL would be (other than the bathroom) - across from the chair she sits in & next to her bed. They can be set up for drop-in mode. SIL uses it to see if MIL is out of bed, as well as to see whatâs up when she doesnât answer the phone (which is most of the time). Sheâs in an AL facility, so we had to put a sticker on the door informing everyone of the video monitoring.
We had cameras in momâs independent living unit at CCRC. My younger brother installed and would check them when there was a question about their whereabouts. He had two in living room and one in bedroom. They were helpful. One allowed him to talk to them, which heâd sometimes do and startle anyone who heard his voice.
I ask you why are you worrying if your mom is going down to dinner? What is it that is making you worry when she doesnât answer her phone?
I say this as a worrier myself. I also say this as I find that the older generation is not tied to their phones and being in touch as I am. Or definitely as my younger relatives are.
Today my mom again didnât answer her phone. The phone is right there, she claims she has the ringer on high and is right in her room. But she seriously never answers that dang phone. She doesnât carry it except when she drives. Iâve finally got her to not turn the phone on and off all the time. Just leave the darn thing on.
I find that my in laws are similarly not tied to the phone. They sometimes forget to hang up the phone and I canât get through.
My momâs living situation says they make sure to check in if they havenât heard from a resident.
To me it sounds like you worry when she doesnât answer. But when she needs something, sheâs sure to let you know.
Maybe Iâm not understanding. And I apologize if Iâm not.
@deb922 Mom has been sick, so we, my aunt and I, check in on her often, or mom calls us. I would love her to go down for all her meal, but she is having trouble adjusting to the retirement community and yesterday was very upset and angry, saying this was a huge mistake and she shouldnât have moved. As a 93 year old, I do worry she could fall, so when she doesnât answer when she says she isnât well enough to go down for dinner, yes, I worry.
Her apartment is 600 sq. ft. and she has 4 cordless phones, one next to her on the sofa, one by her bed, one on her dresser with the answering machine, and one in the kitchen; she also usually carries one into the bathroom when she is in there. If she canât get to the phone when it rings, she always calls right back. Her cell phone sits plugged in at all times, usually turned off, but she remembers to take it with her most of the time. Mom is a big phone user, so she wouldnât ignore a call if she was in the apartment, or could get to the phone; she loves to talk!
Unfortunately, her community has no one to check on the residents; I am not even sure if we were to ask for a welfare check if they will enter. I will have to ask about that, but luckily, my aunt lives less than 10 minutes away, and I live 20 if no traffic; we both have a key to the apartment.
I will look into some sort of monitoring for her safety and my piece if mind. Again, this would be with her knowledge, and only to make sure she is ok, not to watch her. I used a baby monitor for my husband when he was sick and in a different bedroom, but not one with an app; I would have the monitor by my bed with the camera on his night table. For mom, I would need one with an app since we arenât in the same house. @kelsmom I will look at the Echo and see how that compares to a baby monitor; drop in mode is exactly what I think I am looking for, thank you.
@compmom Can she, yes; will she, no! That would make her seem old, and she isnât old in her mind. She comments on all the old people in her building, who many are younger than she is. I guess because they are using walker or wheelchairs, then seem old to her as she doesnât need either.
Mom did go down for dinner, so was an exciting day as she went down for lunch and dinner. She was very chipper when she called me around 8:00; so different from the day before when she was so negative and down, I was shaking after her call that day. I donât understand how she goes from 0 to 100 in no time, but will take the good days whenever I can. Tomorrow she goes for a chest CT; hopefully they donât find anything unusual.
I will hold off with any monitoring at this time, but will consider it in the future if we decide it is needed. If I could talk her into texting, she could just send a quick text-âgoing to dinner.â Every blue moon she has replied to the kids WhatsApp thread where they send pictures of the great grand kids; she has WhatsApp on her computer, so can type, unlike her phone. If she doesnât want to call me, maybe she would be willing to send a message.
Still too many clicks for her! She could also call either her sister or myself quickly, but we will not request that at this point. I want her to keep her independence and not feel like she has to check in.
When I had her switch to an iPhone after my dad died, the deal was, she had to have her cell phone on and with her when she left the house, as she was driving. I told her if she didnât do so, we would take the car away! She was happy to do this, and knew, without someone at the house to know if she didnât return home, this was a good safety options. While I have Find My iPhone to trace her, she said I should put it on my auntâs phone also; I kept it just on mine. My aunt would call me and said, âDo you know where your mother is, I havenât been able to get in touch with her?â I would check my phone and could see she was at the grocery store, or nail appointment; a small price to pay to know she was ok.
I think mom is on the mend, or her friend is making her do more. My aunt stopped by to take something out of the apartment mom didnât want. She wasnât in the apartment and my aunt found her down in the lobby area outside the dining room with a large group of people hanging out! My aunt said she was again chipper and looked good. I am guessing they are going to dinner right at 5:00 which is when dinner starts. Mom does not like eating so early, she and dad use to eat around 7:30, but if you donât go for the first sitting, or not seated by 6:00, they run out of food.
For my. Uncle who couldnât remember how to charge phones we got a corded base. It worked with the cordless handset that was in a second room but didnât need charging and couldnât lose it since it had a cord
Maybe I should have posted this in boasting thread. Soooo very proud of my own mom, now gone, who had recognized the need for wearing a device (even though her low income apartment had pull chains in bathroom and bedroom).
She researched herself when in her early 80s. To keep costs low, she got one that had no monthly fee and worked in conjunction with her landline phone. If she pressed the button it would call a sequence of numbers (my cell, my home, apartment manager⊠and if no answer, 911). Every month or two sheâd run a test while I was visiting, make sure battery charging right and that I was trained to answer correctly. Interestingly the time she did have a fall she dragged herself to the real phone. But we had peace of mind when she was wearing it.
