Motion detector sounds like a good idea in that situation. Does it alert you by sound? Phone message?
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You can set it either for sound or for a bright light. At night, we use the sound, but the sound is annoying so during the day we use the light.
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Leaving my momâs tomorrow afternoon after being here all week. Itâs been a great week. When dh and I are here we get into a great groove. He is so good with her. I could cry about that and will cry when we leave her tomorrow. Thank God for Xanax. For her, not me. But her Xanax helps me, too! Whenever she starts her late afternoon fidgeting, popping that pill does the trick. Itâs miraculous.
This morning, she told me, âI remember things.â Such an interesting statement as she remembers so little. But she does have moments of lucidity that are surprising. Yesterday we walked her about a mile to go see her cousin. She, of course, was in her wheelchair. Today, she told me she wants to go back to see him again. What? She canât remember that she already ate 30 minutes earlier but she held in her head overnight that we went for a visit the day before? The mind is so interesting.
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So I havenât gone through this incredibly long thread but am hoping the hive mind can help out.
My momâs mobility has gradually declined, and in the last month, she feels she can no longer get to the dining room or her activities with her walker. She has someone taking her in a wheelchair, and she has an appointment with her doctor to get a scrip for an electronic wheelchair so sheâll be independent. She remains concerned about learning to drive it, but I suspect sheâll be fine.
What do we need to know about selecting a chair - from âfeaturesâ , ease of operation, ease of transfers, etc.? Pretty sure this will find its way back to me, and I donât know what I donât know!
When my FIL needed a wheelchair, we spoke with the AL facility staff to determine what would be best for his situation. They were really helpful.
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Sheâs not in AL, but has someone who she can call for stuff like this. Good idea!
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Go to a shop that sells them and let them take you through features.
Size (ease through doors/elevators), weight (any need to lift it?), wheel size (indoor/outdoor use), ease in getting in/out of chair), comfort (how long sitting in it? cushioning), ease in charging. Those are just some parameters to start with. You may also look around for used wheel chairs.
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And of course, look at whatâs in use at her facility. Ask the users what they like/dislike about their model.
Are you looking for a wheelchair that she will use only inside the house, and not something that would be used outside the house too? If itâs something that sheâll use outside the house transporting it can be a big issue. Manual wheelchairs can be folded up easily and stuck in a trunk, but electric wheelchairs require a special vehicle & pretty much always require modification of housing, unless she is already in a wheelchair accessible dwelling. (You probably know this! It was just a little unclear from your description what her living situation is, and since you talked about this being a way to increase her independence, I wanted to mention it.)
As far as learning to drive it, Iâm sure she can do it. My son with cerebral palsy (which allows him only limited movement of only one hand & causes him to have extremely jerky movements) and borderline intellectual disability started using an electric wheelchair when he was in kindergarten. Vision is the biggest issue â she needs to make sure she has good depth perception and peripheral vision so she doesnât, for example, drive off a curb which can result in serious injury. (It has happened to my son, twice. 
)
And expect damage to the walls of her living space. We have tons of scrapes in the drywall and paint scratched off, because no matter how much you try, you end up bumping the chair into the walls or doors at least sometimes.
Here is the door jamb into my sonâs room 
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Thanks all. Really, just indoor use. She lives in a senior community, so accessibilty is great. She rarely goes out. (As in never.) Going to a shop may be hard. Not impossible, but just getting in and out of car and navigating unfamiliar territory is difficult and stressful.
So far, no need inside her apartment â although that could change. So itâs about getting around the facility. Then again, thatâs what we thought going from cane to walker!
Seat comfort - yes. Great point! Size, yes. Does Medicare have restrictions/ guidelines?
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I skimmed through this. Helpful info, including possibility or renting (maybe good for a trial?)
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If your facility has in house rehab, ask some if the physical therapists to weigh in
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Itâs been many years, but when my mother with severe arthritis, etc needed a wheel chair, the process was a script from a Dr and then she went to a rehab facility where she had an appointment with both a PT and a representative from the wheel chair company simultaneously. She was fitted for her size and after that, I was surprised by how many decision points there were. Head rest, how much the chair could lean back, foot rest format, hand control positions, etc. It took a couple of hours. There was little generic about it and the cost (almost 20 years ago, covered by Medicare) was about 16-18k. All this to say, invest the time to find the experts and get the most out of the process in accordance with Medicare rules. There is a wide range of products and some are very one size fits all.
I can be very reassuring on the learning to use it front; once my mother saw that stopping only required that she lift her hand, the rest came easily. All the best. It can be a game changer.
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My sonâs MiL had a motorized scooter â the battery, and recharging it, are questions to ask. How long does a charge last, how long to recharge, as the battery drains, how is the function, and how many recharges until you need a new battery; who services it for troubles and how much do batteries cost?
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@ChoatieMom I read your post concerning your momâs possible future care on the other thread re: health and mobility. I understand your concerns about her finances if she needs more help.
Since things are stable now, I wonder if you, sibling, and mom can have honest discussions on how to plan if things go awry. What are the options - what will she need in terms of temporary help (weeks, months?) vs what will her needs be for long term care, etc. What are the ratings of some of the nearby or desired facilities or in home private care service? What are the costs?
âAlso, she has SS and a pension that adequately cover her monthly living/spending needs, but my brother and I own her house and car. She has no savings to speak of; three months in a facility at the prices listed in these threads would wipe her out. So what will happen to her if/when something else happens?â
Since you and sib own her house and car, can they be sold and proceeds be used for her care? If not, can she qualify for Medicaid? I think each state has their own assessment/qualification process on this. Also, most facilities have limited number of medicaid beds and cannot guarantee there will be one available when needed.
We live in IL and my FIL lives in MN. Though COL is high in our immediate area, I was very surprised that care for elderly in MN (suburb of Minneapolis) was more expensive in many cases. Our area has numerous private care companies and resources so it was easier for me to find care for dad. For FIL, most likely since weâre not familiar with a lot of things in his area, dealing with in home care companies were very challenging and private care facilities are very expensive. Though his wish, then and now, is still to live his remaining time in his home, the private care help were not reliable esp since FIL wanted part time care (not realistic to H and me but FIL wouldnât budge). Most of the private care companies want the elderly get full time aids (minimum of 8 hours shifts), because they cannot hire part-time help.
All of this not easy, but having a plan will help ease your anxiety now and guide you if she does need more care later. Wish you and mom peace and good health!
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I am in a quandary now. My 83 year old mother is a good, safe driver. Never an accident, we have never had concern about her driving. She lives in the same home sheâs lived in for 62 years, only goes to a few places that sheâs familiar with, doesnât drive in dicey conditions. But we took her 2005 car in to get the battery changed, and they found 6K worth of needed repairs (engine, radiator). I trust them. ButâŠmy mom has memory loss, and a difficult time learning anything new. I think she has mild dementia, though not diagnosed. How long will she be safe driving, I do not know. She doesnât want to lose her freedom to drive yet. And she can afford any option.
Options Iâve come up with:
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I have offered to drive her wherever she wants a few times a week (plus my niece lives with her, so she has a ride). She generally walks everywhere. She is healthy and fit, besides the memory issue. She doesnât like this option much.
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She can drive her car until it completely breaks down (it could be a day or years), but one day it will stop somewhere. She wouldnât drive on the freeway, but I see the potential for danger here. Then again, this could happen with any older car, but now we know thereâs problems.
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She could spend the 6K to fix it, though the mechanic said itâs not worth it, and who knows what else will go wrong with a 20 year old car? But at least sheâd still be driving something sheâs familiar with. Trade in value is less than 1K.
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I took her to a Subaru dealer (sheâs always driven Subarus), and the perfect car for her is a Crosstrek. Smaller, safe, smooth, itâs perfect. She was too intimidated to test drive it, but weâre trying again today, because she really wants to. Iâm afraid, though, that if we get this car, she might not be able to learn anything new. And the newer cars (even older models of the Crosstrek) still have many unfamiliar features. But honestly, you donât have to use them. The important things are still in the same place.
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Donât really want to get her an old car just like hers, because whatâs the point? You donât know whatâs wrong anyways, may as well fix up her current car.
Am I missing anything here? If she was a dangerous driver, Iâd discourage her in a minute, but sheâs likely the safest person out there. At least in her current car. Iâm kind of leaning on fixing that car up if things go poorly today.
If the money is there, my $.02 is to fix the existing car.
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I think a new car might overwhelm her. Heck, even I get momentary confused driving hubbyâs 2013 car (once or twice a year) because I am so used to having a real key to stick in the ignition.
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I think Iâll give her the one more chance today, since she really seems to want it. This car is so much better than her old one, but it just might be too late. I just ignore all the buttons on our newer cars and donât use them anyways! Took us awhile with the button push to start cars, but thatâs pretty much self correcting. Not going anywhere without starting the car. 
The good thing is that if she gets the new car she will ONLY be driving a car with a push button, not going back/forth. See how she does. (I do know of one 60-something driver, at start of severe alzheimerâs, that could not adjust.) Hopefully sheâll do the test drive, get some confidence on a new vehicle. Even without overtly using any new function, sheâll benefit from improved safety features.
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