we have a new crosstrek and man, it is a lot. Some of the safety features make noise at you, the dashboard has messages – but some can be turned off. If she has lots of money, I’d almost have her spend the $6K.
Another choice? Buy the crosstrek, and for the first month, drive with her someplace safe while she gets acclimated? Like driver’s ed with a teenager. My own mom would not be able to learn a new car, but maybe yours can.
Do you mean that it is a lot to learn, or that it’s expensive? We are looking at a base or premium model, maybe even a 2023 or older so she doesn’t have a big screen to look at. I was thinking that maybe if she insisted on getting it, that we could keep her old car in case she can’t do it. Good idea to practice with her like a teenager. It would be the ultimate parental revenge (I have a feeling my parents didn’t enjoy teaching me how to use a stick shift)!
You know your mom best. My mom at 83 would not have done well adjusting to a newer car - not just from the buttons aspect but a different size, different view, different sitting stance, etc. etc!
I love a Crosstrek and I’m a Subaru for lifer but even the base or w/miles models are a good chunk of cash!
I don’t know, I’m going back and forth. This really is what she needs. A little smaller than her Outback (she’s always wanted a little smaller), smooth, easy to drive, sits up at the same height, can adjust it to however she wants. She can afford anything, though she lives like she’s impoverished. The real concern for me is, can she learn something new? And I just don’t know. She’s still very sharp witted, but I don’t know if she can learn.
Really am starting to think we should just fix up her old one, who cares if it’s not worth the cost.
My mom, whose memory was fine, turned down a loaner while her car was in the shop for exactly this reason. She claimed she was a creature of habit, but in reality, i know she was afraid of keeping track of all of the different car features AND driving - all at the same time.
Could you find her a used, but newer, version of her current car? It would be mostly familiar. The benefit of any newer car is that it’ll have more safety features.
Any chance of getting her to use a service like uber or lyft? Or a driver she can call and pay as needed? That gives her the independence without the keys. But that independence is a huge thing. My FIL said that was for him one of the single hardest things to adjust to was carlessness, and I get it. It sounds like you do too in terms of helping your mom.
My mom did give up her car at 88. I noticed that when we were together, she increasingly preferred that I drove, so maybe she was a little relieved too. I wouldn’t underestimate that element either if you work on a fix.
Fwiw, I’d be reluctant to pour money into the existing car. Ime, once you start hitting repairs at that $ point on a much older car, there’s another one waiting in the wings.
I’m so glad someone else said this! H has a 2021 Crosstrek. One level up from the base model. I am a jumpy person and a noise sensitive person. I do not care for all of the warning lights and beeps! I find them very distracting, especially at night. We were able to turn off the feature when it pulls you back into the lane. I hated that. Sometimes I want to go over the line to avoid a biker, pot hole, etc. and it would freak me out pulling on me. But you still get the “beep beep beep” warning.
For a person like me, these aren’t safety features. They are dangerous features.
She’s definitely reluctant to pour money into an old car, but what I’m seeing is that it’s hard to find an older car, and they don’t guarantee that there aren’t plenty of things wrong with it, it could be worse than hers. Her car is relatively low miles for a 20 yr old car (145K), the body is in great shape, no dents or accidents, new tires, new battery. Just those pesky engine and radiator problems. She will likely only drive it 5-10K more miles in her lifetime, if that.
I don’t know if she could figure out Uber or Lyft, unfortunately.
Wow, I hadn’t noticed that at all when I test drove the car. I test drove a 2023 Crosstrek, one level up from the base. I was also wondering if we could turn off the security alarm. That is good information to know, because my mom is definitely a jumpy sort of person. Oh no, I thought this would be the right car!
a lot to learn – I find the temperature/air/heat particularly non intuitive but I have always driven a Honda. DH loves the car. Finding an earlier model isn’t a bad compromise either. Or – try driving her for a few weeks while she decides. Perhaps her resistance to that simple solution would subside. (My mom is being driven “for the winter” and we can see her easily forgetting how to drive enough that she gives it up)
I went from a 2000 to a 2017 CRV when I was 66 and it took quite a while to get used to all the safety features, including the rear view camera. All my instincts were for the old car. I trusted them (my instincts) much more than the features, which were indeed distracting. I hadn’t even tried the cruise control until 2022 and was startled that it had its own opinion on how close I could get to the car ahead of me. And the “don’t switch lanes” alerts were disconcerting for months.
Now I’m happy with the safety features and rely on them for assistance. But it was very hard to give up instincts developed for so long. It’s not so much learning about the changes, but learning to be comfortable with them.
Another random thought…I forget how old you said her current Subaru is…is there a similar year/model that you could find that is maybe in a little better shape but same interior space/controls?
Now I see the car only has 145k mikes - that’s nothing for a Subaru! Maybe fixing it is good!
I did find a 2007 of the same model with less than 75K miles. Think we’re going to look at that today, maybe that would be a good option!
My gage in term of learning new things is how well can your mom use her iPhone. Does she only use it for making phone calls and an occasional texting? Or can she navigate email, safari, update software, and change the volume on her phone? My mom cannot, unfortunately. My sister got her a new iPhone 15 and it took her forever to using the phone without the home button.
Her 2017 Subaru Forester is the basic model bc dad at the time did not want to spend $$$. She wishes she had seat warmers and navigation.
I dunno, but I think people with dementia bad enough that they can’t use Uber or Lyft ought to get their driving assessed. There are many programs that do this – they test reflexes, vision, etc, as well as an actual driving assessment.
I understand she only drives in familiar areas, but what if a kid on a bike darts out in front of her? Are her reaction times good enough?
And maybe I’m a negative nellie; in that case getting an assessment that shows she’s fine to drive would be excellent information to have.
It sounds like that somewhat newer car is definitely worth checking out. Fingers crossed it works out!
Phones calls, texts, email are good. She also uses a computer. Doesn’t update, but I think she can change the volume.
I actually might look at an older Forester, also. They used to be smaller.
No issues with reaction time. She’s probably overly reactive. I’m just assuming she couldn’t use Uber or Lyft, though I don’t know. I’m not too great at using Uber myself, it can be confusing, and I have navigated my way through unfamiliar places all over the world. So I don’t know if that is a good gauge for her.
Which is the more pressing issue, the radiator or the engine?
Replacing a radiator is fairly cheap, probably < $750.
What engine repairs are they recommending? For $5k you could practically drop a new engine in it.
If the car only needs to run for a few more years, I would consider fixing only what is critical or near imminent failure. I bet you could keep it on the road for a few more years for way less than $6000.
Yes, I agree with getting an assessment. When my dad finally saw a neurologist back in 2013, his PCP suggested, he failed several components of the dementia test. Neurologist was concerned about his driving ability and wanted him to get a driving assessment at the hospital. Dad left that appointment vowing to never return for any follow up because he didn’t want to lose his driving privileges. Mom and I couldn’t budge him on this. For years we worried! Once he started his real decline about 3 years and got lost while driving alone, I had to take his driver’s license away. He was very upset.