My son who is flying over from Poland said that just today. We are so thankful for this time! As a result, Dad got to see my son’s civil marriage ceremony online in February. DS is planning a big wedding once they can immigrate to the US, but he is so happy his grandfather saw him get married. And Dad met a really nice woman who has meant the world to him. Plus we went on the crazy trip to Savannah and Charleston last July! So hot, but worth it.
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That’s really good to know, thanks.
The CC community is just amazing. I so appreciate everyone’s kind words and excellent advice! It means a lot to me.
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I’m not really sure what to hope for your dad at this point, but I’m glad you and your sister will be together, along with your son. It’s great that you are working together and not against each other. Hugs to you during this very tough time.
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Weird as it sounds, over the years (decades?!) we go through so much here together that it is so natural to support each other!
Safe travels tomorrow. 
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Hugs, MLH 
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So glad your S will be there for you and your dad and extra nice he was able to see the video of the ceremony of your S’s wedding AND have a nice trip with you and his lady friend.
I believe we paid for funeral things via CCard as well.
Wonderful that your dad knows UT will send sone band members to play for him. Sounds like he is very much beloved!
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Spoke with my mom today per usual – it is shocking to me how fast she is losing her ability to discern time. Local is picking her up for a hair appointment (her AL has a beauty parlor, but we like to get her out to see the world) that is at 2:15. Written on her calendar. But she was up early , ate early breakfast quickly because she thought “2:15” was this morning, and I had no ability to make it make sense to her so I changed the subject to “he’ll be there on time, after lunch”.
Yesterday it was a “mystery appointment” that has been on her calendar for months and she could not retain the what/why of it. This is a written large print calender hanging on her bathroom door where she can check it every five minutes if she wants. “What is happening {that day} because I can’t read it” she said. Preferred has noticed she can’t tell time on an analog clock “It’s when the little hand is over by the bottom that it’s lunch” meaning 11:30.
I am so appreciative to Local and Preferred for handling the transition from hospital to AL, and jumping on her choice to go. I think I would have over examined it, but maybe not. We three are turning out to be a pretty capable team, but some days it all makes me so sad. This time, I know these things mean she is drifting away and not coming back.
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Many many hugs and all the sunny energy sending out.
These are hard times. Glad your families are a plus for you
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Nobody knows if Dad will recover. The infection has spread to his bones but they don’t know how far. He needs an MRI to determine that, but he’s not stable enough to be transferred to the facility with MRI capability. If the infection has spread, he would need below knee amputation.
The rest of the story: My dad has a former student, we’ll call him John, who has been awesome. He visits Dad regularly. He was a classmate of mine and DH’s and we know him pretty well. Now he is insisting he’s going to bring in a Pulsed Electromagnetic Magnetic Field device (covertly if necessary) to put on Dad’s foot wound to “reduce. I’m sorry, my sister and I aren’t into that stuff. We said no, thank you, and he implied that it would be our fault if we don’t try it and Dad has to have the amputation!! I talked to a nurse and she said they don’t allow outside devices (ha, we can’t even bring in a cot). My sister has medical power of attorney and is willing to be the bad guy. So now John is texting her at work. 
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Nice that the friend cares about your Dad. Awful that he is so intrusive, especially with something not in the scope of the treatment recommended by the doctors.
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Well…whether you would believe it works or not it doesn’t matter. One of the conditions to NOT use it is in cases of acute infection. That should end the discussion.
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Oh no, that’s no way to behave! Even if John just shows his worry and grief in an odd overly aggressive completely unhelpful way, just stoooppppp.
Kudos to you guys for holding the line, and thank you for the update.
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John visited again yesterday. Surprisingly, there was no awkwardness. He’s so good with Dad - he even got him to give the Longhorns’ hook ‘em gesture.
Yesterday the doctor explained that the infection, although a stage 4 wound, is only a minor concern compared to his heart and kidney issues, so “that’s why his prognosis is not good.”
The patient advocate Dad hired facilitated a discussion with him, my sister, and me to determine his wishes if he starts to struggle. He was surprisingly clear headed and answered her questions completely. Basically, he want a lot of measures taken to prolong his life ONE time, but not repeatedly. He also wanted to talk about money. He’s so scared he’s going to run out, when actually he has a lot more now than just a year ago - his investments have done well. He also mentioned he wants to make sure his father’s bad debts have been covered. Dad gave my grandfather (who died at 98 in 2009) many tens of thousands of dollars over the years to help him out. I told him that everything had been taken care of.
I also had the opportunity to tell him I had withdrawn money from his account to cover immediate expenses if something happens. It was a relief to be open and he was fine with it. So he’s definitely more alert than he’s been. We couldn’t have had this conversation before this.
DH leaves in an hour to go back to Maine and our daughter arrives from Maine in 6 hours. They will pass in the air!
Dad’s lady friend insisted on taking 5 of us family members out for an incredible meal at Carve, a top notch restaurant in Austin. She is such a sweetheart. Dad’s illness has been really hard on her. 
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I’m so glad you are there.
I think it’s good for your dad, support for your sister and good for you to spend this time with him.
You’re doing a good job.
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Sending hugs to you during this difficult time. Glad he will get grandchild time too… that’s can be uplifting to all.
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Sending more hugs and positive thoughts your way. I’m glad you and your sister and some other members of your family have been able to be with your dad.
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Wow. We’ve been trying to get an MRI scheduled for Dad for almost two weeks, to determine the extent of his bone infection. At 6 pm today (!!!) the charge nurse came in to say that it had finally been scheduled for 8:45 tomorrow morning. “But we wanted to make sure the family approves, because the contrast they use can damage the kidneys of someone who has kidney disease."
"I’m an engineer. I like numbers. Can you give me statistics?” “Uh, no, I just know it’s hard for damaged kidneys to flush it.” “Can we talk to Dad’s kidney doctor so we can make a decision?” “Oh, he won’t be around tonight. Maybe in the morning? I’m going off shift so you can speak to the next charge nurse. But none of us know much about MRIs…”
So we put in a request to speak to the next charge nurse. We were told she was busy. We finally called the advocate we hired and she said we should demand to speak to the kidney doctor on call. One nurse finally took pity on us and called Dad’s kidney doctor and asked him to call my sister. He did, at 7:45. So we were anxious for almost 2 hours. The doctor said that the nurse was wrong (!!!), the type of contrast they use in MRIs does not damage kidneys. OMG. He said he would speak to the nursing staff. We could tell he was pissed.
We got home after 8, annoyed to be eating dinner so late and worrying for nothing. We will file a complaint with the ombudsman tomorrow.
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omg. Ombudsman indeed. Finding out who the patient advocate is, and asking for what you want seems to be 1000% necessary in care settings these days. Good job standing your ground
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@MaineLonghorn i hope things are okay with your family. I’ve been thinking about your situation
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