These are all good ideas, thank you. I got her two outfits and one dress for the wedding. The pants need to be hemmed, so I will try and get those done when I am there later this month. (There are no tailors, she is not capable, siblings will not register any of this) The dress she says she likes, says she tried on, but I don’t believe her necessarily. She is a “pleaser” and getting her to try stuff on is difficult (she feels that you live with what you are given, so what if it doesn’t fit). She won’t tellme what size fits and sibs won’t check. Tops are really hard because her spine is so bent and her arms are big, but things like tunics for coverage are too long. Currently we rely on layers!
Another problem? Some of the new clothes we (SIL and I) have provided she does not recognize as her own, so she gives them to staff as a lost and found item. Or she puts them in a drawer and completely forgets she has them. Now we know to write her name in clothes no matter what.
In the venting thread, I shared about dealing with Chase Bank for my dad. NEVER USE THAT BANK! Good grief. The issue I shared is just the latest of a string of nonsense.
I’ve been spending a lot of time helping Dad. My sister reminded me that when she was doing so much, she asked him to help cover her housecleaning costs, and he did, so I think I will ask that of him. The one helpful employee at the bank (who is frustrated with his own company) called me this morning, on a Saturday. I thought today would be my one uninterrupted day to get work done. Nope.
I called Dad yesterday to discuss the sale of his rental house - closing is next week. He sounded OK but had absolutely zero interest in any of the details, and that’s not like him.
Ha, I doubt it. He’s just not the same after his stroke.
Insurance denied the request for him to go into rehab to learn how to use his prosthetic leg. The doctor filed an appeal and it was denied. A “family appeal” can be made, so Dad’s advocate talked to them on the phone yesterday. I don’t have much hope that they will change their minds. I guess this is Dad’s private insurance, which has always been awesome in the past. He can do outpatient rehab, but what a hassle, going across town every day.
Seems kind of stupid to approve a prosthetic leg but deny rehab to allow the patient to learn to walk on it. Insurance companies make no sense sometimes.
Sure, but the reality of an ill, elderly patient being able to actually get to outpatient rehab is not always possible. Rules can make sense until they don’t, and I just feel like appeals should be considered based on individual situations.
Oh, we’re still waiting to hear the decision on the second appeal for in patient. The advocate feels pretty certain he will be approved for out patient if he’s denied for in patient.
maybe if they deny him for inpatient, he can manage one or two outpatient sessions and then you could appeal again for inpatient, with documentation from the outpatient therapists supporting inpatient? It’s so unrealistic to expect elderly people with multiple complications to add a commute to their schedule.
You possibly can find one that is - often the facility has rehab wing (with PT/OT/ST rooms/areas) and SNF wing, and onsite rehab people. Some are better with rehab than others. The people in rehab often are from the hospital and getting their rehab days after hospitalization. Some that came into our facility sometimes were for respite care.
Chase must have closed my dad’s checking account right at the beginning of the day, because his bookkeeper was not able to transfer money out. So a check for a big repair bill bounced. It’s just unbelievable. There is accessible money in another account, thank goodness. But of course Dad will have to pay overdraft fees.
(And if it hadn’t been for the helpful employee up here who warned me about the closing, we would have no idea why the check bounced.)
This is a vent, there is no solution because it’s my husband’s parents and not mine. Besides they don’t listen.
My husband has his parent’s car this week because it needs new brakes. My mil insists on still driving at 89 and neither of her sons want to have that talk with their incredibly stubborn and willful mother.
We are letting them borrow my Subaru Outback so that they could see if a small suv would be easier for my fil to get in and out of. My husband mentioned it several times
Mil called. She has plans every day this week but my fil has not left the house. She hasn’t tried to see if it would be easier for him to get in and out of our car. I don’t think she will, even though my husband reminded her.
So frustrating!!!
I also think it’s kinda crappy that my fil is basically going nowhere these days. How is this healthy?
All I know is your MIL better refill your gas tank at the end of the week!
I guess for some elderly people not leaving the house is not usual. But I bet he sure would like a little “Sunday drive” any day of the week! Go get ice cream! Go drive through a pretty neighborhood. Go to a park and sit on a bench for 20 minutes.
I understand being frustrated that she keeps a busy life but that FIL because he is more limited has no choice but to stay home.
I agree that there might be a physical reason the FIL might not want to leave the house.
Dh found the CCRC where they moved his mother many years ago. He was so frustrated that she had access to all these activities and never did any of them except for an occasional meal in the dining room. She preferred staying in her half a duplex, doing puzzles, playing her slot machine and watching TV and going to church on Sundays. That was it, and she was fine with it.
I was so impressed when my father first moved into his assisted living with the amount of stuff that was happening every day. Yoga, bingo, puzzles, afternoon socials, etc. I thought great this will keep my father occupied and social. He never participated in any of it. Everybody has their own way (I would have been at things every day).
