I just came back from the appointment. I wish I saw your comment before the appointment. I stayed because I knew that the person would have some trouble finding the shop (even though she chose this location). And yes she got lost and called me to help her with directions! I won’t go into all the details but this person said to the body shop staff person (and in front of me) that she doesn’t understand how her car was damaged so badly and that my mom is a bit dim. She used hand motions in the head area insinuating she not right in her head. I told her what she was saying is inappropriate and I left. I am so angry at this person for such rude and insensitive comments. I feel protective of my mom too. I already know this person will overshare her views of my mom and the incident with fellow parishioners. Mean girls issues still exist no matter what age. I regret not confronting her more forcefully. Bad behavior always astounds me.
That’s a big premium! My mom is too much of a cheapskate to pay that much. She’ll stop driving immediately if the premium gets that high.
Just kind of funny - my son had an accident because of an ice storm in NY. Months after the accident we got a bill from the state for fixing the guard rail! The car was totaled, so we definitely relied on insurance to pay, but that bill from the state was unexpected.
A couple of possible snappy come-backs for rude elderly mean girls like her in the future: 
- “Whether or not my mom is ‘a bit dim’ is debatable, but one thing’s for sure…she’s not as rude as you.”
- “Huh…you actually said that out loud?”
- “Well, bless your heart”
- “Excuse me…(long pause) Could you say that again?” Then wait 3-4 sec after Mean Girl Marge puts her foot in her mouth a 2nd time and then you say, “And your point is?”
I would’ve said, “You called me for directions to the place you insisted we go, so I wouldn’t be throwing stones.” See what I did there with that Biblical reference?
Between needing directions, the phone not working thing, and the inappropriate comments, I wonder if SHE isn’t having dementia issues. My coworker’s H is rapidly declining from Alzheimer’s and those comments are in line with what he’s been doing recently when out in public.
My husband was fined $400 for damaging the road sign in Poland - they charged our credit card quite quickly. We were just happy to get of there that easily.
Fortunately it’s not @cag60093 concern what the other person’s doing.
She told the woman she was acting inappropriately and left.
Thank goodness the insurance is now involved and they get to deal with her.
I’m sorry your mother has to put up with a mean girl at her age. I guess not all of us mature.
I agree that @cag60093 is likely dealing with someone who has some level (maybe a lot) of dementia and therefore inappropriate behavior and all the other odd behavior. It’s best to allow insurance to resolve this instead of being in the middle of it.
@Youdon_tsay I totally misread your comment. I thought you were correcting me for OP’s mom’s age! Now I get it, you were answering my question!
So sorry, my fault for doing like 3 things at a time!
My dad was an interstate truck driver as his career. He drove millions of miles and never had an accident, or any citation. He had no trouble keeping insurance.
My local sister who lived with him was going on vacation and it was my turn to come stay with dad for the week (which actually was a lot of fun). While I was there, he asked me to drive him to the DMV to turn in his license. He also titled his car over to my nephew. I was shocked. He didn’t drive very far at that point (he was 84). Before I took him, I called my other two sisters who weren’t on vacation…and asked if I should take him…and they said to do what he wanted. I queried him a few times before I drove him to the DMV.
He said “I’ve driven millions of miles with no issues and I don’t want to push my luck. I know my reflexes aren’t as good as they used to be”
It was kind of a sad day, but it is what my dad decided…on his own.
What a smart, thoughtful man!
My mother was a safe but cautious driver. Only drove 1000 miles/year. But around age 85 she decided on her own to stop driving. I was really proud of how she figured out doing WalmartToGo grocery delivery on her computer. Sometimes I took her to an appointment, but she also used the local senior bus pickup service.
My H’s uncle stopped driving in his 90s because one of his great nieces/nephews NEEDED his car and he was fine with catching the bus everywhere he wanted to go. We attended his 100th birthday celebration where he stood and greeted guests all night and was fully able to converse with everyone. He died shortly after that great event.
I fervently hope that when I am older, I do not see the age I stop driving as some sort of contest.
My dad stopped driving at about 84, when he had bouts of passing out and he still had the sense to stop it. So my elderly mom became his driver, which was a nightmare for her. When he was sick, she didn’t give it up so much as we started jumping in with “oh,I’ll take you”. Then I gave her the self assessment (my siblings wouldn’t, and I am FAS so I get they didn’t want the daily face of anger over that) which she failed spectacularly.
Elderly drivers are a danger to themselves and their community. I get that it’s wrenching, and schedule-destroying. A matter of pride and independence. But thank you to every elderly person and their family who make the switch. (That’s how we phrased it to Mom – you aremaking a switch)
I electronically signed all the paper work for the closing on my dad’s rental house last night. There was an online notary who helped me. Such a nice guy - his two daughters went to UT-Austin. 
But I wish the title company or someone had told me the information I would need to supply. My dad’s Social Security number and the tax ID number for the family partnership, in particular! I had no idea. I called Dad and he rattled off his SSN, no problem (that was cool!). The notary said the EIN might be in the trust documents, so I found them on my computer and finally located it.
The Chase bank account that closed is the one for the family partnership. A week later, and the money is still in the account, inaccessible!! I called again yesterday and they said the money was “released” Monday, but it will be five or six business days before a check is overnighted. Ugh. Any way, the house proceeds should really go into a partnership account, but the notary said to just put down my dad’s personal account. I hope it works, sigh. Such bad timing for Chase to act so abominably. Now I have to figure out how to set up a new account for Dad, long distance. I can’t think of any other banks that have offices here and in Austin. 
To be honest, I was so frustrated with all of this yesterday that I bursted out crying when my H came home from work. lol. I gave the whole thing a lot of thought and lessons I learned are the following:
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Don’t doubt my gut instincts and allow local sis to butt in - I called mom’s SF agent Monday morning, but he didn’t call back. Mom said she heard he has been ill recently and hospitalized. (Timing was never in my parents favor, ever.). The national SF call center was busy and I was waiting for a call back from a live agent. In the meantime, local sis texted don’t report bc mom’s premium will go up and she may lose her driving licenses so pay out of pocket, etc. I thought her reasoning is possible so I thought I would at least find out what the cost will be out of pocket.
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Never tell the other party anything, hold info close to heart - Immediately after the accident, I informed the lady, I’ll report it to insurance. After considering out of pocket options, I informed the lady that we can get estimates and mom may consider paying out of pocket. I really did not need to inform her bc it gave her fuel to think and to say really idiotic things. (Lady to mom on the phone - do you even have enough money to cover out of the pocket costs? Bring your checkbook to the estimate because other people mentioned what happens if you die before the repairs are done?)
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People like this lady and local sis have to display they are the victims, they are always right, others should do the work while they comment loudly their superiority by telling you how to do things, etc.
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This lady (83) was dressed in slim capri pants, heeled mules, dyed hair without a speck of white/gray strands, full on makeup, LV purse. Mom (84), old white jeans, blue and white stripe oxford shirt, sneakers, no name purse, never dyed hair full of gray strands and no makeup. People like this lady at church look down on my mom. We noticed during my dad’s funeral - even my daughter then 21 said, those mean grannies are judgy types. lol, but truly sad. My parents never displayed their “wealth.” They don’t even know how. I think the lady couldn’t help herself saying rude things to take a dig at mom, thinking she’s somehow superior.
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I helped my dad and mom daily for about 3 years when dad’s health started declining (vascular dementia, regular TIAs, whole lot of stress during COVID years (2020-2022). It was very hard on them and me. Local sis did not help much and only showed up on her schedule. Dad’s passing was hard on mom, but he was always a dominant person and mom didn’t have a lot of freedom. It took a while, but mom finally found joy in doing things she wants to do. I too enjoyed the freedom I had for a couple of years where I wasn’t dealing with crisis with parent issues. I was hoping I had more time not to worry, but I know things will come up and I have to be a big girl and just get on board.
Sorry for the long sad comments, I will stop now and move on.
Ugh, “church ladies!!” There was an old bat named Ginny at our old church. When my oldest got baptized when he was six, I decided to, also, because when I did it as a 16-year-old, it was just to get my dad off my back (the denomination puts HIGH emphasis on baptism). It was really a wonderful occasion. DS read his own testimony (afterwards, somebody asked me if he was home-schooled, ha - no, he goes to a public school, thank you) and I said a few words.
Then Ginny came up to me and with a sweet smile said, “It took you long enough, didn’t it?” Grr. Steam still comes out of my head when I think about it. Why in the world would you say something like that??
And I’ll be like your mom, not dressed up at all! That’s actually one reason I was glad to move out of Texas, it’s not quite so bad up here in Maine.
I think when people say thoughtless things it’s about themselves, not the other person.
This thread is for the good, bad, ugly, sad, mad, funny times - all of them! Feel free to vent as needed.