My brother had a construction crew who worked on his projects cons and take everything from my folks independent unit to the house they owned the day or two after mom died. It was a lot and then folks had to go there to get anything they wanted before it was all donated.
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And keep copies of taxes that you find from 3-5 years (federal and state).
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We have dealt with estates for my dad and two of my brothers. In all three cases, we itemized everything involved in settling the estate & were reimbursed from the proceeds. We included everything related to settling the estate, including our own transportation & food for house clean-out, supplies to pack items for transportation back to our own homes, UHaul, publication of obituary, memorial luncheon … everything was itemized & approved by the probate court. My brother worked especially hard to settle the estate of one brother, and we made him take some pay for his time and effort.
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And do an itemization of household contents–mostly anything major or worth money that you would sell later. Give it an estimate value. Major furniture, heirlooms etc., car. I don’t know all the guidelines but you can be pretty general about some stuff. Unless you’ve got a huge estate it won’t really matter.
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We did this, and it ended up we didn’t need to. This is where the advice of a lawyer is very handy.
Also , when itemizing, it is okay to use generalities like “4 boxes miscellaneous decor” or “3 boxes household items”. It does sound as if deb is dealing with a fairly small amount of physical inventory, so that does make it less cumbersome.
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Nothing of value in the house. All was either given away through facebook marketplace, goodwill or my sibling took it
My sibling was in a big hurry to get out of the apartment so we didn’t have to pay for March rent
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So that part is done? That would be great, if so.
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We got the apartment cleaned out today. Except for the few items my sibling and her kids want which they will hire movers for tomorrow.
Hand in the keys and hopefully we won’t be charged March rent 
My sibling wanted me to stay for a few days to get things finished. We got a lot accomplished and I’m going home tomorrow morning. I will be very happy to be home. I’ve been in hotels too long!
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@deb922 - safe travels. Take care.
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Make sure you read the contract for her IL apartment. I just read the contract for my FIL and it states that he/the estate is responsible for 14 additional days rent after death/move to nursing home. It specifically said moving out before 14 days does not make a difference.
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Any familiarity with rehab center care meetings?
There was one for my father (including me/sis on phone) about a week after he arrived. Now 4 weeks later he is getting for release in another week. Social Worker said there might not be another one, but it seems long enough now there might be? Trying to figure out whether to be there to help at homecoming, something easy for me to do since I am already back east for other matters. (I try to get info from his wife. She claims no meeting. And she has only given us vague info on the morning aid they will hire. So far she says my help is not needed, but social worker last month thought at that point wife + aids would not be enough in beginning)
When you visit the rehab, you can perhaps talk to the nursing unit manager to ask questions (perhaps w/o your father’s wife since she might be filtering information or have ‘wishful thinking’ about how things will ‘work out’ at home). IDK about their living arrangements and how functional things are with either of them. Also assess what you see with your father and ask him questions. “Vague information on the morning aid they will hire” - they may have names of agencies, and she may not have lined anything up specifically. If they are in IL or AL what is often done there. Maybe the ‘newness’ of adding another thing - a new routine to their life.
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Hugs
I was able to call the social worker at the rehab center and ask since it sounds like your father’s wife isn’t as forthcoming as maybe you would like. You may find that she isn’t liking the answers that she’s getting so she’s deciding to ignore them.
I helped on the front end of mom’s stay and my sibling helped her move into independent living.
Recently my mom really needed to move to assisted living. Mom was so against it, she fought tooth and nail. Up to 2 days before she died. She was stubborn. When I talked to a couple of mom’s neighbors, it sounded like it was a familiar thing
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I think having a care meeting around discharge is common even if you had one early in the stay. I’m pretty sure you can request one. It’s a good opportunity to hear what supports they think he needs at home, to ensure any prescriptions for care (visiting nurse, OT/PT) get written before discharge, and to get the contact info for agencies they recommend for home care.
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My mom had a file box of her papers.
It was at my siblings. Sibling didn’t seem to understand why I needed her papers and will, I insisted
Mom was terribly organized! I did a quick look through, it seems that I have the information I need. I told the funeral home director that I wasn’t sure how many copies my sibling needed, but this is what I want. I have the signed copy of the will!
My sibling seems to want to get every penny available, such as not paying another month’s rent, returning the scooter mom bought the week before she died, mom didn’t have much. Sibling is comfortable so this was confusing.
Anyways, I’m home. With my husband. No one else here. I can’t wait to sleep in my own bed!
Now I will wait for the death certificates and will get to work to close her accounts and wait for medical statements
My sibling is forwarding mom’s mail to her house. We ran out of time to change her address. For $40, we can forward for 18 months.
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That is all well done – I am glad you are home again. Time to get a little bit of rest!
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What? Is this through usps? I’ve never heard about having to pay for forwarding. When my mom died, I changed her address to mine. I don’t remember if I needed a death certificate to do that, but I really don’t think I did. The biggest annoyance was we started getting “welcome to the neighborhood” mailings from every realtor and pizza restaurant in the area.
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Good job!
My brother was like your sister in terms of squeezing every penny out of mom’s estate. He still has probably $15k worth of our dad’s guns that my mother put him in charge of selling after dad died in 2020. He didn’t want to take one penny less than HE thought our dad would want for those guns. He said to do so would “dishonor” dad. 
Whatever, dude. I haven’t brought it up in about a year and am not sure that my sister and I will ever see one penny from them. I offered to take them and sell them a couple of years ago (I have a friend who is a gun dealer), but he didn’t want to relinquish control. So the classic doesn’t want to do it and won’t let anyone else do it. I guess the next time I mention it I’ll suggest that we just divvy up the guns and let each of us keep or dispose of them as we wish.
Some things just aren’t worth worrying about. I hadn’t thought about those guns in a year until you mentioned the scooter! People are funny.
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I remember your discussing the xmas family drama! Hugs and more hugs.
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There was some confusion about changing the address.
At one point, mom was doing better, we were taking about moving her to a nursing home. She declined so that wasn’t an option.
The post office told me that mom needed to come in or I would have to bring in the POA to change her address.
My sister decided to forward the mail until we knew where mom was going. It seemed easier. She found that the mail can be forwarded for 18 months for a fee.
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