Local has been super busy with our mom, and I was thinking of giving a gift to say thanks/appreciation but is that weird? Like they are doing something for me, not for her? I wondered what people here, who are their family’s Local, think.
4 Likes
I think appreciation, whatever form it takes, is always welcome 
12 Likes
Do it! I’m sure they’d appreciate it.
2 Likes
I sent gifts of food to my and my husband’s siblings for their help.
It’s a tough job and I’m sure it’s easy to feel unappreciated
3 Likes
We gave SMALL gifts to mom’s companions. They seemed to appreciate it.
1 Like
A gift is always appreciated. I was the not-too-local sibling and every once in a while, I’d get a gift card or food delivery from one of my siblings. None of the others were close enough to do any physical legwork, but they were grateful that I could help out. I was very touched.
4 Likes
My dad’s craniotomy, delayed a week due to a cellulitis infection in his leg was scheduled for yesterday. Overnight on Monday, his legs blew up, swollen, red, painful. He could barely walk. I’ll spare you the details of the long day, but the TLDR is that the surgery has been delayed once again. He was admitted so they can figure out the leg(s) issue. They are treating him with abx, but also running tests to rule out a clot or another vascular issue. If they can get that sorted out, the surgeon said he can fit him in the schedule for early next week. Stay tuned…
21 Likes
Gosh, that sounds stressful. I hope he has quick response to the leg treatments and then a successful craniotomy next week.
1 Like
Oh no!!! What a marathon you are going through 
1 Like
My mother-in-law wants to get an outdoor recliner for my father-in-law. He spends most of the day sitting outside and is currently siting at an outdoor patio table. She like the idea of something more comfortable and that would put his legs up. She wanted it to have wheels which I’ve searched an is not a possibility. It needs to have arm rails that he can use to stand up. She prefers a higher sat height to make it easier for him to get in and out of.
Anyone purchased something similar that you recommend?
Thanks
My brother helped my parents find a recliner to buy for my dad a few years ago that could lift him up to get out of it easier. When my dad would use the lift function of the chair it did help him get up. My dad had Parkinson’s and sometimes he would try and try to get up and not use the lift until someone reminded him to.
1 Like
My mom had a lift recliner that she would not use. She wasn’t that bad. 
I’m thinking you are trying to find something like that but for outside use?
My sister-in-law wants them to get one of those chairs for inside. They so far are refusing. My mom had one of those chairs 30 years ago and my youngest and her cousin loved that chair. Both of them wanted it when my mom passed away.
He literally is outside from 9-5. They move from one side of the house to the other with the sun.
Yes
When my mom passed away we put that lift recliner on Facebook marketplace. It had never been used. . A young man came over to buy it for $25 and cried because his mom wanted one so badly.
Felt good to let that chair go.
13 Likes
would one of those gravity recliners work for him - just shifting your weight gets it to recline and then straighten back up
We had a pair in our backyard that we liked and used for many years.
2 Likes
Catching up on NY Times (May 2 article), and article about elder care parents. Here are some important ‘facts’:
”Last year, about 11,400 Americans, on average, turned 65 on any given day. That wave of aging is continuing this year, too. Families, particularly those headed by members of Generation X, are confronting what older relatives may need and from whom — whether loved ones or professionals. It is the part of retirement no one wants to consider, yet for many it will touch every facet of life, like finances and health care, and the most fundamental questions of where and how to live. Retirement in very advanced age is a possibility that longevity experts say could become a reality for more Americans than most people realize. Surya Kolluri, who leads the TIAA Institute, the research arm of the retirement plan provider, warns that many Americans underestimate how long they could live. In a 2025 survey by the institute, only 33 percent of respondents answered correctly when asked how long a 65-year-old typically lived. The answer: For a woman, the average is 87 years and for a man, 84. Despite recent reports of a decline in average life expectancy, the chance that someone who is 65 reaches 90 can’t be overlooked: It’s 40 percent for women and 30 percent for men, Mr. Kolluri said. “We are racing toward 100-year lives,” he said.”
For a long time, I had stuck in my head about average age 77/78, and that has gone up quite a bit.
Here is another tidbit from ‘parents caring for parents’ in the article: “It’s difficult for your partner to love your parent the way you do, and they’re seeing your parent at their most weakened state — difficult, cantankerous and needy.”
The article talked about a couple moving away from family to buy their ‘dream house’ in a rural area, which didn’t serve them well in declining health as time went on, away from family, a 4,000 square foot home for two people. The parents didn’t consult their children when they made the move…..
One individual stated “former classmates at the University of Pennsylvania’s Wharton School have a WhatsApp group, Elder Care Connect, where he offers support and advice. “I don’t know if it’s an uptick or that people need to connect, but people are going through the same stuff,” he said.”
”It is impossible to predict how each person will age, but watching how your parents and grandparents did may lend valuable insight for your own future.”
”Dr. Atul Gawande, a surgeon at Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston and the author of “Being Mortal,” said discussing preferences with family members was a vital part of helping them sustain a fulfilling life, especially those with serious health problems. He recommends a series of questions, called the Conversation Project, to help guide family decisions. The questions include: What does a good day look like for you? What activities bring joy and meaning to your life? If your health gets worse, what are your most important goals?”
“It’s almost embarrassing that it took me writing a whole book, interviewing 200 families and patients and scores of experts, to come to a pretty simple conclusion,” Dr. Gawande said. “People have priorities in their lives besides just living longer, and in order to understand what those priorities are, you need to ask them.”
3 Likes
Such a helpful book. I encourage friends to read it, ideally while parents are still healthy. It was helpful for me to have those insights before my mother got sick. And honestly it impacted thoughts for my own life planning (quality over quantity).
3 Likes
This should be a gift link
https://www.nytimes.com/2026/05/03/opinion/old-age-planning-parents-family.html?unlocked_article_code=1.flA.7MB2.HTyPGmnh1Ua-&smid=nytcore-ios-share
It’s from a palliative care physician talking about her own journey with her parents. Feels very familiar
4 Likes
Any experiences with etiher of these medical alert systems?
Medical Alert Options: Community Health Professionals offers Philips Lifeline/Medscope, and Ellis Medicine provides mobile alert systems for, including fall detection.