The thing about a flight is that it’s a few hours and DONE. No matter how horrible it is, it ends fast.
My late brother flew a couple of times when he was really orthopedically disabled, and even with two flights to get from St. Croix to San Juan to NY, the airline was extremely accommodating.
I flew Allegiant Air from St. Pete/Clearwater last night up to Stewart/Newburgh. The flight that we were scheduled on arrived early, but an announcement was made that we would be delayed about 1/2 hour. I didn’t know why until I saw wheelchairs lined up at the outdoor ramp. It looked like every senior citizen in the North decided to come to Florida for Christmas. There were about 35 or so wheelchair passengers! Some were slightly younger and had what appeared to be a spouse helping them, but most seemed to have caregivers or family members. Some were seemingly more alert than others, a few looked to be in pretty poor health.
I think that placing a depends with insert pads may help, as they can be more easily changed, along with a chux liner for the seat. If the person can tolerate a mild sedative, the MD may order it for you.
Here’s another challenge if the elderly adult is obese - finding a facility that will accept them.
Yes, I felt pretty svelte hanging around the emergency room for 7 hours or so last night. When I grabbed a wheelchair to help FIL in the door I was fortunately able to pass up the super sized one and use a regular one, but the population coming into the ER was frighteningly large. Although the gentleman who was wheeled past us in the treatment area wearing handcuffs looked quite fit.
My daughter is an ER nurse and she can attest to the fact that the obese patients are at a higher risk for so many complications. And yes, their care is more expensive in terms of time and materials.
The topic of nursing homes not taking obese individuals concerns me very much. My FIL is obese, and I have said to my H, who is his parents’ caregiver, that his father’s inability to move himself will be the indication that he needs to go into a nursing home, because H won’t be able to move him. And so now the nursing homes say they can’t do it, either?
Might be a good idea to start researching your options now @rosered55 so you aren’t taken by surprise when you really need for him to go into a home.
Unfortunately, H’s family is dysfunctional. I have been providing information and suggestions to them for years, and I am ignored until FIL and H are ready to accept the information and suggestions. FIL’s plan is to not leave his home until he’s dead, and he has made references to using his guns to ensure he isn’t moved against his will.
@rosered55 " I have been providing information and suggestions to them for years, and I am ignored until FIL and H are ready to accept the information and suggestions." Boy, does that sound familiar!
My FIL is remaining in his home of 40+ years, which is now owned by a daughter and her husband who take care of him. I’ve tried to encourage them to modify the house to meet their needs, but nothing happens until it’s a crisis. We live too far away to help with the daily work, so we often fund whatever insurance doesn’t cover.
I just read that NYT article. This was precisely the issue we faced with my mom. She had a catastrophic femur fracture five years after knee replacement. No rehab facility would take her, and ultimately, she was at home and tended by my dad and sister for ten years. She couldn’t get out of bed, into a chair, nothing. Toileting (by bedpan) was an hour + several times a day – more if she actually took her Lasix. It was a terrible way to live out one’s life.
And the fight over the car keys begins.
It seems obvious to me that if the stroke rehab center picks you up in a van every morning and drops you off in the afternoon, it is because they don’t think your stroke recovery has progressed to the point that you can drive. Medicare doesn’t pay for car service for just anyone.
But FIL decided that since he overslept and missed the van it would be fine to drive in. With a right foot so swollen he couldn’t get a shoe on, so the rehab center called and asked if I could get him to the ER for his foot. But as he noted repeatedly, he drove just fine and was safe and didn’t have a wreck.
After 7 hours in the ER, treating cellulitis and slowing down the AFib, we left and DH and I did the car shuffle to get his car back home and both of us to our cars. DH then hid the key so FIL wouldn’t “forget” again that he is not supposed to drive.
The next day BIL told him where the key was hidden, and FIL thinks we’re all conspiring against him (actually, we are), and if there is somewhere he wants to go he’ll get in the car and go there.
SIL called the doctor, who told FIL last week that his driving days were over, and asked for the doctor to report FIL to the DMV. Just in case, she sent in a report herself.
I was hoping that a) he would wait until completing rehab before even asking to be evaluated for driving, and that
b) when the time came to take away the keys he would find a way to accept the situation with grace. But no.
Merry Christmas.
Next time you see him, you should “hide” the keys in your pocket.
He claims he has hidden them now that he knows we are after them. When I was there today the bedroom door was closed, which is unusual. I reminded him that rehab wouldn’t send the van if they thought he could drive, and that he should not do so. No response on that one.
We don’t think the car is locked, though, and DH and the BIL with some sense and a spine may go over there this weekend and disable it.
Someone needs to clue in BIL so all of you are on the same page and not stepping on one another’s feet to keep your FIL safe. {{{hugs}}}
Mom of J&L- just remember you are all doing this for the safety and life of that little girl that may live next door or down the street.
Yep, we thought FIL had agreed to stop driving, he’s ONLY 96, but we think it is long past time to stop. The AL director has convinced him (for now) to not bring it up for 3-4 more weeks, until he completes physical therapy, but he is scheming & has now told us we cannot sell the car.
Although I lived a very honest life, that changed in my old age when I learned to lie to my very elderly parents to protect society. It turns out I am very good at it- who knew?
An elderly cousin totaled her BMW at an intersection she’d driven through for 35+ years. She was confused. Her son insisted she buy a new car - I swear it was so he would eventually get it, the jerk. It was at that point that I knew that when mom started having little bumps and dents that she would have to stop driving. There was no way I’d want her in a serious accident. Mom kept herself to driving to a few places, but stopped on her own last year. She’s totally unable to drive, and misses it horribly, but I am grateful we never had to deal with her being in denial.
So the latest is that he had driven to the store twice that we didn’t know about. And he drove slowly and carefully and didn’t have an accident, so he thinks it’s all just fine. And is outraged that we now want his keys. If he doesn’t hand them over tomorrow DH/BIL will disable the car. Not sure when the DMV will contact him as a result of SIL’s notification, but it doesn’t matter - clearly he will drive with or without a license if he can get by with it.
Momofjandl does father in law have someone available to drive him places ? My mom has macular degeneration and I’m her wheels now- it’s difficult for all when they lose their independent - bit it must be done - stay strong